hello out there
wow its been some time.
I live at home again... i kind of feel like a failure. But i am much happier here than i was when i lived with shannon and ryan. she was the most selfish person.. that always claimed "i would do anything for anybody!" but she forgot to add.... as long as it benefits me. anyway... i live at home and i work at benjamins still. I am still going out with my boyfriend Elliot. We have been through HELL and back and now we are better than ever. Our one year anniversary is approaching soon and i cant believe how fast it went by. AND how much we went through in just one year. I feel like the past year i really learned alot. I lived out on my own with a bunch of different people. Ive lost alot of friends made alot of friends and migrated from one group to another. Life is scary. I am not the person that i thought i was. I am growing up. I am realizing that people always put themselves first... so maybe i need to start doing that. It doesnt make you a bad person to put yourself first. I needed to realize that i wont be disappointed when i dont expect things. I think i have very high stanards of what i expect from people and when they dont meet my expectations i get let down or frustrated. from now on the only person that i need to give expectations to is myself. Im also very disappointed in myself with my weight. I had lost 60 pounds and ive gained alot back. Its time to get my ass in gear and get that weight off again PLUS more. Anyway... i hadnt updated in sooo long so now that i have my own computer again i will try to update alot.
lots of love
xo
Jes
I live at home again... i kind of feel like a failure. But i am much happier here than i was when i lived with shannon and ryan. she was the most selfish person.. that always claimed "i would do anything for anybody!" but she forgot to add.... as long as it benefits me. anyway... i live at home and i work at benjamins still. I am still going out with my boyfriend Elliot. We have been through HELL and back and now we are better than ever. Our one year anniversary is approaching soon and i cant believe how fast it went by. AND how much we went through in just one year. I feel like the past year i really learned alot. I lived out on my own with a bunch of different people. Ive lost alot of friends made alot of friends and migrated from one group to another. Life is scary. I am not the person that i thought i was. I am growing up. I am realizing that people always put themselves first... so maybe i need to start doing that. It doesnt make you a bad person to put yourself first. I needed to realize that i wont be disappointed when i dont expect things. I think i have very high stanards of what i expect from people and when they dont meet my expectations i get let down or frustrated. from now on the only person that i need to give expectations to is myself. Im also very disappointed in myself with my weight. I had lost 60 pounds and ive gained alot back. Its time to get my ass in gear and get that weight off again PLUS more. Anyway... i hadnt updated in sooo long so now that i have my own computer again i will try to update alot.
lots of love
xo
Jes