The only thing I write about now
I don't like being alone. When I'm out doing things with someone, anyone, I don't have time to drift off into my thoughts. But when I'm alone at night, I start thinking and it starts to make me sad. No, I don't think I'm as fucked up as I was when she broke up with me. I barely ate and slept then. I think I really could have been clinically proven to be depressed but I'm over that now. Now, I just get really intense moments of sadness and anger. Angry cause she spends all her time with that fucker's family and writing to that fucker... probably thinking about that fucker and how they're gonna spend their lives together. Yes, Mary Anna, he is a fucker to me. Nothing personal against him; I'm sure he's a great guy, why else would so many people like him?
I digress.
And I get sad because there was a time when she wanted to be with me. When she gave a damn about my day and when talking to me would make her happy. I'm sad at what I lost. I'm sad at the memories that will never be. The future that I wish would exist won't anymore. My desire for the next day to pass is gone cause she won't be apart of that day... at least not the way I want her to be.
Not all is gloomy and desolate. I spent a lot of time with the family today. We went to this Korean part of Atlanta and I got a haircut there. I officially have anime hair now. The trick, however, is seeing if I can duplicate what the stylist did on a daily basis. I also got a new pair of black Pumas, the perfect pair if you will. See, whenever I go to a mall or some shopping place, I always look for a pair of Pumas. Why? Cause it's my favorite shoe brand. I have no idea why. I remember looking up soccer cleats one summer in high school and saw some Pumas. I fell in love with the design and wanted to wear some on a regular basis. I just wanted something casual yet fashionable. It fairly plain but with enough flare to be noticeable. I'm looking at them right now. They just win. They are teh win.
I digress.
And I get sad because there was a time when she wanted to be with me. When she gave a damn about my day and when talking to me would make her happy. I'm sad at what I lost. I'm sad at the memories that will never be. The future that I wish would exist won't anymore. My desire for the next day to pass is gone cause she won't be apart of that day... at least not the way I want her to be.
Not all is gloomy and desolate. I spent a lot of time with the family today. We went to this Korean part of Atlanta and I got a haircut there. I officially have anime hair now. The trick, however, is seeing if I can duplicate what the stylist did on a daily basis. I also got a new pair of black Pumas, the perfect pair if you will. See, whenever I go to a mall or some shopping place, I always look for a pair of Pumas. Why? Cause it's my favorite shoe brand. I have no idea why. I remember looking up soccer cleats one summer in high school and saw some Pumas. I fell in love with the design and wanted to wear some on a regular basis. I just wanted something casual yet fashionable. It fairly plain but with enough flare to be noticeable. I'm looking at them right now. They just win. They are teh win.