Screw LJ cuts
What to say, what to say...
I'll start off by saying if you actually read my damn entrys, well, you don't know shit about what's going on.
That is my fault.
But I don't need to tell anyone.
No one.
Not my mother
Not my multiple doctors.
Not my friends....believe it or not, those who are reading, you are all I have. No one at school, nor anywhere else. And I wouldn't have it any other way...school is not a social hour.
So should I tell you? Why bother.
I won't even let my dogs see me naked, nor will I tell them anything.
I can't keep a journal. I can't tell the journal my secrets. Why do people even keep fucking journals? Why do I write here? It is the only communication I have.
I can share big things, but I don't. They are only big to me, not to you. So why don't I just keep this journal as a private one? I don't know....Don't bother reading further. Just my ramblings. This whole journal is made of my ramblings.
Anyways, someone define normal.
I have asked 3 people today.
My psychologist
My Mother
and Jamie.
I think Jamie got it right, she is great, and is growing up believe it or not.
Her response was "Normal? Why should I define it? I've been told I'm not normal many times. There is no normal. Don't try to be normal, you can't be. No one can. Fuck normal."
I was later talking to her, we agreed, when I graduate from high school I will take her first to Japan, then to New Zealand.
And I thought of the best bumper sticker, that we both agreed to print and put it on our cars.
"America can screw itself, I'm moving to New Zealand"
I'm getting sick of Christian Preachers...I swear, they are attracted to me. Just this morning a priest came and said "You don't know Jesus, you have a mizuzah on your door, so you are Jewish. You believe in a false god. Jesus can save you if you let him." So I responded.
"I don't believe in any god, go molest a kid."
Then I let Casey chase him around the block and back to his car. Since I trained her to...Mostly to Jamie when she came in my room.
Ewok wouldn't leave me...what a shpherds dog. But he won't herd Casey, as shpeepish as she looks. They are both posessive of me, if one is on my lap the other will bite, and not 'play with me' bites, blood drawing bites. And only with me, yay, for once, I am wanted.
It's fun to walk with Ewok. He is like my shadow, and I can only notice him when I look at our shadows. No leash is needed with him and I, he won't run to anyone, or chase a car, or animal, without me telling him to 'go get it' he always looks for approval, and will just keep walking if I say nothing. He will be my agility dog, and best friend. My shadow. My Stubby (his nickname...since aussie shepherds are either born without tails or have docked tails and he has an extra short stub).
None of that made sense when I read it over. I don't care, if you do, then don't read my entrys, the words and sentences are all jambled up, and opnions mixed together. So, goodbye.
I'll start off by saying if you actually read my damn entrys, well, you don't know shit about what's going on.
That is my fault.
But I don't need to tell anyone.
No one.
Not my mother
Not my multiple doctors.
Not my friends....believe it or not, those who are reading, you are all I have. No one at school, nor anywhere else. And I wouldn't have it any other way...school is not a social hour.
So should I tell you? Why bother.
I won't even let my dogs see me naked, nor will I tell them anything.
I can't keep a journal. I can't tell the journal my secrets. Why do people even keep fucking journals? Why do I write here? It is the only communication I have.
I can share big things, but I don't. They are only big to me, not to you. So why don't I just keep this journal as a private one? I don't know....Don't bother reading further. Just my ramblings. This whole journal is made of my ramblings.
Anyways, someone define normal.
I have asked 3 people today.
My psychologist
My Mother
and Jamie.
I think Jamie got it right, she is great, and is growing up believe it or not.
Her response was "Normal? Why should I define it? I've been told I'm not normal many times. There is no normal. Don't try to be normal, you can't be. No one can. Fuck normal."
I was later talking to her, we agreed, when I graduate from high school I will take her first to Japan, then to New Zealand.
And I thought of the best bumper sticker, that we both agreed to print and put it on our cars.
"America can screw itself, I'm moving to New Zealand"
I'm getting sick of Christian Preachers...I swear, they are attracted to me. Just this morning a priest came and said "You don't know Jesus, you have a mizuzah on your door, so you are Jewish. You believe in a false god. Jesus can save you if you let him." So I responded.
"I don't believe in any god, go molest a kid."
Then I let Casey chase him around the block and back to his car. Since I trained her to...Mostly to Jamie when she came in my room.
Ewok wouldn't leave me...what a shpherds dog. But he won't herd Casey, as shpeepish as she looks. They are both posessive of me, if one is on my lap the other will bite, and not 'play with me' bites, blood drawing bites. And only with me, yay, for once, I am wanted.
It's fun to walk with Ewok. He is like my shadow, and I can only notice him when I look at our shadows. No leash is needed with him and I, he won't run to anyone, or chase a car, or animal, without me telling him to 'go get it' he always looks for approval, and will just keep walking if I say nothing. He will be my agility dog, and best friend. My shadow. My Stubby (his nickname...since aussie shepherds are either born without tails or have docked tails and he has an extra short stub).
None of that made sense when I read it over. I don't care, if you do, then don't read my entrys, the words and sentences are all jambled up, and opnions mixed together. So, goodbye.