(no subject)
I cant write a simple summary of my experiences in Poland and Israel on the March of the Living. So instead I decided to copy what I wrote in my journal while I was on the March. Hopefully it will show a fraction of the amount of emotions I had.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
4/14(15?)/04
We landed about an hour ago in Warsaw, Poland. It's kind of overwhelming knowing that I'm in the country where there was so much history with my people. Now, you're lucky to find even one Jew here. Up on the way to New York from Miami, an old man came up to our group and yelled at us for supporting the Polish economy. In a way, I think he was right. I guess it's just one of those "necessary evils."
4/16/04
17,400 stories are surrounding every word that falls from my pen. 800,000 voices are colling to me when I see the menorah standing proud above what was once used to exterminate mine own. A black pit, where certain entities became lifeless seems to want to swallow me whole...but cannot. Those fires have since gone away. Away with those 800,000. How can a bird sing a new song and build a new nest in a place where no songs were ever sang, and all nests were destroyed? I've cheated death just stand sitting on the same grounds I couldn't sit on. I shouldn't be allowed to be here, 60 years too late. I can't do much. I can only listen to those 6,000,000 voices that scream from these stones that tell me to "never forget."
4/17/04
Shabbat just ended. It was my first, and probably last Shabbat in Poland. I can't describe how many times chills rolled down my spine, from hearing the Rabbi speak earlier today to the most moving rendition of "Ma Tovu." Every time I do Shabbos right I always have the most amazing feeling of an accomplishment. I have to make a stronger effort to separate that moment from the rest of the week.
We're on our way to the Warsaw Ghetto now. I hear there's nothing of it left, linke Treblinka.
Yesterday, I cried.
4/18/04
Majdanek-
It's not until now that I have seen the fakeness of reality. How can this all be real? I hear no boots, no screams, no dogs. I'm in the chanbers, I see the shoes. Nothing.
I turn the corner to a row of metal chambers that I am all too familiar with.
Frozen.
I see people laying there-- friends, parents, stephanie-- as that would be who I would have seen. It is all real again.
Stepping up, up, up...ashes. 17 tons. 2 superbowl cords in a circle. Humanity left Majdanek a long time ago, when Nazis nbuilt a death camp in the middle of a city as if to tease us into thinking we could reach. Us. I was there, with all 6,000,000. I am here. This is real.
4/19/04
There is no feeling like that of an empty barrack. I heard calls and felt spirits breathing upon my back. "Why are you here? Leave now!" I began to say Kaddish. Alone. The spirits haven't slept yet. They are still being burned in these ovens. Day after day. Itr is not death that brings an end. In Birkenau, it is only the beginning. Ashes have been brought to Israel. Attempting closure. Nothing will close this chapter, in this camp. I wont ever forget the smell of the barracks, as they still smell like dying carcuses. It will haunt my senses forever.
4/25/04
What they say is true-- you take for granted what you have until you don't have it anymore. In Poland, Irael was a blur in my mind. A far-fetched fantasy, as it was for millions sixty years ago.
We boarded El-Al, and later landed in Ben-Gurion Airport. Hebrew was written on every sign. It was not abnormal to wear kippot or speak Hebrew. It is something I can't describe that pulls me to this place, where I feel more home and more safe than anywhere else in the world.
I climbed Masada a few days ago. The awe and beauty of it all was surreal, but not in the same way as the sight of 17 tons of ashes seen in Majdanek. Masada is a landmark in Jewish history that proves the strength of the Jewish heart.
We reached Jerusalem on a Friday afternoon. Our first stop was the Kotel. What an overwhelmingly spiritual experience it is to fall onto such a pillar of Jewish heritage. I left my note in the crevises.
Shabbat came. In Jerusalem, Shabbat isn't a day, it's an event that everybody observes. To be in the place where every single praying Jew is focusing on is more than just an honor. I've also come to realize that devoting a day to rest and prayer does not at all impede on any weekly routine. On Shabbat in Jerusalem, each person is connected on the same string. It's an amazing feeling of unity and brotherhood, like that of a closely knit family. It truly is a beautiful thing.
4/28/04
Goodbye Israel--
You have taught me what it is to be one with myself, and the family of Jewish people i live in. You made it possible for me to feel like I belong. I've never felt so safe and proud anywhere else at any other time. You've shown me what it is like to be brought up from the depths and risen up to the heavens. Your echo will never fade in my mind, as you are my home, where I can go to when I'm in need. I'll be back after high school. That I promis. I will find a way.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's all over. The March of the Living has finished--all with one song, and the explosion of fireworks. Last night I sang the Hatikvah with 40 different countries. I danced to "Od Avinu Chai" with a South American. There were times when I thought that there was no such thing as "one people." I was so very wrong. Unity is looking into a stranger's eyes and seeing yourself. Unity is song and dance and music. The Jewish people are unified. We all know each other's own identities, which is something no other man can say.
The friends I've made will stay with me till my dying day, I know they will. We know too much about one another to give up now. We've seen one another in the lowest of the lows and the highest of the highs, which is so much more than I could say about most of my other friends. Link I said in my first entry about the March of lj, it's amazing how something so tragic can unify us so that we are stronger than we've ever been.
I will keep going on. I will remember always the lessons I have learned on this March and apple them to my life. I will never forget the Holocaust, and never take for granted the state of Israel. I will teach friends, family, children, complete strangers of my experiences, as this is the next step of the March of the Living.
Miles Bunder told us something at the Warsaw Ghetto that will stay in my thoughts forever. He told us all that "we cannot truly know what we are willing to live for, unless we know what we are willing to die for."
I am willing to die in order for me to remember, and to ensure that the rest of the world, like me, will never forget.
זכור
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
4/14(15?)/04
We landed about an hour ago in Warsaw, Poland. It's kind of overwhelming knowing that I'm in the country where there was so much history with my people. Now, you're lucky to find even one Jew here. Up on the way to New York from Miami, an old man came up to our group and yelled at us for supporting the Polish economy. In a way, I think he was right. I guess it's just one of those "necessary evils."
4/16/04
17,400 stories are surrounding every word that falls from my pen. 800,000 voices are colling to me when I see the menorah standing proud above what was once used to exterminate mine own. A black pit, where certain entities became lifeless seems to want to swallow me whole...but cannot. Those fires have since gone away. Away with those 800,000. How can a bird sing a new song and build a new nest in a place where no songs were ever sang, and all nests were destroyed? I've cheated death just stand sitting on the same grounds I couldn't sit on. I shouldn't be allowed to be here, 60 years too late. I can't do much. I can only listen to those 6,000,000 voices that scream from these stones that tell me to "never forget."
4/17/04
Shabbat just ended. It was my first, and probably last Shabbat in Poland. I can't describe how many times chills rolled down my spine, from hearing the Rabbi speak earlier today to the most moving rendition of "Ma Tovu." Every time I do Shabbos right I always have the most amazing feeling of an accomplishment. I have to make a stronger effort to separate that moment from the rest of the week.
We're on our way to the Warsaw Ghetto now. I hear there's nothing of it left, linke Treblinka.
Yesterday, I cried.
4/18/04
Majdanek-
It's not until now that I have seen the fakeness of reality. How can this all be real? I hear no boots, no screams, no dogs. I'm in the chanbers, I see the shoes. Nothing.
I turn the corner to a row of metal chambers that I am all too familiar with.
Frozen.
I see people laying there-- friends, parents, stephanie-- as that would be who I would have seen. It is all real again.
Stepping up, up, up...ashes. 17 tons. 2 superbowl cords in a circle. Humanity left Majdanek a long time ago, when Nazis nbuilt a death camp in the middle of a city as if to tease us into thinking we could reach. Us. I was there, with all 6,000,000. I am here. This is real.
4/19/04
There is no feeling like that of an empty barrack. I heard calls and felt spirits breathing upon my back. "Why are you here? Leave now!" I began to say Kaddish. Alone. The spirits haven't slept yet. They are still being burned in these ovens. Day after day. Itr is not death that brings an end. In Birkenau, it is only the beginning. Ashes have been brought to Israel. Attempting closure. Nothing will close this chapter, in this camp. I wont ever forget the smell of the barracks, as they still smell like dying carcuses. It will haunt my senses forever.
4/25/04
What they say is true-- you take for granted what you have until you don't have it anymore. In Poland, Irael was a blur in my mind. A far-fetched fantasy, as it was for millions sixty years ago.
We boarded El-Al, and later landed in Ben-Gurion Airport. Hebrew was written on every sign. It was not abnormal to wear kippot or speak Hebrew. It is something I can't describe that pulls me to this place, where I feel more home and more safe than anywhere else in the world.
I climbed Masada a few days ago. The awe and beauty of it all was surreal, but not in the same way as the sight of 17 tons of ashes seen in Majdanek. Masada is a landmark in Jewish history that proves the strength of the Jewish heart.
We reached Jerusalem on a Friday afternoon. Our first stop was the Kotel. What an overwhelmingly spiritual experience it is to fall onto such a pillar of Jewish heritage. I left my note in the crevises.
Shabbat came. In Jerusalem, Shabbat isn't a day, it's an event that everybody observes. To be in the place where every single praying Jew is focusing on is more than just an honor. I've also come to realize that devoting a day to rest and prayer does not at all impede on any weekly routine. On Shabbat in Jerusalem, each person is connected on the same string. It's an amazing feeling of unity and brotherhood, like that of a closely knit family. It truly is a beautiful thing.
4/28/04
Goodbye Israel--
You have taught me what it is to be one with myself, and the family of Jewish people i live in. You made it possible for me to feel like I belong. I've never felt so safe and proud anywhere else at any other time. You've shown me what it is like to be brought up from the depths and risen up to the heavens. Your echo will never fade in my mind, as you are my home, where I can go to when I'm in need. I'll be back after high school. That I promis. I will find a way.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's all over. The March of the Living has finished--all with one song, and the explosion of fireworks. Last night I sang the Hatikvah with 40 different countries. I danced to "Od Avinu Chai" with a South American. There were times when I thought that there was no such thing as "one people." I was so very wrong. Unity is looking into a stranger's eyes and seeing yourself. Unity is song and dance and music. The Jewish people are unified. We all know each other's own identities, which is something no other man can say.
The friends I've made will stay with me till my dying day, I know they will. We know too much about one another to give up now. We've seen one another in the lowest of the lows and the highest of the highs, which is so much more than I could say about most of my other friends. Link I said in my first entry about the March of lj, it's amazing how something so tragic can unify us so that we are stronger than we've ever been.
I will keep going on. I will remember always the lessons I have learned on this March and apple them to my life. I will never forget the Holocaust, and never take for granted the state of Israel. I will teach friends, family, children, complete strangers of my experiences, as this is the next step of the March of the Living.
Miles Bunder told us something at the Warsaw Ghetto that will stay in my thoughts forever. He told us all that "we cannot truly know what we are willing to live for, unless we know what we are willing to die for."
I am willing to die in order for me to remember, and to ensure that the rest of the world, like me, will never forget.
זכור