(no subject)
I've been thinking a lot about god lately. I know the topic is overdone and so typical to think about but I was always uncomfortable with making a decision about the existence or non existence of a supreme entity . I hate saying for sure that a good or gods doesn't exist even if I know that its very unlikely.
What I've really been thinking about lately is why I feel this way. Why i can't commit one way or another. I think I've figured it out. Deep inside I want to believe. I want to know that there something else other than this, that my choices are pre-made, and that everything is meant for something. I don't want to think that all this is it, I don't want to know that all the bad choices and my faults are mine and only mine.
I realize that these reasons are why the idea of a supreme being originated . I know inside that one doesn't exist , that this is all I may ever get.
I always admired those who had faith ( not blind faith or extremist views)because it gave them something beyond themselves. I've always wanted that comfort for myself.
This year I've met a lot of different people and learned a lot about different religious beliefs and met a lot of level minded, intelligent people who believe in something more and it makes me feel better to know that they have found that comfort, something to believe in.
I always used to say that I had faith, not in god but in myself, in the idea of being a good person and doing the right thing for me . I feel like I've lost that faith somewhere. I don't know when but I feel its gone. Maybe , because I've had some bad experiences and havn't dealt with them in a way that I feel is right or maybe because I've lost faith in other people. I really don't know.
What I've really been thinking about lately is why I feel this way. Why i can't commit one way or another. I think I've figured it out. Deep inside I want to believe. I want to know that there something else other than this, that my choices are pre-made, and that everything is meant for something. I don't want to think that all this is it, I don't want to know that all the bad choices and my faults are mine and only mine.
I realize that these reasons are why the idea of a supreme being originated . I know inside that one doesn't exist , that this is all I may ever get.
I always admired those who had faith ( not blind faith or extremist views)because it gave them something beyond themselves. I've always wanted that comfort for myself.
This year I've met a lot of different people and learned a lot about different religious beliefs and met a lot of level minded, intelligent people who believe in something more and it makes me feel better to know that they have found that comfort, something to believe in.
I always used to say that I had faith, not in god but in myself, in the idea of being a good person and doing the right thing for me . I feel like I've lost that faith somewhere. I don't know when but I feel its gone. Maybe , because I've had some bad experiences and havn't dealt with them in a way that I feel is right or maybe because I've lost faith in other people. I really don't know.