(no subject)
i'm begining to think that something is wrong with me. See right after the new year, my best friend's house caught on fire while i was in it, escaped, ran back in 3 different times either trying to put out the fire or save this guy i barely know. now that happened on friday/saturday morning. Monday rolls around and i have to take my dog to the vet. I get her there and Dr. Brenda(my vet) tells me that lena's kidneys have all but failed and that her life is just only going to get more painful and it's best that we just go ahead and put her down. i've had this dog for about 10 years. now seeing as how i'm 18 i've had this dog for over half my life. she's my best friend in the whole world. every day since like 4th grade i've come home and she's been there just waitin to see me. she's the greatest dog ever. and now i have to hold her while someone kills her. see i started this post out by saying that i think something is wrong with me. this is why. i don't feel anything. my friend's house pretty much burned down and i just shrug it off as if it's no big deal. my best friend in the whole world, my dog, i have to kill on friday. i haven't shed a tear or even felt sad. i'm completely numb. i interact with people but its just like a blank slate most of the time. sure i feel emotions at the current moment when they're happening but nothing clicks anymore. it's really beginning to bother me that nothing phases me anymore. something dramatic happens and i'm just kinda like "eh oh well" and move on. NO it shouldn't be like that. i think that sometime in the near future, i'm just gonna have some huge mental breakdown and it's gonna be the opposite of good. but yeah, something is wrong, i just don't know what to do about it.