(no subject)
things are frusterating :-\ i really really like a gay chick.. the frusterating part is i don't want her to be a lesbian. cuz if she wasn't, then she'd like me back. today was the most wonderfull day of my life.. i woke up at malika's house after getting super cross faded, took becca, marty, and daniel back to becca's house after eating at carl's jr. went home for like 20 minutes til marideth (sp?) called.. people call her moe.. but she hates that name, so i'm calling her marideth from now on.. besides, i think it's prettier than 'moe' .. so anyway, she called and told me she really wanted to hang out with me, and i gladly agreed. i like her alot. we get to my house, and we talk out side while she has a cigarette.. and she said something to me that meant so much to me.. she said that because of our little talk the night before last, that she's going to stop doing oxy-cotton because she doesn't want to lose me as a friend.. ok 1st of all.. i never gave her any insinuation that i wouldn't be her friend if she did that again. and 2nd, we've only hung out 5 times total.. she's that new of a friend, and she's willing to stop doing hard drugs for a new friendship.. to me.. that meant so much. i was like, speachless, i wanted to cry. hearing that made me feel so.. i don't know... significant? ...important? both? we talked a lot, we made eachother laugh a lot. and we sat on the couch just thinking of things to do today, and all of a sudden i told her to get up cuz we're leaving, it took her by surprise, i told her we were going to the beach.
we stopped at the cheese factory and bought honey sticks chocolate and a soda and then we walked out and she asked me 'what's the fastest you've ever driven on this road?' and i responded with 'umm 120 easy.. maybe more?' and she took me accross the street to this cross on a post and said ' my friend died here from speeding at 90 miles an hour.. i was speechless. for those who know me and my driving.. i'm ALWAYS in control, no matter how fast i go, i am ALWAYS in control. anyways, after that we headed towards the beach, we talked a lot and had a lot of fun on the ride up there, we seem to never run out of things to talk about. when we got there, no one was there, and it was windier than all hell.. i grabbed some blankets from the car and wrapped one around her.. and put one around myself as well. we walked to look at the water.. and i had an idea.. there's sand dunes everywhere at north beach, i took her to a sand dune that was covored in ice plants that were half blooming (very beautifull) and we lied in this ditch in the sand dune, that was kinda sheltered from the wind if we were laying down flat.. i laid a blanket down and we both lied down on it.. and put the other blanket on top of us and we cuddled for over an hour.. it felt so good to hold her in my arms.. it was so wonderfull.. i seriously didn't want it to end.. after a while of small talk and cuddling, we went home and talked the whole time ( since i don't have a radio) and i gotta tell you.. there's no such thing as awkward silence with this girl.. we both have a lot to say, it's so awsome! we got home, she stayed for dinner.. steak and salad.. and my parents went to bed, i took her to my room and she gave me a back massage.. then i gave her one, and she literally melted in my bed.. she didn't wanna move.. we cuddled a little more then i had to take her home.. i can't wait to hang out with her again, she made me the happiest i've been in 2 years. just by being her self... we're so comfortable with eachother, and it's nice to have that.. i havn't fealt this way in a long time.. marideth's and my friendship will last a very long time.. i can sense it..
so to recap.. this day was so great.. oh yea.. and the whole time today i was sober, and i think that's what made this day even better. i can't wait to call her tomarrow or the next day..
we stopped at the cheese factory and bought honey sticks chocolate and a soda and then we walked out and she asked me 'what's the fastest you've ever driven on this road?' and i responded with 'umm 120 easy.. maybe more?' and she took me accross the street to this cross on a post and said ' my friend died here from speeding at 90 miles an hour.. i was speechless. for those who know me and my driving.. i'm ALWAYS in control, no matter how fast i go, i am ALWAYS in control. anyways, after that we headed towards the beach, we talked a lot and had a lot of fun on the ride up there, we seem to never run out of things to talk about. when we got there, no one was there, and it was windier than all hell.. i grabbed some blankets from the car and wrapped one around her.. and put one around myself as well. we walked to look at the water.. and i had an idea.. there's sand dunes everywhere at north beach, i took her to a sand dune that was covored in ice plants that were half blooming (very beautifull) and we lied in this ditch in the sand dune, that was kinda sheltered from the wind if we were laying down flat.. i laid a blanket down and we both lied down on it.. and put the other blanket on top of us and we cuddled for over an hour.. it felt so good to hold her in my arms.. it was so wonderfull.. i seriously didn't want it to end.. after a while of small talk and cuddling, we went home and talked the whole time ( since i don't have a radio) and i gotta tell you.. there's no such thing as awkward silence with this girl.. we both have a lot to say, it's so awsome! we got home, she stayed for dinner.. steak and salad.. and my parents went to bed, i took her to my room and she gave me a back massage.. then i gave her one, and she literally melted in my bed.. she didn't wanna move.. we cuddled a little more then i had to take her home.. i can't wait to hang out with her again, she made me the happiest i've been in 2 years. just by being her self... we're so comfortable with eachother, and it's nice to have that.. i havn't fealt this way in a long time.. marideth's and my friendship will last a very long time.. i can sense it..
so to recap.. this day was so great.. oh yea.. and the whole time today i was sober, and i think that's what made this day even better. i can't wait to call her tomarrow or the next day..