help me!!!! (feedback is greatly appreciated)
Memoirs, "On Being..." final piece. Intro:
On Being aLIVe:
The Growths and Changes of an Adolecense
I sit down to write and think, surely I cannot write this without sounding pretentious and cliche. However, at this moment, I cannot worry about how I sound, only what I am. I am alive. I am Olivia Ananda Lee. I am seventeen years old and I am in the eleventh grade. I am from Los Angeles, California. I am living in Brooklyn, New York. I am the daughter of Robin and David Lee. I am a Liv.
On the outside, my eyes are coffee colored, my skin an olive tone, and these days my hair has tendend to be a golden blonde (though it has often changed). I am 5’2”, size 7 1/2 shoe, size 34C bra, one-hundred and twenty pounds. This is what I look like.
It would hardly make sense to try to explain what I am like on the inside. Not only because I am not quite sure myself, but also because the way people percieve other people can be completely different from how one percieves herself. But this is what I do know: My mind sits on a scale keeping balance between yin and yang. Almost everything about me is a walking contradiction. I am both selfish and giving. I seek peace and then rage war. I am both self-concious and vain. Depending on time of day, group of people, or location I can either be introverted or extroverted. I’ll rant about poverty in underdeveloped countries and then spend ten dollars on lunch. I like to travel but I always want to go home. I am obcessed with eating healthy but I can’t stop eating sweets. I love living in the city but I hate everything about it. I dispise stereotypes, labels, and judgemental people, but I find myself doing all three constantly. I am annoyed by qualities in other people that I often find in myself. This is how I am.
My future stands on four possible pillars: photography, fashion, charity work, and writing. Four things I am most passionate about. I define myself not by how they differ, but by how I can incoorporate them all together. I am a mixer, I like to mix things, I can never just choose one thing. I’m extremely indecisive, I go in circles trying to pick things. My favorite color is purple-sparkly. In my mind, the two without each other would be like separating Bonnie and Clyde-it just isn’t right. I love my friends to death, for without them I’d be lost. I like to party and I like to achieve in all aspects of my life. I like to pride myself on maintaining a strong balance between the two. This is what I like.
However, I wasn’t always like this. I have zig-zagged, done tail spins, and flipped upside down. Years of growth and change has shaped my appearance, personality, and situations. I feel as though my growths and changes started at the beginning of adolecense. Before middle school I was always predominatly the same which is why I have chosen not to include the years of my childhood to this piece. They seem irrelevent and distant, hardly a part of who I am now.
-loveliv
On Being aLIVe:
The Growths and Changes of an Adolecense
I sit down to write and think, surely I cannot write this without sounding pretentious and cliche. However, at this moment, I cannot worry about how I sound, only what I am. I am alive. I am Olivia Ananda Lee. I am seventeen years old and I am in the eleventh grade. I am from Los Angeles, California. I am living in Brooklyn, New York. I am the daughter of Robin and David Lee. I am a Liv.
On the outside, my eyes are coffee colored, my skin an olive tone, and these days my hair has tendend to be a golden blonde (though it has often changed). I am 5’2”, size 7 1/2 shoe, size 34C bra, one-hundred and twenty pounds. This is what I look like.
It would hardly make sense to try to explain what I am like on the inside. Not only because I am not quite sure myself, but also because the way people percieve other people can be completely different from how one percieves herself. But this is what I do know: My mind sits on a scale keeping balance between yin and yang. Almost everything about me is a walking contradiction. I am both selfish and giving. I seek peace and then rage war. I am both self-concious and vain. Depending on time of day, group of people, or location I can either be introverted or extroverted. I’ll rant about poverty in underdeveloped countries and then spend ten dollars on lunch. I like to travel but I always want to go home. I am obcessed with eating healthy but I can’t stop eating sweets. I love living in the city but I hate everything about it. I dispise stereotypes, labels, and judgemental people, but I find myself doing all three constantly. I am annoyed by qualities in other people that I often find in myself. This is how I am.
My future stands on four possible pillars: photography, fashion, charity work, and writing. Four things I am most passionate about. I define myself not by how they differ, but by how I can incoorporate them all together. I am a mixer, I like to mix things, I can never just choose one thing. I’m extremely indecisive, I go in circles trying to pick things. My favorite color is purple-sparkly. In my mind, the two without each other would be like separating Bonnie and Clyde-it just isn’t right. I love my friends to death, for without them I’d be lost. I like to party and I like to achieve in all aspects of my life. I like to pride myself on maintaining a strong balance between the two. This is what I like.
However, I wasn’t always like this. I have zig-zagged, done tail spins, and flipped upside down. Years of growth and change has shaped my appearance, personality, and situations. I feel as though my growths and changes started at the beginning of adolecense. Before middle school I was always predominatly the same which is why I have chosen not to include the years of my childhood to this piece. They seem irrelevent and distant, hardly a part of who I am now.
-loveliv