so this was from a few days ago in my geejay
so i haven't been updating a lot at all. its cause my computer broke and we just got it last weekend. but then our internet wasnt working, and verizon has been a cunt about it, so my dad just got a dial-up connection a few days ago so we could have some kind of internet.
& well, i've been sick since like saturday. sore throat and fever. went to the doctor's yesterday and they told me i have something called tonsilitis. i guess its some form of strep throat. grrreat. so my mom bitched about it and the doctor gave her a list of throat doctors, and im getting my tonsils out, i guess. oh joy.
so lately.
Everything has been shitty. gee, whats new.
i had exams all last week, starting wednesday. sucked, of course. and then, i missed my video prod. exam which was yesterday. and today was last day for make ups. and i felt like shitt when i woke up so i didnt go. so i need to arrange something, or my parents will go kung fu on my ass. mmhmm.
friday Nathan's having some gig/playoff thing in someones basement. I said i would go, if I could. saturday is supposed to be the winter ball. but i dont have a dress. joy. i dont know when i'll even be able to go look for one. so i dont know if we'll even be able to go. and he got the tickets today. but he said he would give them to his brother if we didnt go. and i feel like a bitch if he has to give them to him. cause thats like wasting money. ugh.
today is his birthday also! =]] yay. but i ruined it by being sick. cause it ruined our plans. and i couldnt make his cake. which pissed me off. :[ but he came over and we watched saw, finally. and he got me two cheeseburgers from wendy's. lovely. <33 cause i have barely eaten anything in the last 3-4 days.
he also came up friday. we watched big fish. it wasnt that good. then we watched poltergeist.
and i've been crying a lot lately. like friday. i started crying out of nowhere. at the worst time ever. damn, did i feel stupid. and embarrassed.
Lately, i realized something. I have no friends, at all. They all have stabbed me in the back. talked shit about me. or they ignore me. or they obviously dont think im good enough for them. all i have left is Nathan. &i guess thats why lately David was on my mind a lot. &thats probably the reason why i've been crying so much. I just want this school year to be over, so i can be rid of everything. I just want to move out of effin Burrillville. I really want out of Rhode Island, period. But I dont think its going to happen. Its quite ironic how I'd rather go to Fall River. It's actually gotten to the point, that I've been thinking about contacting him. yeah. pretty pathetic, i know. but what can i say.
I really dont even know what to do anymore.
I just cant stand school anymore. So much pressure. I just feel so fucking dumb there. Everyone puts me down. My grades are mostly down to shit, and I`m struggling to even keep them there. Last year, I only had A's or B's. Only one C. & one F. but that was it.
i know im complaining again. but i guess thats all my life has turned into. one big complaint.
hahahaa.
what an emo tragedy. lets all slit our wrists.
& well, i've been sick since like saturday. sore throat and fever. went to the doctor's yesterday and they told me i have something called tonsilitis. i guess its some form of strep throat. grrreat. so my mom bitched about it and the doctor gave her a list of throat doctors, and im getting my tonsils out, i guess. oh joy.
so lately.
Everything has been shitty. gee, whats new.
i had exams all last week, starting wednesday. sucked, of course. and then, i missed my video prod. exam which was yesterday. and today was last day for make ups. and i felt like shitt when i woke up so i didnt go. so i need to arrange something, or my parents will go kung fu on my ass. mmhmm.
friday Nathan's having some gig/playoff thing in someones basement. I said i would go, if I could. saturday is supposed to be the winter ball. but i dont have a dress. joy. i dont know when i'll even be able to go look for one. so i dont know if we'll even be able to go. and he got the tickets today. but he said he would give them to his brother if we didnt go. and i feel like a bitch if he has to give them to him. cause thats like wasting money. ugh.
today is his birthday also! =]] yay. but i ruined it by being sick. cause it ruined our plans. and i couldnt make his cake. which pissed me off. :[ but he came over and we watched saw, finally. and he got me two cheeseburgers from wendy's. lovely. <33 cause i have barely eaten anything in the last 3-4 days.
he also came up friday. we watched big fish. it wasnt that good. then we watched poltergeist.
and i've been crying a lot lately. like friday. i started crying out of nowhere. at the worst time ever. damn, did i feel stupid. and embarrassed.
Lately, i realized something. I have no friends, at all. They all have stabbed me in the back. talked shit about me. or they ignore me. or they obviously dont think im good enough for them. all i have left is Nathan. &i guess thats why lately David was on my mind a lot. &thats probably the reason why i've been crying so much. I just want this school year to be over, so i can be rid of everything. I just want to move out of effin Burrillville. I really want out of Rhode Island, period. But I dont think its going to happen. Its quite ironic how I'd rather go to Fall River. It's actually gotten to the point, that I've been thinking about contacting him. yeah. pretty pathetic, i know. but what can i say.
I really dont even know what to do anymore.
I just cant stand school anymore. So much pressure. I just feel so fucking dumb there. Everyone puts me down. My grades are mostly down to shit, and I`m struggling to even keep them there. Last year, I only had A's or B's. Only one C. & one F. but that was it.
i know im complaining again. but i guess thats all my life has turned into. one big complaint.
hahahaa.
what an emo tragedy. lets all slit our wrists.