(no subject)
Lavender stilettos,her eyes were like knives. Knives the pierced not only the skin on the back of my neck, but sank deep drawing blood from my very being, from deep within my very soul. I did my best to maintain my stance, my best not to quiver beneath those acute lavender eyes. That’s all I can really see of her now, all I can really conjure up in my reminiscence. Nights like these are structured for these sorts for recollections. Nights made to remember blue pleated skirts and combat boots. Nights like these to remember the lavender knives. I meandered into the building that loomed over me, threatening to spill the secrets I had secured within its walls. A banner hung over the door, welcoming the return of the class of 2005, after five long years.
****************
Arms outstretched, reaching above her head for the nothing that is the sky. She appeared like a mannequin, someone pulling fiercely at her arm strings. Or like a seraph begging divinity to return her home. A seraph in a school uniform, the thought made me laugh. Resonating from her lips was song, the beauty she sang to no one. I could have watched her for decades, if I had been allowed to, the ground growing up around my feet, until I was one with the Earth. I melted into her singing, and must have appeared to be just as insane as her to onlookers, or those who walked by. The singing stopped, as suddenly as I had attached on to it, it was gone and I was diminishing. My support yanked out from under me. Falling, falling…into oblivion. I heard whispers, or just one in particular, and realized it was directed at me. I came to. She was facing me now and it was them that I saw first. The peculiarity of her lavender eyes, enticed me. But in them was no trace of friendliness or companionship. Her whisper was bitter, so cold that the hairs on the back of my neck rose as she spoke.
“Join me, don’t just stand there. Join me,” she motioned up to the sky. “Don’t you see it?” My eyes gazed at the ground, I couldn’t bring myself to look at her or anywhere else for that matter “See what?” I murmured digging the toe of my shoe into the grass I had been so ready to become a part of. She scoffed, and swung her arm around. “It. You find beauty in the oddest places.” I gazed up and all I saw above me was forming tempest clouds, I didn’t see splendor or beauty anywhere but upon her face.
Drops hitting hard upon the ground, the rain fell. Like the sky was crying for us, for her. I saw her smile, or maybe I imagined it. She began to weave around a tree; dancing, letting the rain engulf her. The combat boots, I noticed her to be wearing, sent mud flying in every direction as her movements become ecstatic. Dancing to her own music, to her own rhythm, to her own beat. Her short hair clinging to her forehead for dear life, her uniform adhering to her body, all things making her appear even more angelic. I stood there I watched, I wished. I was enthralled; I felt the rhythm pulse through me, as the yelps of others seeking shelter and the shuffling of papers as all but us rushed inside, became background noise. I twirled, I spun, and I joined her. Dancing there in the rain.
Shivering; the rain water dripped from our clothes and hair as we entered the building. The same building in which I sit now, remembering all of this. I didn’t even know her name then. All I knew of her were those lavender eyes, her short pixie styled hair that was drying at odd angles, her uniform, that clung to her very shape, and her odd choice of footwear. And her laugh, her laugh I knew very well. I’d heard it in my reveries. People stared, people whispered, people wondered and questioned. As I descended deeper and deeper into my shoes, desiring to disappear completely, hiding from their prying eyes, she strode pompously her head soaring with the clouds. Singular, she was, I realized it then. Different from me, from them, from everyone. She was a solitary building, holding her own, supporting herself. But what did that make me? Could she make me strong like her? If she could, I’d be forever appreciative. I didn’t know then what she was capable of. I didn’t know that she’d do more than make me strong; she’d make me human.
-----2-----
Windowsills, rain, sounds of people outside, these things woke me up that morning. These things and the smell of cigarette smoke. My window was an open orifice on the wall that spewed cold autumn breath of the Earth beneath my blankets. And upon its sill was where she sat. I stared, speechless, pretending my finest to still appear asleep. A cigarette hung loosely from her lips, the smoke curling up into her hair. She stared out the window at something below us, something I couldn’t see.
“I know you’re awake…” She had turned her eyes to me now, and did away with the cigarette, dropping it to the sidewalk far below my 5th story window. There was no longer any point in feigning my slumber, I sat up, the blanket falling from my torso to expose nothing but the partially unbuttoned shirt of school issued pajamas. I questioned her first with my eyes and then with my words.
“Why are you here? How did you get in? And what about…” I glanced over at the vacant bed across the room, the bed in which my usually meddlesome roommate slept and never finished my question. A chuckle, a slight hint of the laugh I had heard a few days prior, on that opening day of the autumn semester, was her answer.
“Does that really matter right now? Besides, that’s not what you’re really asking me…” she said, a smile lingering on her lips. Lavender met green, she locked eyes with me. And I knew she was right. Questions, were bustling throughout my skull. Things I need to know, things I wanted to know…things I had to know. My lips opened and faint whispers escaped, before I could catch it and force it back down my throat.
“What’s…your name?” the words hovered before me, momentarily, and I hoped she hadn’t heard them. But immediately she was on her feet and I knew my hopes had not been granted, her fists were clenched as though she had caught my words and was holding on to them as to never let them go. She stood now at the edge of my bed and was bending close to me, so close that her lips were almost upon the tip of my nose. Her eyes had never left mine, and despite how I wanted to look away, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. So hypnotic she was.
“What’s yours?” she said in an undertone. She was so close I could smell the slight suggestion of cigarette smoke on her breath, when I inhaled; I could feel her warm breath on my face. I maintained my calmness, and choked back fear, fear that was an infidelity to my manhood. I drew in my breath, and let a smile play on my lips. “I asked you first…” I murmured. There was something vacant, something cold in the smile she gave me as she brought herself upright and adjusted the tie around her neck. “Class starts in 45 minutes...” and with those words she was out of my dormitory room, having never answered my question.
I had dressed in a hurried manner, the tie around my neck was crooked, and felt too tight and my left shoe was undone, laces alive, moving, like snakes. I was the spitting image of a complete mess. I flew, my feet barely gracing the stairs. I didn’t bother looking for her; I knew she’d come again. I hoped she’d come again. First period, moved with the pace of an enthusiastic snail. Mind you, that’s not much faster than an unenthusiastic snail, her wasn’t there to drive me, to push me foreword to entertain me. Images of her ran through my head, dancing, teasing, taunting, but that’s what kept me attentive, her. My hopes of seeing her were satisfied the next class period. Without looking at me, I felt her acknowledge my presence. My eyes took every opportunity to look at her, from where I sat. I was hypnotized, by her and by her eyes. Those eyes that I couldn't even see from this angle. I sucked her image into my mind, and forever stored it there. Her brown hair and the vividly colored barettes that were scattered throughout it, looked freshly washed. Her body was petite, but no less than beautiful. She was thin, no more that 115 pounds at the time, but she wasn't too tall so her proportions didn't matter. I could easily see her shoulder blades prodding through the white blouse of her school uniform. Flawless, she was like a princess from a fairy tale. I knew she could feel my eyes stripping her naked and examining her every crease of skin, but not once did she hand me a smile or toss me a kiss with her eyes; not once did she turn to me. She only remained facing foreward, ocassionally looking down at the purple notebook that lay oddly angled on her desk. Its vacant lines staring up at her, begging to be written upon. The bell sounded and my body was seized from the desk by obligation to head to my next period. I walked passed her and flashed her a quick smile, that she did not return. She simply thrust a furrowed piece of paper into my hand, and sauntered from the class. I clenced the crumpled paper tight in my fist, as I meandered to my next lesson. I was punishing myself, by forcing myself to wait. I eager to see what she had written to me. I chose my desk in the front of the classroom, with really no thought at all. I uncrumpled the paper and pressed it flat to my desk. A single word was upon the paper. The beautiful scrawl on the paper spelled out seven letters: A-D-E-L-E-I-N.
I've actually posted this before..I just editted it some..and decided to repost it...or something. x.x
I'm going to be making a LOT of edits to this post. Keep your eyes peeled. *muah*
[Edit: I hate that last paragraph. I'm in the process of fixing it.]
****************
Arms outstretched, reaching above her head for the nothing that is the sky. She appeared like a mannequin, someone pulling fiercely at her arm strings. Or like a seraph begging divinity to return her home. A seraph in a school uniform, the thought made me laugh. Resonating from her lips was song, the beauty she sang to no one. I could have watched her for decades, if I had been allowed to, the ground growing up around my feet, until I was one with the Earth. I melted into her singing, and must have appeared to be just as insane as her to onlookers, or those who walked by. The singing stopped, as suddenly as I had attached on to it, it was gone and I was diminishing. My support yanked out from under me. Falling, falling…into oblivion. I heard whispers, or just one in particular, and realized it was directed at me. I came to. She was facing me now and it was them that I saw first. The peculiarity of her lavender eyes, enticed me. But in them was no trace of friendliness or companionship. Her whisper was bitter, so cold that the hairs on the back of my neck rose as she spoke.
“Join me, don’t just stand there. Join me,” she motioned up to the sky. “Don’t you see it?” My eyes gazed at the ground, I couldn’t bring myself to look at her or anywhere else for that matter “See what?” I murmured digging the toe of my shoe into the grass I had been so ready to become a part of. She scoffed, and swung her arm around. “It. You find beauty in the oddest places.” I gazed up and all I saw above me was forming tempest clouds, I didn’t see splendor or beauty anywhere but upon her face.
Drops hitting hard upon the ground, the rain fell. Like the sky was crying for us, for her. I saw her smile, or maybe I imagined it. She began to weave around a tree; dancing, letting the rain engulf her. The combat boots, I noticed her to be wearing, sent mud flying in every direction as her movements become ecstatic. Dancing to her own music, to her own rhythm, to her own beat. Her short hair clinging to her forehead for dear life, her uniform adhering to her body, all things making her appear even more angelic. I stood there I watched, I wished. I was enthralled; I felt the rhythm pulse through me, as the yelps of others seeking shelter and the shuffling of papers as all but us rushed inside, became background noise. I twirled, I spun, and I joined her. Dancing there in the rain.
Shivering; the rain water dripped from our clothes and hair as we entered the building. The same building in which I sit now, remembering all of this. I didn’t even know her name then. All I knew of her were those lavender eyes, her short pixie styled hair that was drying at odd angles, her uniform, that clung to her very shape, and her odd choice of footwear. And her laugh, her laugh I knew very well. I’d heard it in my reveries. People stared, people whispered, people wondered and questioned. As I descended deeper and deeper into my shoes, desiring to disappear completely, hiding from their prying eyes, she strode pompously her head soaring with the clouds. Singular, she was, I realized it then. Different from me, from them, from everyone. She was a solitary building, holding her own, supporting herself. But what did that make me? Could she make me strong like her? If she could, I’d be forever appreciative. I didn’t know then what she was capable of. I didn’t know that she’d do more than make me strong; she’d make me human.
-----2-----
Windowsills, rain, sounds of people outside, these things woke me up that morning. These things and the smell of cigarette smoke. My window was an open orifice on the wall that spewed cold autumn breath of the Earth beneath my blankets. And upon its sill was where she sat. I stared, speechless, pretending my finest to still appear asleep. A cigarette hung loosely from her lips, the smoke curling up into her hair. She stared out the window at something below us, something I couldn’t see.
“I know you’re awake…” She had turned her eyes to me now, and did away with the cigarette, dropping it to the sidewalk far below my 5th story window. There was no longer any point in feigning my slumber, I sat up, the blanket falling from my torso to expose nothing but the partially unbuttoned shirt of school issued pajamas. I questioned her first with my eyes and then with my words.
“Why are you here? How did you get in? And what about…” I glanced over at the vacant bed across the room, the bed in which my usually meddlesome roommate slept and never finished my question. A chuckle, a slight hint of the laugh I had heard a few days prior, on that opening day of the autumn semester, was her answer.
“Does that really matter right now? Besides, that’s not what you’re really asking me…” she said, a smile lingering on her lips. Lavender met green, she locked eyes with me. And I knew she was right. Questions, were bustling throughout my skull. Things I need to know, things I wanted to know…things I had to know. My lips opened and faint whispers escaped, before I could catch it and force it back down my throat.
“What’s…your name?” the words hovered before me, momentarily, and I hoped she hadn’t heard them. But immediately she was on her feet and I knew my hopes had not been granted, her fists were clenched as though she had caught my words and was holding on to them as to never let them go. She stood now at the edge of my bed and was bending close to me, so close that her lips were almost upon the tip of my nose. Her eyes had never left mine, and despite how I wanted to look away, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. So hypnotic she was.
“What’s yours?” she said in an undertone. She was so close I could smell the slight suggestion of cigarette smoke on her breath, when I inhaled; I could feel her warm breath on my face. I maintained my calmness, and choked back fear, fear that was an infidelity to my manhood. I drew in my breath, and let a smile play on my lips. “I asked you first…” I murmured. There was something vacant, something cold in the smile she gave me as she brought herself upright and adjusted the tie around her neck. “Class starts in 45 minutes...” and with those words she was out of my dormitory room, having never answered my question.
I had dressed in a hurried manner, the tie around my neck was crooked, and felt too tight and my left shoe was undone, laces alive, moving, like snakes. I was the spitting image of a complete mess. I flew, my feet barely gracing the stairs. I didn’t bother looking for her; I knew she’d come again. I hoped she’d come again. First period, moved with the pace of an enthusiastic snail. Mind you, that’s not much faster than an unenthusiastic snail, her wasn’t there to drive me, to push me foreword to entertain me. Images of her ran through my head, dancing, teasing, taunting, but that’s what kept me attentive, her. My hopes of seeing her were satisfied the next class period. Without looking at me, I felt her acknowledge my presence. My eyes took every opportunity to look at her, from where I sat. I was hypnotized, by her and by her eyes. Those eyes that I couldn't even see from this angle. I sucked her image into my mind, and forever stored it there. Her brown hair and the vividly colored barettes that were scattered throughout it, looked freshly washed. Her body was petite, but no less than beautiful. She was thin, no more that 115 pounds at the time, but she wasn't too tall so her proportions didn't matter. I could easily see her shoulder blades prodding through the white blouse of her school uniform. Flawless, she was like a princess from a fairy tale. I knew she could feel my eyes stripping her naked and examining her every crease of skin, but not once did she hand me a smile or toss me a kiss with her eyes; not once did she turn to me. She only remained facing foreward, ocassionally looking down at the purple notebook that lay oddly angled on her desk. Its vacant lines staring up at her, begging to be written upon. The bell sounded and my body was seized from the desk by obligation to head to my next period. I walked passed her and flashed her a quick smile, that she did not return. She simply thrust a furrowed piece of paper into my hand, and sauntered from the class. I clenced the crumpled paper tight in my fist, as I meandered to my next lesson. I was punishing myself, by forcing myself to wait. I eager to see what she had written to me. I chose my desk in the front of the classroom, with really no thought at all. I uncrumpled the paper and pressed it flat to my desk. A single word was upon the paper. The beautiful scrawl on the paper spelled out seven letters: A-D-E-L-E-I-N.
I've actually posted this before..I just editted it some..and decided to repost it...or something. x.x
I'm going to be making a LOT of edits to this post. Keep your eyes peeled. *muah*
[Edit: I hate that last paragraph. I'm in the process of fixing it.]