the 2 loves of my life
i felt the baby move for the first time the other night. everything is becoming more real. to my surprise it doesnt scare me. it makes me more excited. i lay in bed everynight and think about what my future holds. everything about this was so outside of my life plan. but to my amazement thats ok. i know everything is going to be ok. because i know this was meant to happen. it was supposed to happen when it did, with who it did. even after all the drama, all the crying and the fights. after it all, its perfect. my life is perfect. to you, who looks in, may think the complete opposite. but its what you take out of it. its the way you look at things, the way you believe. no one has a "perfect" life but everything that happens is so important and connected to what happens tomorrow. its all laid out for you. you are just riding the rollercoaster of life. you just need to learn to sit back and enjoy the ride. because all those twists, the turns the highs and the lows, they are all already on track. you have no control over it. so in that sense, its all so perfect.
valentines day is comming up. never have i had a good valentines day. i have spent everyone of them alone thus far. i have a feeling this one with be amazing. and full of love and happiness. Farrand is visiting me! i cant tell you how excited i am to spend it with him. to hold him and kiss him on the day that is meant for love. i want to do something special for him to show him how much i love him. i have a few ideas but im still sorting them out. he is the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me. i love him so much. it makes me cry when i really think about it. but not sad tears, happy ones. it feels like my heart is sometimes going to explode because its so overwhelmed by what it feels. i promised my heart id never love again after gavin. to be in love, to completely fall for someone. im so glad i broke that promise.
valentines day is comming up. never have i had a good valentines day. i have spent everyone of them alone thus far. i have a feeling this one with be amazing. and full of love and happiness. Farrand is visiting me! i cant tell you how excited i am to spend it with him. to hold him and kiss him on the day that is meant for love. i want to do something special for him to show him how much i love him. i have a few ideas but im still sorting them out. he is the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me. i love him so much. it makes me cry when i really think about it. but not sad tears, happy ones. it feels like my heart is sometimes going to explode because its so overwhelmed by what it feels. i promised my heart id never love again after gavin. to be in love, to completely fall for someone. im so glad i broke that promise.