(no subject)
no one will ever read this so im not sure who im writing to but my brain has been creating alot of thoughts lately and i just cant keep up with it, its like i start to think of things and then something else comes up and they all begin to pile up on top of eachother and i have a heart attack and die...well not yet but it could happen...last night i couldnt get to sleep so at 130 i decided to go down stairs and put all my thoughts onto paper so they would stop bothering me. i figured i way too messed up to be fixed so i should just deal with my problems...roni left today and that really hurt my heart. i just really cannot stand the thought of how little i get to see one of the greatest people in the world. something ironic kinda happened to me...i had this little friend when i was little and fat and ugly and i had a crush on her when i was like hmmm 13 and we were best friends but i just kinda liked her...so now 3 years down the line im not as fat but still ugly and i managed to bag a girlfriend and she tells me that she likes me....well i found out she likes me but whatever. so my girlfriend being the wonderful person she is offered me a get out of jail free card in which i was supposed to just switch girlfriends...but that is not what i want to do at all...i just feel bad because timing in life is crap and sometimes i think god may know what hes doing but at least he could have it make as much sense to us as it does to him....i mean there are too many people who dont believe in anything, i think i would say i am jewish...ish because i believe in god i guess in a way but i just dont believe in organized religion and the way we people use religion as a tool for murder and horrible things. maybe agnostic would be a better word but i think agnostic is something reserved for hopeless romantics and idiots. but i am in idiot i admit that so i guess its ok. tom petty is horrible...im sorry if you like him but his voice gets on my nerves. anyways life is really wierd...there are lots of people at my school that dont like me for reasons, and i understand but i just think its lame and i dont really care and i wish they understood i didnt care so they would could leave me alone...most people leave me alone physically but i mean when it comes to people talking about stuff leave my name and my likeness alone and just dont go there because what is the point of someone i dont know personally to tell other people who dont know me what i am all about. i dont know people are insaine and people are mean and people are nice and all of them go to my school. i need a biology tutor...anyone willing who knows anything about anything...and some help with spanish would be good as well i think....i think that would be a good idea. i like the friends that are nice to me...thats good logic isnt it? roni and hadley and delaney are nice to me but delaney is confusing but thats ok i cant get mad for confusion. if you stare at a page of typed paragraphs there are pictures there...and this one looks like a backwords k in ghetto writing...untill later
cameron
cameron