what will the future hold?
I dont update much, and when i do its usually about stupid bullshit. Honestly I dont do serious updates because I hate thinking about the things in my life that i cannot do anything about. It sounds like from my friends page that this year has been pretty hard on all of us, myself included. I honestly dont know what keeps me going. What keeps me from going off the deep end and just jumping into the detroit river. Maybe its the fact that im a gutless coward. I honestly think that I am going to die soon. I have internal bleeding that will not go away. I cannot see a doctor because I dont have medical insurance and no money. I havent told anyone. My brothers dont know. My friends do not know. I think i have e-coli, a bleeding ulser, or i busted something and its bleeding, i dont know. I regret alot of things I have done in the past but I can only say im sorry. I really cannot wait for this year to be over and done with. I cant wait to start a new year. I hope the next year will be better than this year because if it is not, I dont think i will be living very much longer.