happiness
I like to think that i am a relatively happy person. i am very fortunate and lucky as well as blessed, to have the many things in my life. I have been lucky to be able to do the many things in my lifen and i'm Grateful for all my experiences as well. But sometimes i get a moment and I start to question things, like am I really happy?
i have a wonderful Father and a wonderufl mother but the fact that they are divorced makes me wonder if these two people can't work things out, how could i work things out with Percy? even though some people have told me it's cool to live at so many places, and I'm able to travel wherever i want between europe, the US and australia. i'll admit that it is rather icnredible, seeing everything i have seen in my life at Only 17 years of age. I have been to many countries in europe, mainly france and italy. i have traveled all over the united states with my father for his business trips and i have been to a lot of beautiful places in australia but in the middle of all this traveling, it's hard to call one single place Home. i guess home is where the heart is supposed to be, but my heart is split between my dad and mum, which is my home?
I could never choose where to live, between my dad and mum. i have to change places to live ever so often because i start to miss my mum when I'm with my dad, and vice versa.
the distance between my boyfriend Percy and I, is incredible as well. I can't believe we have been dating for so long, i really do love him. i miss him every day, and i trust him a lot but being able to see him once a month or once every twomonths gets to be weird. Long distance relationships are so hard, and I know that it is supposed to be temporary but i know each day, my feelings start to get a little dimmer until the next time I get to see him. sometimes i just want to fall asleep with him in my arms, and sometimes I just want to walk around downtown holding his hand. i miss him so Much and living across the country is so hard. i can't explain how much i feel for him, and I just hope we make it through this.
Another thing that has been bothering me as well, is that I'm not really doing anything with my life right now either. i graduated extra early and traveled around (a lot too i might add) and now Im just on a break. I feel a little lazier each day and even though I do miss going to school, i love being on this "break". i have so much free time, i really love it. I deserve this break, i worked hard for my freshman and sophmore years and now i am on a break. i shouldnt worry about college right now, im still two years ahead of everyone. but I don't know. I started looking around at the colleges I might want to go to, like: princeton, stanford, brown, ucsd, or maybe even yale but school is just not a priority to me right now.
i Spned most of my days now swimming and diving. we got a new horse recently so iVe been spending a lot of time breaking her in. it leaves me sore each day but i only ride her every copuple of days. her name is emantha, like samantha but with an e instead. (weird isnt it?) so every other day i just go jogging, it's the biggest relief. i find that running comes easier to me now and i can run a few miles without breaking a sweat (OK not really) but i just dont get tired.
I havent written in so long, i almost forgot my password. he he
<3
i have a wonderful Father and a wonderufl mother but the fact that they are divorced makes me wonder if these two people can't work things out, how could i work things out with Percy? even though some people have told me it's cool to live at so many places, and I'm able to travel wherever i want between europe, the US and australia. i'll admit that it is rather icnredible, seeing everything i have seen in my life at Only 17 years of age. I have been to many countries in europe, mainly france and italy. i have traveled all over the united states with my father for his business trips and i have been to a lot of beautiful places in australia but in the middle of all this traveling, it's hard to call one single place Home. i guess home is where the heart is supposed to be, but my heart is split between my dad and mum, which is my home?
I could never choose where to live, between my dad and mum. i have to change places to live ever so often because i start to miss my mum when I'm with my dad, and vice versa.
the distance between my boyfriend Percy and I, is incredible as well. I can't believe we have been dating for so long, i really do love him. i miss him every day, and i trust him a lot but being able to see him once a month or once every twomonths gets to be weird. Long distance relationships are so hard, and I know that it is supposed to be temporary but i know each day, my feelings start to get a little dimmer until the next time I get to see him. sometimes i just want to fall asleep with him in my arms, and sometimes I just want to walk around downtown holding his hand. i miss him so Much and living across the country is so hard. i can't explain how much i feel for him, and I just hope we make it through this.
Another thing that has been bothering me as well, is that I'm not really doing anything with my life right now either. i graduated extra early and traveled around (a lot too i might add) and now Im just on a break. I feel a little lazier each day and even though I do miss going to school, i love being on this "break". i have so much free time, i really love it. I deserve this break, i worked hard for my freshman and sophmore years and now i am on a break. i shouldnt worry about college right now, im still two years ahead of everyone. but I don't know. I started looking around at the colleges I might want to go to, like: princeton, stanford, brown, ucsd, or maybe even yale but school is just not a priority to me right now.
i Spned most of my days now swimming and diving. we got a new horse recently so iVe been spending a lot of time breaking her in. it leaves me sore each day but i only ride her every copuple of days. her name is emantha, like samantha but with an e instead. (weird isnt it?) so every other day i just go jogging, it's the biggest relief. i find that running comes easier to me now and i can run a few miles without breaking a sweat (OK not really) but i just dont get tired.
I havent written in so long, i almost forgot my password. he he
<3