Suicidal Tendencies PROLOGUE
Date: 3-23-12
Rating: T
Seme/Uke: Lee-seme, Gaara-uke
Summary: PROLUGUE Short Poem, with short story. Gaara is on the verge of committing suicide. He has cut himself a countless amount of times. Now he only has one hope left, will Gaara's words sway Lee into loving him? LeeGaa angst sadness mentions of cutting rated.
Word Count: 4,879
Username: XxGaaraloverxX
"Why… Why does everyone hate me? What have I done wrong?"
The shine of a beautiful razorblade, held in the dimness of the bathroom light. It was his favorite. He had it specially made with his name engraved on it and the spaces in the middle of it were cut out in the shape of a heart. Ironic, from the current position he is in.
Sabakuno Gaara, was the definition of an "Emo" or an emotional person. Absolutely, no one liked him. They all considered him a freak, Goth, Emo… Even a monster. Throughout his life, he has been treated like this. Receiving no love, and always being alone. He cannot remember the last time he had ever felt… happy. Happiness is foreign, never to be achieved, for he has only known heartache and sadness. The emotional pain hurts so much. He has no friends, his family hates him, and everyone else seems to as well. He doesn't understand. How can people be so cruel? What has he ever done to deserve such hatred towards him? All he ever wanted was someone to just say "He is alright" instead of the hateful comments always aimed at him. Not a single person ever stood up to him and wanted to chat or hang out. They all just make fun of him, and hurt him in ways no one could ever imagine.
The only way to relieve this emotional pain in Gaara's mind is to counteract it with physical pain. How so? Does he work out? Not even close. He is already extremely underweight as it is. Weighing at only 87 pounds, Gaara is too depressed to eat most of the time. Some of the times, he even punishes himself for being so worthless, by not eating for the entire day; though he already missed yesterday's meals as well. His only true way of relief, is to use that shining blade he is currently holding.
Gaara stood in front of his sink, his razorblade in his right hand. He took a moment to gaze in the mirror at himself; doing so just made him burst into tears. The only word that came into mind; UGLY. "Why am I so ugly? Why am I so ugly!" Quiet sobs echoed in the small bathroom of his small one bedroom home. Black tears spilled into the sink; eyeliner currently being smeared from the salty wet tears that stained his face. He had to look away; he couldn't stand to look at such a hideous face any longer. His heart burned with ache, watching as black lines made their way into the drain of his sink.
Bringing his attention to his left arm instead, he gazed at his tattered and scarred arm. Crooked lines littered his wrist from the bottom of his palm to the curve of his elbow. To others it would probably be considered a massacre, to Gaara, it is considered art. To him, every little cut and every single scar tells a story. He put his precious razorblade down, temporarily, inside of his personalized case. With gentle fingers, he traced some of the scars that defined his arm. His scars looked almost luminescent, compared to his already extremely pale figure.
He briefly traced over a certain scar more towards his elbow; he remembers everything that happened with each and every new scar he obtained. Most of the time it was from others that made him feel pathetic, so he would punish himself. This one, however, was from high school. He was bullied; of course, every single time he was he would take it to heart. Everything that the bully said, he would believe that it was true. Books would be knocked from his hands; he would be shoved into lockers, and tripped on occasion. Most of the time though it was just others making fun of him. And every single time, he would cut himself. A single strait line across his wrists. Depending on how upset he is, depends on how much he would cut. The most he has ever cut in a single night was 23 horizontal cuts scattered on his arms. Most would be on his left, but if there was no more room, he would shakily cut with his left hand; which would usually become messy, since he is right handed.
---
He was walking home from school; he cannot take the bus any longer because of no one sitting next to or near him, he became a problem so he decided to walk home, which is the last stop from the bus *the furthest stop from the school*. His frail, weak body would carry 1/3rd of his weight in books all the way home. On this one evening, it changed him forever.
While walking through the city streets, he was yanked into an alleyway, making him drop all of his books and tearing his book bag strap slightly from the suddenness of the tug. All he had time for was to gasp, and look up into the other persons eyes just long enough before a fist soon clouded his vision. All it took was one good hit in the face, and he was down for the count. He hadn't eaten for three days prior, so he was already weak enough. Even as his lithe form fell to the ground, two others started to kick him ferociously in his sides, chest, and face. His hearing was fading, and the sounds of hitting were muffling; whenever he would open his eyes, the corners of his vision swam in darkness as it crept up on him. He could feel a couple of ribs cracking, and severe bruising on his stomach is sure to form, but he didn't care. Blood pooled in his mouth, overflowing onto the cold concrete. He didn't yell out, nor scream for help. Because he knew, that he deserved it. As his body was kicked viciously, he was about to pass out at any minute.
But just before the blanket of death covered over his pathetic excuse for a body, they stopped. He heard the muffling of someone's voice, but couldn't understand what they were saying or where it was coming from. Was it his bullies? Gaara couldn't see at all out of his right eye, but he could just manage to see blurriness with shades of color in his left, cornered by darkness. It was the sound of hitting that made him flinch slightly or as much as his damaged body would consider a flinch, but it wasn't aiming towards him. Odd, he definitely deserved this punishment, but why was it happening to the others around him instead.
With his blackened right eye swollen shut, he peeked through his left eye when his hearing cleared enough for him to hear his abusers grunting from the hits they were receiving. All he could see was a blur of green, swiftly punching and kicking, with black belt qualities to, his bullies. He could hear the bodies of his abusers hit the ground near him with a thud.
The dim lights from the alleyway were his only source of light that was shining over him; when a shadowed figure blocked out the light in his vision, Gaara's eyes widened slightly. Were his tormentors back for more? Is this the end? Gaara shut his eyes, waiting for that fatal hit.
But all he received was a gentle hand on his aching shoulder. "H-Hey… Hey…! A-Are you alright?" That voice. It sounded so familiar. Gaara didn't make any sound or movement, nor did he open his eyes back up. He heard this other person gasp, then the hand that was on his shoulder slowly made his way down to his neck. Gaara knew it; he knew that he was going to snap his neck in half. There was no hope now. Gaara squeezed his eyes shut, preparing for the suddenness of his neck to be twisted until a satisfying crack was heard. But… He didn't do anything. Gaara could feel the others hand maneuver two fingers to his jugular, smoothing out the skin. What was he doing? "Forty… Five! Oh no!" Gaara could feel his body being moved onto his back slowly.
Now he was almost frightened to open his eyes, so he kept them shut. He could feel those large calloused hands gently caress his broken ribs, and his bruised and bleeding stomach. Then he felt something odd weigh upon his chest, he peeked through a closed lid, and saw a black bowl cut head resting on his chest lightly. His face was pointed down, so all he could see was the back of his head. Gaara slowly closed his eyes, and relaxed. At least he wasn't getting beaten any longer. "Eight?" he spoke again. Worry etched in his voice. The weight on his chest dissipated and soon he felt the figure beside him, begin to loom over his small frame. "Hey, are you awake? Are you conscious? Please, open your eyes if you can."
Then this other person did something that threw even Sabakuno Gaara off guard. He held his hand within his own strong, but gentle grip. His breath hitched, as he felt a pang of warmth explode where skin met skin. What was happening to him? Why was this other person doing this? Gently, the other squeezed Gaara's hand gently "Please, mimic my movements. Can you hear or feel me? If you can, please squeeze my hand back." Gaara's heart jumped in his chest, never in his life has he ever experienced this feeling. The pain that usually plagued his heart is now only a dull numbing sensation. He only thought that physical pain can override that ache. What did he do to him? Whatever it was, Gaara must know. He never wanted this to end. With a new feeling of nervousness and shyness mixed together, Gaara decided to give the man what he wanted.
With a dusting of a blush on pale cheeks, Gaara weakly squeezed this other man's hand to satisfy his want. He heard him gasp once more. With their hands still connected, he placed his other hand on Gaara's bruised cheek. Fingers gently traced out defined cheek bones, and smooth soft skin. As soon as those rough fingers touched Gaara's heated flesh, he jerked forcefully with a gasp. No pain was felt, just… this nameless feeling. It overpowered his heart, and heated his flesh unwillingly. What was happening to him? The gasp seemed to have frightened the other, as he jerked his hand away, like touching a hot stove. As soon as he left, the pain returned to his heart with a vengeance. So much in fact, that it made the small redhead groan in pain. He could feel curiosity radiate from the man next to him, as those fingers once again retraced its steps on the redheads face. This time Gaara was prepared for it, so the contact this time only made him blush a bright red.
He could feel the eyes of the other stare right at him, so with caution, he opened his eyes to look at his savior. Gaara could see his eyes widen when he opened his eyes to look at him. Once his vision cleared, he could see this other person "I knew it." he thought. The big, coal-like eyes, his black bowl cut, those unmistakable eyebrows, and of course that green jumpsuit that he always wore with those, awful looking, orange legwarmers. This had to be, none other than, Rock Lee. The school's "Handsome Devil of Konoha Leaf" he would proclaim himself. He knew for a fact that, he was a seventh degree black belt in Taekwondo and Karate. That is why no one ever bullied or bothered him, afraid that he was going to kick their ass. But just one question remained in the little redheads mind…
Why in the world did he come and rescue him?
Lee was shocked when those blackened lids opened to reveal a sparkling, aquatic diamond colored eyes. He cleared his throat and retreated his hands from the fading warmth of the redhead, much to Gaara's dismay and heartache. "M-My name is Rock Lee. I must get you to the hospital. Your heartbeat and respiration are extremely low. You have three broken ribs, and two are fractured. Your stomach is also heavily bruised and you may have some internal bleeding." Right, he had to focus on important matters, not how beautiful this boys eyes were.
The hospital? There was no way Gaara could afford medical care, he had no health insurance. And his family sure wasn't going to pay for his injuries. "N-N…" Gaara tried to speak, but it hurt. "W-What? I couldn't hear you. Could you say it again?" Gaara breathed in sharply to prepare for the pain in his chest "N-N… N-No…" Lee was taken back; he didn't want to go to the hospital? "Do you not trust me? I will take you to the hospital, you have to go. You are seriously injured. Please, you must go." He leaned forwards, closer to the injured boys face. "N-No… M-M… Money…" The leaf's eyes widened with sadness, he couldn't afford it?
With a strained groan, he tried his best to pull himself up to gather his books that lay scattered on the ground. He didn't expect this other man to help him any further. He also took note of his unconscious bullies lying next to him; Lee did a good job taking them down alone. Lee flinched at the groan the injured man emitted. "P-Please do not move! You will aggravate you wounds further!" Why did Lee care so much? He barely knew him at all. Gaara breathed in as deep as he could without feeling the sharp pain from his broken ribs, and sat up completely. He shut his eyes tightly as he crunched his bruised stomach in. "Home…" Luckily his backpack was still attached to his shoulders, so all he needed to do was to retrieve his books and he can begin to limp home, it was getting late.
Lee saw the redheads gaze lock onto the scattered books lying on the ground, so he decided out of common courtesy, to help him by picking the scattered books up for him. Gaara saw that Lee was picking up his books for him. He was actually helping him? Gaara stared at Lee, absolutely shocked. Lee finished picking up the remains of his books and walked back to the redhead. He placed the books in the boys backpack neatly and took it off of his shoulders, and put it on his own. Gaara grew confused, was he going to steal his belongings? He thought so; he knew that he had to pay for being so weak and for the protection of another. "I am sorry, but I cannot allow you to walk back by yourself. If you do not wish to go to the hospital, then I will just have to carry you back to your home." A gasp quickly left pale chapped lips, as he heard that. Was he hearing things? Did he just say that he was going to carry him?
Before he could even protest, he felt strong, gentle arms lift him from the ground bridle style. Weakly, Gaara flailed to get free. He felt strange, being carried like this, but felt a tinge of warmth burn on his cheeks. "Please, do not struggle. I will be gentle. Just lead me to where you live, so that I may care for you properly."
Even though he didn't know where he was going, Lee decided to walk anyways in some sort of direction. Gaara chest burned once more, like when Lee was holding his hand and touching his face. Only this time, it burned even more, and he felt better than he ever had in his life. For reasons unknown to him, Gaara's own instincts told him to cuddle closer to the warmth of the taller man he was being held by. Strangely enough, he actually listened to it. Gaara softly sighed and closed his eyes feeling absolutely worn out all of a sudden, from the sudden adrenaline rush crash. Lee looked down at the redhead and blushed lightly. Why the hell is he blushing? He shook his head, and concentrated on getting this injured boy home. "Where do you live?" He asked again with a gentle voice, in case the younger boy was trying to rest. Gaara opened his left eye slightly when Lee spoke. "…119… S-Suna-…-kagure…Lane…" Much to Gaara's amazement, Lee managed to hold him in place with one arm, while the other lifted between them to give him thumbs up. "Yosh! I will get you back home, safely! If I do not, then I will do 1,000 laps around the school track field in your honor, Mr.…?" He said with a flash of a toothy grin, and a questionable face at the end. Gaara looked the other way shyly, and then widened his eyes at the announcement. 1,000 laps! "S-Sabaku… G-G-Gaara… Sab-baku…" Just hearing his name, only seemed to make the lanky leaf even happier. "Yosh! Off we go then, Gaara!"
Lee decided not to run; he would probably injure Gaara further, if he were to jog his injuries. So Lee simple walked towards Sunakagure Lane, off in Fire County. Lee lived in Fire County too, but Sunakagure Lane was on the end of Fire County, and he lived on Konahagure Lane, which is the opposite of Sunakagure Lane. It would mean extra walking, but Lee saw it no more than a challenge to be completed. It wasn't like Lee to just abandon a fellow student in need, and he had no reason to ignore anyone who needed help. He has seen this student before in the hallways at school. He always looked so sad all the time; Lee doesn't ever recall ever seeing him happy, or smile for that matter. Lee didn't show it, but as soon as Gaara introduced himself, Lee knew exactly who he was. He had heard many cruel rumors about the infamous Sabakuno Gaara. Lee didn't believe in rumors; he only believed in them if they were told straight from the source of it. So Lee never judged anyone just by their appearance, only by their actions.
Gaara could feel himself drifting in and out of consciousness. He didn't know if it was that, or if he was just so exhausted; he hadn't slept in almost a month, his insomnia really kicking in at full force and his crash is happening now. But this time, he felt… something other than utter sadness as he drifted away. His heart felt light, and he felt lightheaded, was it the pain finally settling in? All he could do was sigh and close his eyes, snuggling closer to the older man's chest. If he listened carefully, he could hear the others strong heartbeat within his chest, lulling him further into slumber. Lee looked down at the redhead in his arms when he sighed softly. Now that Lee saw that Gaara was falling asleep, it was a good time to examine him carefully. Upon closer inspection of the interesting boy, Lee noticed what appeared to be eyeliner, thickened around those beautiful eyes. Beautiful? No… Gorgeous? Maybe… It was odd, but Lee, once again, never judged. Just look at himself in the mirror. Lee isn't really in the peak of fashion either.
If he listened carefully, he could hear his soft breath passing between two peach colored lips. It was slow and ragged, but it indicated life, and that is all he wanted to hear. His gaze turned to a, what appears to be a, scar on the left portion of his forehead. "…Love…?" Lee didn't realize he actually spoke out loud, but it really boggled his mind. Why would anyone get a tattoo on their forehead, much less one that indicated the kanji Japanese symbol for love? Actually, it suited him. This tattoo was red in color and matched perfectly with his auburn hair. It actually accentuated his pale figure, actually seeming to become luminescent due to the strong contrast of his eyes, and hair. Then that word popped in his mind once more, "beautiful." Lee shook his head almost violently, ridding him of the thought. "Preposterous. How could I ever think another man is beautiful? Women are supposed to be beautiful. Sakura is beautiful! Men are supposed to be handsome. Right?" He thought. But one look down at the innocent face of Sabakuno Gaara made his cheeks flush red, obviously proving him wrong in so many ways. "…R-Right…?" he spoke quietly out loud, to not wake the sleeping beauty in his arms.
Luckily, no one was on the streets this night. Lee didn't realize the sun went down after Lee found Gaara and rescued him. His father would have a fit when he came home late, but he had to help this poor boy out. He couldn't just leave him there alone to fend for himself. Eventually, he made it to the intersection that contained the street, by the name of Sunakagure Lane. "I made it!" Lee triumphed in his head, as he began to look for the house number 119 to safely return Gaara to his home as promised.
Four houses passed, and Lee spotted the small house sitting on the corner of the block. He walked up to the houses door, and spoke gently to the boy in his arms "Gaara… Hey Gaara… Your home…" His heart skipped a beat when those sapphire eyes peeked through black lids. "Hmm…?" Gaara groaned out softly, unhappy that he was woken up from his nap. He was having a good dream for the first time in his life. "Your home." Lee still spoke softly, but this time a little louder to accentuate his point. Gaara's eyes seemed to grow sadder to Lee. Was he not happy to return home? "Are you able to stand on your own?" Lee asked with concern, unwilling to let Gaara go if he didn't have to.
Gaara didn't want this feeling to end. He knew that if Lee left, then the feeling would leave as well. Gaara snuggled closer, and averted his eyes away from the dreaded house "I-I don't… know…" A large eyebrow rose slightly at the reluctant boy in his arms. He seemed to want to be held by the leaf. Like he didn't want Lee to leave. Gaara reached in his pocket and brought out his house keys. "The… Razorb-blade one… is the k-key…" Lee blinked at the jingling of keys being held in his face. With that magic of holding Gaara up with one hand, Lee gripped the keys in his right hand and flipped for the correct key to gain access to the home.
Lee inserted the key into the lock, listening to the tumblers activate, and with a simple turn to the right, the door was unlocked. He turned the handle, and opened the door wide to allow him to bring both of them in the house. Lee handed the keys back to Gaara, then re-gripped himself back to holding Gaara correctly, then entered the house. Lee gently kicked the front door closed behind him "Where is your room, so that I may lay you down." It was a one floor house, so he didn't know if his room was located in the basement (or if he even had a basement), or on this floor. A skinny, pale hand pointed towards Lee's right "T-That… Way… S-Second door… o-on the l-left…" As Lee started to walk, that frail hand flopped back down at his side.
Lee, successfully, found Gaara's room just as he proclaimed. He walked over to the bed, pulled the covers back, and placed Gaara down as gently as he could pulling the covers back over his battered and bruised body. "Is there anything I can get you? Water perhaps? Or maybe something to eat? Would you like me to treat your wounds?" Gaara saddened, greatly, at the loss of warmth from the other man; his heartache coming back with more pain than he could comprehend. "N-N… No… B-But… Thanks for the help, today… T-Thank you for… for saving me…" Thick brows furrowed with concern at the response, but then arched happily at the comment. "You're welcome, Gaara. I'll leave my cell phone number here, so if you need anything just call me, ok? You won't bother me at all, no matter the time." Lee searched for a pen and a piece of paper, eventually finding some, and wrote his name and number down neatly. He placed it near Gaara's reach so he may get to it if he is in need of assistance.
Gaara was flabbergasted. He couldn't comprehend the situation that was happening. He thought that, never in his life, was he ever going to meet someone who remotely cared about him. And now he is on the pathway to becoming acquaintances with this man? He thought he died and gone to euphoria. Lee gave his farewell, and turned to leave the house to return home to an angry dad. He locked the bottom lock, on the inside, so the doorknob will lock when the door shuts behind him when he leaves. He dashed home for the sake of his worried and angry father; thinking of a certain someone who currently plagued his mind. Would he be ok if he left him alone? Lee knew that he wouldn't sleep well tonight, too worried about a certain redhead, until he saw him again the next day, or received a text from him.
Gaara's heart snapped in half, when he heard the front door close. Would he ever see him again? The dark voices in his mind told him "not a chance". Sweet, salty tears leaked out of his eyes. The pain was back again, and he wanted it gone. This time, though, it hurt a lot worse. Luckily, he had a razorblade in his bedside table drawer. It wasn't his favorite blade, but it will do. He was too weak to get out of bed this time to go to the bathroom, so he pushed his blankets down, and pulled his left wrists in his field of vision. With a heavy sigh, he decided not to cut on the curvature of his wrists. Instead, he cut on the lower portion of his arm, towards the curve of the elbow. With that single cut, it seemed enough to satisfy him. Strangely on a regular basis, it would take at least three or four, but this time it only took one. One cut. One person. Lee…
With another heavy sigh, he flopped his bleeding arm down on the bed, and replaced his blade in its compartment of the drawer of his nightstand, and fell into a deep slumber. Dreaming of a certain leaf ninja who saved him from himself.
---
Gaara growled angrily, and walked out into his bedroom. He felt like writing his angst poetry right now. Most of his poems, he would let his hand do the writing, just jotting down feelings that rhyme. This poem, however, was intentional. It was pointing more towards a person, a certain leaf ninja who still plagued his thoughts after several weeks have passed since that incident. When finished, he grabbed his phone and flipped it open. He looked over at the forgotten piece of paper that Lee wrote, that was still on his nightstand. Grabbing it, he clicked in the numbers on his phone that matched the paper and saved it to "Rock Lee" on his phone. Quickly he wrote a text to the number "Hey, it's me Gaara. Meet me at the park in ten minutes." It was short and sweet. A minute later his phone buzzed, the text read "aaaalright… be right there." Gaara flipped his phone over, and grabbed his things, and most importantly, the poem, and he was out the door.
Lee raced to the park, eager to not keep Gaara waiting. Why did he text him all of a sudden? Was there something wrong? Lee mind was racing as too why he wanted to meet him after almost avoiding him since they first met. Luckily, he made it there first. And waited by the large oak tree that was plastered in the middle of the park.
Right when Gaara's hand touched the doorknob to leave, his phone buzzed again in his pocket. "I am near the oak tree, in the middle of the park." The text read. Gaara mentally sweat dropped. He knew that Lee was fast, but not that fast! Gaara closed his phone and hurried out the door.
Five minutes passed, and Lee finally saw a familiar sight approach him. Gaara slowly walked up to Lee, he didn't seem to be impatient, waiting for him to arrive. So he decided to tell him now why he brought him here. "Lee, I wanted to tell you something…" Lee nodded, listening carefully to what Gaara was going to say. "B-But, it is hard to describe…" He tilted his head slightly, but still nodded in confirmation.
"S-So I-I… Uh… Written it in a poem… for you…" Lee's eyes widened, a poem?
Rating: T
Seme/Uke: Lee-seme, Gaara-uke
Summary: PROLUGUE Short Poem, with short story. Gaara is on the verge of committing suicide. He has cut himself a countless amount of times. Now he only has one hope left, will Gaara's words sway Lee into loving him? LeeGaa angst sadness mentions of cutting rated.
Word Count: 4,879
Username: XxGaaraloverxX
"Why… Why does everyone hate me? What have I done wrong?"
The shine of a beautiful razorblade, held in the dimness of the bathroom light. It was his favorite. He had it specially made with his name engraved on it and the spaces in the middle of it were cut out in the shape of a heart. Ironic, from the current position he is in.
Sabakuno Gaara, was the definition of an "Emo" or an emotional person. Absolutely, no one liked him. They all considered him a freak, Goth, Emo… Even a monster. Throughout his life, he has been treated like this. Receiving no love, and always being alone. He cannot remember the last time he had ever felt… happy. Happiness is foreign, never to be achieved, for he has only known heartache and sadness. The emotional pain hurts so much. He has no friends, his family hates him, and everyone else seems to as well. He doesn't understand. How can people be so cruel? What has he ever done to deserve such hatred towards him? All he ever wanted was someone to just say "He is alright" instead of the hateful comments always aimed at him. Not a single person ever stood up to him and wanted to chat or hang out. They all just make fun of him, and hurt him in ways no one could ever imagine.
The only way to relieve this emotional pain in Gaara's mind is to counteract it with physical pain. How so? Does he work out? Not even close. He is already extremely underweight as it is. Weighing at only 87 pounds, Gaara is too depressed to eat most of the time. Some of the times, he even punishes himself for being so worthless, by not eating for the entire day; though he already missed yesterday's meals as well. His only true way of relief, is to use that shining blade he is currently holding.
Gaara stood in front of his sink, his razorblade in his right hand. He took a moment to gaze in the mirror at himself; doing so just made him burst into tears. The only word that came into mind; UGLY. "Why am I so ugly? Why am I so ugly!" Quiet sobs echoed in the small bathroom of his small one bedroom home. Black tears spilled into the sink; eyeliner currently being smeared from the salty wet tears that stained his face. He had to look away; he couldn't stand to look at such a hideous face any longer. His heart burned with ache, watching as black lines made their way into the drain of his sink.
Bringing his attention to his left arm instead, he gazed at his tattered and scarred arm. Crooked lines littered his wrist from the bottom of his palm to the curve of his elbow. To others it would probably be considered a massacre, to Gaara, it is considered art. To him, every little cut and every single scar tells a story. He put his precious razorblade down, temporarily, inside of his personalized case. With gentle fingers, he traced some of the scars that defined his arm. His scars looked almost luminescent, compared to his already extremely pale figure.
He briefly traced over a certain scar more towards his elbow; he remembers everything that happened with each and every new scar he obtained. Most of the time it was from others that made him feel pathetic, so he would punish himself. This one, however, was from high school. He was bullied; of course, every single time he was he would take it to heart. Everything that the bully said, he would believe that it was true. Books would be knocked from his hands; he would be shoved into lockers, and tripped on occasion. Most of the time though it was just others making fun of him. And every single time, he would cut himself. A single strait line across his wrists. Depending on how upset he is, depends on how much he would cut. The most he has ever cut in a single night was 23 horizontal cuts scattered on his arms. Most would be on his left, but if there was no more room, he would shakily cut with his left hand; which would usually become messy, since he is right handed.
---
He was walking home from school; he cannot take the bus any longer because of no one sitting next to or near him, he became a problem so he decided to walk home, which is the last stop from the bus *the furthest stop from the school*. His frail, weak body would carry 1/3rd of his weight in books all the way home. On this one evening, it changed him forever.
While walking through the city streets, he was yanked into an alleyway, making him drop all of his books and tearing his book bag strap slightly from the suddenness of the tug. All he had time for was to gasp, and look up into the other persons eyes just long enough before a fist soon clouded his vision. All it took was one good hit in the face, and he was down for the count. He hadn't eaten for three days prior, so he was already weak enough. Even as his lithe form fell to the ground, two others started to kick him ferociously in his sides, chest, and face. His hearing was fading, and the sounds of hitting were muffling; whenever he would open his eyes, the corners of his vision swam in darkness as it crept up on him. He could feel a couple of ribs cracking, and severe bruising on his stomach is sure to form, but he didn't care. Blood pooled in his mouth, overflowing onto the cold concrete. He didn't yell out, nor scream for help. Because he knew, that he deserved it. As his body was kicked viciously, he was about to pass out at any minute.
But just before the blanket of death covered over his pathetic excuse for a body, they stopped. He heard the muffling of someone's voice, but couldn't understand what they were saying or where it was coming from. Was it his bullies? Gaara couldn't see at all out of his right eye, but he could just manage to see blurriness with shades of color in his left, cornered by darkness. It was the sound of hitting that made him flinch slightly or as much as his damaged body would consider a flinch, but it wasn't aiming towards him. Odd, he definitely deserved this punishment, but why was it happening to the others around him instead.
With his blackened right eye swollen shut, he peeked through his left eye when his hearing cleared enough for him to hear his abusers grunting from the hits they were receiving. All he could see was a blur of green, swiftly punching and kicking, with black belt qualities to, his bullies. He could hear the bodies of his abusers hit the ground near him with a thud.
The dim lights from the alleyway were his only source of light that was shining over him; when a shadowed figure blocked out the light in his vision, Gaara's eyes widened slightly. Were his tormentors back for more? Is this the end? Gaara shut his eyes, waiting for that fatal hit.
But all he received was a gentle hand on his aching shoulder. "H-Hey… Hey…! A-Are you alright?" That voice. It sounded so familiar. Gaara didn't make any sound or movement, nor did he open his eyes back up. He heard this other person gasp, then the hand that was on his shoulder slowly made his way down to his neck. Gaara knew it; he knew that he was going to snap his neck in half. There was no hope now. Gaara squeezed his eyes shut, preparing for the suddenness of his neck to be twisted until a satisfying crack was heard. But… He didn't do anything. Gaara could feel the others hand maneuver two fingers to his jugular, smoothing out the skin. What was he doing? "Forty… Five! Oh no!" Gaara could feel his body being moved onto his back slowly.
Now he was almost frightened to open his eyes, so he kept them shut. He could feel those large calloused hands gently caress his broken ribs, and his bruised and bleeding stomach. Then he felt something odd weigh upon his chest, he peeked through a closed lid, and saw a black bowl cut head resting on his chest lightly. His face was pointed down, so all he could see was the back of his head. Gaara slowly closed his eyes, and relaxed. At least he wasn't getting beaten any longer. "Eight?" he spoke again. Worry etched in his voice. The weight on his chest dissipated and soon he felt the figure beside him, begin to loom over his small frame. "Hey, are you awake? Are you conscious? Please, open your eyes if you can."
Then this other person did something that threw even Sabakuno Gaara off guard. He held his hand within his own strong, but gentle grip. His breath hitched, as he felt a pang of warmth explode where skin met skin. What was happening to him? Why was this other person doing this? Gently, the other squeezed Gaara's hand gently "Please, mimic my movements. Can you hear or feel me? If you can, please squeeze my hand back." Gaara's heart jumped in his chest, never in his life has he ever experienced this feeling. The pain that usually plagued his heart is now only a dull numbing sensation. He only thought that physical pain can override that ache. What did he do to him? Whatever it was, Gaara must know. He never wanted this to end. With a new feeling of nervousness and shyness mixed together, Gaara decided to give the man what he wanted.
With a dusting of a blush on pale cheeks, Gaara weakly squeezed this other man's hand to satisfy his want. He heard him gasp once more. With their hands still connected, he placed his other hand on Gaara's bruised cheek. Fingers gently traced out defined cheek bones, and smooth soft skin. As soon as those rough fingers touched Gaara's heated flesh, he jerked forcefully with a gasp. No pain was felt, just… this nameless feeling. It overpowered his heart, and heated his flesh unwillingly. What was happening to him? The gasp seemed to have frightened the other, as he jerked his hand away, like touching a hot stove. As soon as he left, the pain returned to his heart with a vengeance. So much in fact, that it made the small redhead groan in pain. He could feel curiosity radiate from the man next to him, as those fingers once again retraced its steps on the redheads face. This time Gaara was prepared for it, so the contact this time only made him blush a bright red.
He could feel the eyes of the other stare right at him, so with caution, he opened his eyes to look at his savior. Gaara could see his eyes widen when he opened his eyes to look at him. Once his vision cleared, he could see this other person "I knew it." he thought. The big, coal-like eyes, his black bowl cut, those unmistakable eyebrows, and of course that green jumpsuit that he always wore with those, awful looking, orange legwarmers. This had to be, none other than, Rock Lee. The school's "Handsome Devil of Konoha Leaf" he would proclaim himself. He knew for a fact that, he was a seventh degree black belt in Taekwondo and Karate. That is why no one ever bullied or bothered him, afraid that he was going to kick their ass. But just one question remained in the little redheads mind…
Why in the world did he come and rescue him?
Lee was shocked when those blackened lids opened to reveal a sparkling, aquatic diamond colored eyes. He cleared his throat and retreated his hands from the fading warmth of the redhead, much to Gaara's dismay and heartache. "M-My name is Rock Lee. I must get you to the hospital. Your heartbeat and respiration are extremely low. You have three broken ribs, and two are fractured. Your stomach is also heavily bruised and you may have some internal bleeding." Right, he had to focus on important matters, not how beautiful this boys eyes were.
The hospital? There was no way Gaara could afford medical care, he had no health insurance. And his family sure wasn't going to pay for his injuries. "N-N…" Gaara tried to speak, but it hurt. "W-What? I couldn't hear you. Could you say it again?" Gaara breathed in sharply to prepare for the pain in his chest "N-N… N-No…" Lee was taken back; he didn't want to go to the hospital? "Do you not trust me? I will take you to the hospital, you have to go. You are seriously injured. Please, you must go." He leaned forwards, closer to the injured boys face. "N-No… M-M… Money…" The leaf's eyes widened with sadness, he couldn't afford it?
With a strained groan, he tried his best to pull himself up to gather his books that lay scattered on the ground. He didn't expect this other man to help him any further. He also took note of his unconscious bullies lying next to him; Lee did a good job taking them down alone. Lee flinched at the groan the injured man emitted. "P-Please do not move! You will aggravate you wounds further!" Why did Lee care so much? He barely knew him at all. Gaara breathed in as deep as he could without feeling the sharp pain from his broken ribs, and sat up completely. He shut his eyes tightly as he crunched his bruised stomach in. "Home…" Luckily his backpack was still attached to his shoulders, so all he needed to do was to retrieve his books and he can begin to limp home, it was getting late.
Lee saw the redheads gaze lock onto the scattered books lying on the ground, so he decided out of common courtesy, to help him by picking the scattered books up for him. Gaara saw that Lee was picking up his books for him. He was actually helping him? Gaara stared at Lee, absolutely shocked. Lee finished picking up the remains of his books and walked back to the redhead. He placed the books in the boys backpack neatly and took it off of his shoulders, and put it on his own. Gaara grew confused, was he going to steal his belongings? He thought so; he knew that he had to pay for being so weak and for the protection of another. "I am sorry, but I cannot allow you to walk back by yourself. If you do not wish to go to the hospital, then I will just have to carry you back to your home." A gasp quickly left pale chapped lips, as he heard that. Was he hearing things? Did he just say that he was going to carry him?
Before he could even protest, he felt strong, gentle arms lift him from the ground bridle style. Weakly, Gaara flailed to get free. He felt strange, being carried like this, but felt a tinge of warmth burn on his cheeks. "Please, do not struggle. I will be gentle. Just lead me to where you live, so that I may care for you properly."
Even though he didn't know where he was going, Lee decided to walk anyways in some sort of direction. Gaara chest burned once more, like when Lee was holding his hand and touching his face. Only this time, it burned even more, and he felt better than he ever had in his life. For reasons unknown to him, Gaara's own instincts told him to cuddle closer to the warmth of the taller man he was being held by. Strangely enough, he actually listened to it. Gaara softly sighed and closed his eyes feeling absolutely worn out all of a sudden, from the sudden adrenaline rush crash. Lee looked down at the redhead and blushed lightly. Why the hell is he blushing? He shook his head, and concentrated on getting this injured boy home. "Where do you live?" He asked again with a gentle voice, in case the younger boy was trying to rest. Gaara opened his left eye slightly when Lee spoke. "…119… S-Suna-…-kagure…Lane…" Much to Gaara's amazement, Lee managed to hold him in place with one arm, while the other lifted between them to give him thumbs up. "Yosh! I will get you back home, safely! If I do not, then I will do 1,000 laps around the school track field in your honor, Mr.…?" He said with a flash of a toothy grin, and a questionable face at the end. Gaara looked the other way shyly, and then widened his eyes at the announcement. 1,000 laps! "S-Sabaku… G-G-Gaara… Sab-baku…" Just hearing his name, only seemed to make the lanky leaf even happier. "Yosh! Off we go then, Gaara!"
Lee decided not to run; he would probably injure Gaara further, if he were to jog his injuries. So Lee simple walked towards Sunakagure Lane, off in Fire County. Lee lived in Fire County too, but Sunakagure Lane was on the end of Fire County, and he lived on Konahagure Lane, which is the opposite of Sunakagure Lane. It would mean extra walking, but Lee saw it no more than a challenge to be completed. It wasn't like Lee to just abandon a fellow student in need, and he had no reason to ignore anyone who needed help. He has seen this student before in the hallways at school. He always looked so sad all the time; Lee doesn't ever recall ever seeing him happy, or smile for that matter. Lee didn't show it, but as soon as Gaara introduced himself, Lee knew exactly who he was. He had heard many cruel rumors about the infamous Sabakuno Gaara. Lee didn't believe in rumors; he only believed in them if they were told straight from the source of it. So Lee never judged anyone just by their appearance, only by their actions.
Gaara could feel himself drifting in and out of consciousness. He didn't know if it was that, or if he was just so exhausted; he hadn't slept in almost a month, his insomnia really kicking in at full force and his crash is happening now. But this time, he felt… something other than utter sadness as he drifted away. His heart felt light, and he felt lightheaded, was it the pain finally settling in? All he could do was sigh and close his eyes, snuggling closer to the older man's chest. If he listened carefully, he could hear the others strong heartbeat within his chest, lulling him further into slumber. Lee looked down at the redhead in his arms when he sighed softly. Now that Lee saw that Gaara was falling asleep, it was a good time to examine him carefully. Upon closer inspection of the interesting boy, Lee noticed what appeared to be eyeliner, thickened around those beautiful eyes. Beautiful? No… Gorgeous? Maybe… It was odd, but Lee, once again, never judged. Just look at himself in the mirror. Lee isn't really in the peak of fashion either.
If he listened carefully, he could hear his soft breath passing between two peach colored lips. It was slow and ragged, but it indicated life, and that is all he wanted to hear. His gaze turned to a, what appears to be a, scar on the left portion of his forehead. "…Love…?" Lee didn't realize he actually spoke out loud, but it really boggled his mind. Why would anyone get a tattoo on their forehead, much less one that indicated the kanji Japanese symbol for love? Actually, it suited him. This tattoo was red in color and matched perfectly with his auburn hair. It actually accentuated his pale figure, actually seeming to become luminescent due to the strong contrast of his eyes, and hair. Then that word popped in his mind once more, "beautiful." Lee shook his head almost violently, ridding him of the thought. "Preposterous. How could I ever think another man is beautiful? Women are supposed to be beautiful. Sakura is beautiful! Men are supposed to be handsome. Right?" He thought. But one look down at the innocent face of Sabakuno Gaara made his cheeks flush red, obviously proving him wrong in so many ways. "…R-Right…?" he spoke quietly out loud, to not wake the sleeping beauty in his arms.
Luckily, no one was on the streets this night. Lee didn't realize the sun went down after Lee found Gaara and rescued him. His father would have a fit when he came home late, but he had to help this poor boy out. He couldn't just leave him there alone to fend for himself. Eventually, he made it to the intersection that contained the street, by the name of Sunakagure Lane. "I made it!" Lee triumphed in his head, as he began to look for the house number 119 to safely return Gaara to his home as promised.
Four houses passed, and Lee spotted the small house sitting on the corner of the block. He walked up to the houses door, and spoke gently to the boy in his arms "Gaara… Hey Gaara… Your home…" His heart skipped a beat when those sapphire eyes peeked through black lids. "Hmm…?" Gaara groaned out softly, unhappy that he was woken up from his nap. He was having a good dream for the first time in his life. "Your home." Lee still spoke softly, but this time a little louder to accentuate his point. Gaara's eyes seemed to grow sadder to Lee. Was he not happy to return home? "Are you able to stand on your own?" Lee asked with concern, unwilling to let Gaara go if he didn't have to.
Gaara didn't want this feeling to end. He knew that if Lee left, then the feeling would leave as well. Gaara snuggled closer, and averted his eyes away from the dreaded house "I-I don't… know…" A large eyebrow rose slightly at the reluctant boy in his arms. He seemed to want to be held by the leaf. Like he didn't want Lee to leave. Gaara reached in his pocket and brought out his house keys. "The… Razorb-blade one… is the k-key…" Lee blinked at the jingling of keys being held in his face. With that magic of holding Gaara up with one hand, Lee gripped the keys in his right hand and flipped for the correct key to gain access to the home.
Lee inserted the key into the lock, listening to the tumblers activate, and with a simple turn to the right, the door was unlocked. He turned the handle, and opened the door wide to allow him to bring both of them in the house. Lee handed the keys back to Gaara, then re-gripped himself back to holding Gaara correctly, then entered the house. Lee gently kicked the front door closed behind him "Where is your room, so that I may lay you down." It was a one floor house, so he didn't know if his room was located in the basement (or if he even had a basement), or on this floor. A skinny, pale hand pointed towards Lee's right "T-That… Way… S-Second door… o-on the l-left…" As Lee started to walk, that frail hand flopped back down at his side.
Lee, successfully, found Gaara's room just as he proclaimed. He walked over to the bed, pulled the covers back, and placed Gaara down as gently as he could pulling the covers back over his battered and bruised body. "Is there anything I can get you? Water perhaps? Or maybe something to eat? Would you like me to treat your wounds?" Gaara saddened, greatly, at the loss of warmth from the other man; his heartache coming back with more pain than he could comprehend. "N-N… No… B-But… Thanks for the help, today… T-Thank you for… for saving me…" Thick brows furrowed with concern at the response, but then arched happily at the comment. "You're welcome, Gaara. I'll leave my cell phone number here, so if you need anything just call me, ok? You won't bother me at all, no matter the time." Lee searched for a pen and a piece of paper, eventually finding some, and wrote his name and number down neatly. He placed it near Gaara's reach so he may get to it if he is in need of assistance.
Gaara was flabbergasted. He couldn't comprehend the situation that was happening. He thought that, never in his life, was he ever going to meet someone who remotely cared about him. And now he is on the pathway to becoming acquaintances with this man? He thought he died and gone to euphoria. Lee gave his farewell, and turned to leave the house to return home to an angry dad. He locked the bottom lock, on the inside, so the doorknob will lock when the door shuts behind him when he leaves. He dashed home for the sake of his worried and angry father; thinking of a certain someone who currently plagued his mind. Would he be ok if he left him alone? Lee knew that he wouldn't sleep well tonight, too worried about a certain redhead, until he saw him again the next day, or received a text from him.
Gaara's heart snapped in half, when he heard the front door close. Would he ever see him again? The dark voices in his mind told him "not a chance". Sweet, salty tears leaked out of his eyes. The pain was back again, and he wanted it gone. This time, though, it hurt a lot worse. Luckily, he had a razorblade in his bedside table drawer. It wasn't his favorite blade, but it will do. He was too weak to get out of bed this time to go to the bathroom, so he pushed his blankets down, and pulled his left wrists in his field of vision. With a heavy sigh, he decided not to cut on the curvature of his wrists. Instead, he cut on the lower portion of his arm, towards the curve of the elbow. With that single cut, it seemed enough to satisfy him. Strangely on a regular basis, it would take at least three or four, but this time it only took one. One cut. One person. Lee…
With another heavy sigh, he flopped his bleeding arm down on the bed, and replaced his blade in its compartment of the drawer of his nightstand, and fell into a deep slumber. Dreaming of a certain leaf ninja who saved him from himself.
---
Gaara growled angrily, and walked out into his bedroom. He felt like writing his angst poetry right now. Most of his poems, he would let his hand do the writing, just jotting down feelings that rhyme. This poem, however, was intentional. It was pointing more towards a person, a certain leaf ninja who still plagued his thoughts after several weeks have passed since that incident. When finished, he grabbed his phone and flipped it open. He looked over at the forgotten piece of paper that Lee wrote, that was still on his nightstand. Grabbing it, he clicked in the numbers on his phone that matched the paper and saved it to "Rock Lee" on his phone. Quickly he wrote a text to the number "Hey, it's me Gaara. Meet me at the park in ten minutes." It was short and sweet. A minute later his phone buzzed, the text read "aaaalright… be right there." Gaara flipped his phone over, and grabbed his things, and most importantly, the poem, and he was out the door.
Lee raced to the park, eager to not keep Gaara waiting. Why did he text him all of a sudden? Was there something wrong? Lee mind was racing as too why he wanted to meet him after almost avoiding him since they first met. Luckily, he made it there first. And waited by the large oak tree that was plastered in the middle of the park.
Right when Gaara's hand touched the doorknob to leave, his phone buzzed again in his pocket. "I am near the oak tree, in the middle of the park." The text read. Gaara mentally sweat dropped. He knew that Lee was fast, but not that fast! Gaara closed his phone and hurried out the door.
Five minutes passed, and Lee finally saw a familiar sight approach him. Gaara slowly walked up to Lee, he didn't seem to be impatient, waiting for him to arrive. So he decided to tell him now why he brought him here. "Lee, I wanted to tell you something…" Lee nodded, listening carefully to what Gaara was going to say. "B-But, it is hard to describe…" He tilted his head slightly, but still nodded in confirmation.
"S-So I-I… Uh… Written it in a poem… for you…" Lee's eyes widened, a poem?