Hi . . .
I can't help but realize that I love Sierra. I can't get around it. I would like to move on, but like everything it takes time. Also, I have nothing to move on to. It all sucks ass. I want to see Sierra really bad, or just talk to her. If I was with her tonight at the fireworks I would be in heaven. I don't know how I could be happier, but it wont be happening. I will probably just go by myself, and look at the cool colors, but then come back to reality, and look next to me to see no one with me. Some life . . . I hate being alone more than anything, my biggest fears are living a life alone, and rejection. I need to stop trying for anyone, everyone sucks. I cannot find that one girl that I will love and she will love me back forever. I know I am only 17, but I look at a lot of my friends and see they have a girlfriend, or the girls have their boyfriends. They all have someone. I have no one. I hate it . . . :(. I am happy for all of them, but why can't god give me a friggen chance to be with someone for a long ass time. To take a quote from a movie, Dazed and Confused "If I am supose to refer these years as the best times of my life, remind me to kill myself." To everyone out there who reads these posts. You know I love Sierra, she has been in just about everyone of my posts. She is a key person to my life. I would do just about anything to see her happy, but inturn make myself happy too. I want to be with her, I want to spend the rest of my life with her. She has 3 years left in high school, I have 1. I am going to try and keep intouch with her, and hopfully after high school something will happen and we will end up being together and getting married. I am just hoping and dreaming here, lol. Who knows what will happen. Maybe I will die before I graduate, who knows. All I know is, what I would like to happen. And yeah, lol . . . Well, I am out of things to say . . . this will be my last post for a while, maybe like a week or so, unless something really awesome happens. Right so . . . C-ya, Sierra I love you. *sigh*