(no subject)
Some nights she slept in cars and others she slept on a mattress in the garage of whatever house we had during that time period. Some nights she would alternte and stay at the homeless shelter. Before that she slept on our fold out sofa and before that was when she had her own bed and I lived there with her.
My first best friend, Sally.
Before her illness took over She called me "Kiddo" and "Little bit." She wore black and white polk-a-dot things with frills and she shared her big floppy hats with me. We would build sheet tents with her wicker furniture and eat ramen noodles (the only thing I would eat without havng to be force fed). As her paranoia set in right before she lost her job and eventually her apartment, she had little quirks. She was always scared someone was going to hurt me. She accused people of it constantly. She sat up all night by my side while I slept just in case anything might happen. When wed go swimming I would have to wear a swimsuit with an inner tube built in it while also wearing my floaties just in case I might drown. When we went to the mall or even the grocery store she had my wrist fastened to a child's leash just in case someone might try to run through a crowd of people and snatch me up.
When she moved in with us she was finally diagnosed with schizophrenia but refused to be medicated. When my mom went to work she would leave me with Sally which I was happy about because she was the only grown up I ever really liked being around. Though, she thought my kindergarten class was a part of a government conspiracy. So, while my mom went to work I didn't go to school. Me and my grandmother would go on random adventures. By time I was six years old I didn't know the names of the different shapes or how to add or even how to spell my last name. Instead I was taught that strangers will decapitate you and that cats know a lot more about the world than people think and that Scarlett O'Hara was the most beautiful fictional character ever created and that mermaids do exist but probably just off the coast of Greece and the world just isn't looking hard enough for them.
We didn't have much money during this time period and my mom caught on when she found out that I failed kindergarten that something wasn't quite right. Sally kept turning off the refrigerator claiming that it yelled obsceneties at her which would spoil all our food when we didn't have the money to constatntly replace our groceries.
After endless fights between the two Sally got kicked out.That's when I stopped talking for awhile. When she slept in the garage I would get up sometimes and go sleep next to her. When she was reduced to the car she wouldn't let me go outside. Someone might kidnap me if I were running around outside in the dark she'd say.
When we moved to Flower Mound everyone started to notice the old lady living in front of our house in a little red Yugo that no longer worked. They all started to talk. My mother grew more and more humiliated.
Soon, she denied her own mother. She told her "you can't stay here, we're towing the car."
After thirty years of being a single mother working three jobs to support my mom Sally was suddenly homeless with nothing to show for it.
Over time she got early retirement. She tried many jobs but her illness caused her to quit or sometimes even get fired. She has an apartment now and on occcasion she'll send me a letter. Every letter says "Thinking of you. Love, Wren."
I don't know who Wren is or what Wren means. I wonder if she remembers me when she was the only person I'd talk to. When I see her on holidays I can tell that she has lapses.
Her illness is the dominant personalty she sits on the porch smoking cigarette after cigarette talking to the air. She can't even hear us when we ask her questions. It takes so much to bring her back to earth.
Though, sometimes I'll ask her a question like remember when we used to have teaparties in Carrolton? or that time you took me to the circus and I was scared the whole time? And she'll laugh and it's not her weird monotone voice for a moment. It's actually her! Sometimes she'll reflect back on those memories with me and I'll actually be with Sally again for sometimes even an hour. I love talkign to her during those lapses but at the same time it hurts so much because I can actually hear her fading back out and her tone changes and then she starts talking to something else and then she can't hear me anymore.
My first best friend, Sally.
Before her illness took over She called me "Kiddo" and "Little bit." She wore black and white polk-a-dot things with frills and she shared her big floppy hats with me. We would build sheet tents with her wicker furniture and eat ramen noodles (the only thing I would eat without havng to be force fed). As her paranoia set in right before she lost her job and eventually her apartment, she had little quirks. She was always scared someone was going to hurt me. She accused people of it constantly. She sat up all night by my side while I slept just in case anything might happen. When wed go swimming I would have to wear a swimsuit with an inner tube built in it while also wearing my floaties just in case I might drown. When we went to the mall or even the grocery store she had my wrist fastened to a child's leash just in case someone might try to run through a crowd of people and snatch me up.
When she moved in with us she was finally diagnosed with schizophrenia but refused to be medicated. When my mom went to work she would leave me with Sally which I was happy about because she was the only grown up I ever really liked being around. Though, she thought my kindergarten class was a part of a government conspiracy. So, while my mom went to work I didn't go to school. Me and my grandmother would go on random adventures. By time I was six years old I didn't know the names of the different shapes or how to add or even how to spell my last name. Instead I was taught that strangers will decapitate you and that cats know a lot more about the world than people think and that Scarlett O'Hara was the most beautiful fictional character ever created and that mermaids do exist but probably just off the coast of Greece and the world just isn't looking hard enough for them.
We didn't have much money during this time period and my mom caught on when she found out that I failed kindergarten that something wasn't quite right. Sally kept turning off the refrigerator claiming that it yelled obsceneties at her which would spoil all our food when we didn't have the money to constatntly replace our groceries.
After endless fights between the two Sally got kicked out.That's when I stopped talking for awhile. When she slept in the garage I would get up sometimes and go sleep next to her. When she was reduced to the car she wouldn't let me go outside. Someone might kidnap me if I were running around outside in the dark she'd say.
When we moved to Flower Mound everyone started to notice the old lady living in front of our house in a little red Yugo that no longer worked. They all started to talk. My mother grew more and more humiliated.
Soon, she denied her own mother. She told her "you can't stay here, we're towing the car."
After thirty years of being a single mother working three jobs to support my mom Sally was suddenly homeless with nothing to show for it.
Over time she got early retirement. She tried many jobs but her illness caused her to quit or sometimes even get fired. She has an apartment now and on occcasion she'll send me a letter. Every letter says "Thinking of you. Love, Wren."
I don't know who Wren is or what Wren means. I wonder if she remembers me when she was the only person I'd talk to. When I see her on holidays I can tell that she has lapses.
Her illness is the dominant personalty she sits on the porch smoking cigarette after cigarette talking to the air. She can't even hear us when we ask her questions. It takes so much to bring her back to earth.
Though, sometimes I'll ask her a question like remember when we used to have teaparties in Carrolton? or that time you took me to the circus and I was scared the whole time? And she'll laugh and it's not her weird monotone voice for a moment. It's actually her! Sometimes she'll reflect back on those memories with me and I'll actually be with Sally again for sometimes even an hour. I love talkign to her during those lapses but at the same time it hurts so much because I can actually hear her fading back out and her tone changes and then she starts talking to something else and then she can't hear me anymore.