sick of love songs
OK. I have so much on my mind lately.
I hear everyone talk about colleges there applying to and that they''ll most likely get into because, wellt here not me, and it makes feel so ashamed that i've slacked off and not tried nearly as hard as i could of these past couple of years. I have so many reasons/excuses, and most of them make sense as to why i did poorly, but there not the actual reason why i did so poorly in school. I haven't tried hartd enough. OR maybe I;m just stupid. I feel stupid, not for doing poorly in school, but for not realizing how much it really is going to effect the rest of my life.
Maybe i can fix this.
Since the only type of college i'm going to get into is a 2 year or communtity college because of my shitty SAT scores and even shittier grade point average and class rank, i figure i'll try as hard as i possibly can without forgetting what college is about and make dean's list. That ay I can either decide to go to a bigger and better school (i.e. Cortland or SU) or stay there get my associates and then move on up. Either way i could maybe fix my fuck ups, which rarely happens to poeple, other than in this situation. So here's to you guys deciding whether it will be Oswego or some other school, and here's to me deciding on whether it will be Jamestown community, Cayuga community, or good old OCC, please note the sarcasm.
I want to moveout, because i actually want to be able to see some of the money from my child support. So i'll have to consider that. Would an apartment or a dorm be cheaper?Because both CCC and OCC are getting/have dorm rooms. help me.
+ Bryan is coming home on Friday
+ Christmas is coming
+ I'm healthy
- I have to work new years eve and new years day 10 am to close both days
- i feel like a loser, not the kind that i would gladly take the tag of but the shitty kind
- i can't find more positives in life
- i feel like i need to write more but when i sit down to do so I lose all ambitions to do so
- i have no one to kiss under the mistletoe haha that could also be a plus idk.
ok so thats enough.
please comment
suggestions would be helpful.