Mother fucker...going to leave me cuffed to Claude...

[xxcelebornxx]

So Glorfie decides to leave me cuffed to Claude. Listening to him recite poetry the first few hours was okay, after the fourth hour it began to wear on me. By the fifth, he had to be destroyed. Then there's the damn molestations that never fucking end. The last straw was Bjork. I could handle poetry, the molestations ...but not Bjork. I'm sorry, it

Comments

[earwen]

*hovers spiritlike for a second*

...listen to Glorfie. Just... GAH. CELEBORN!! I've only been gone a week and you've already lost an appendage?!

*sighs in defeat and drops a roll of gauze from no where*

*vanishes*

[glorfind3l]

Incredible, isn't it? >_< *picks up gauze* Thank you. *goes off to closet to get axe, cursing under breath*

*lops off the fucking doorknob and walks into the bathroom* *fights off nausea at the sight of so much blood* You ass. *wraps and tourniquets Celeborn's, uh, stump* We're going to see Elrond to make sure this doesn't get (any more) infected, and then we're going to give a couple of Valar a call. Hook hand-replacements and babies don't mix. *keeping up a steady stream of agitated cursing; wipes some blood off of Celeborn's face and kisses his forehead* Ass.

Re:

[xxcelebornxx]

I don't need to see Elrond or a Valar, I'm fine... all we have to do is burn it.

[glorfind3l]

*blaze* I am not just cauterizing and sticking a Band Aid on the fucking thing. You severed a major artery, and we are GOING TO GET IT FIXED.

[xxcelebornxx]

Burning it is fixing it.

*sighs* Fine. Whatever, Elrond it is.

Re:

[xxcelebornxx]

I didn't do it on pur..

um...

fuck, I'm sorry. :(

Re:

[earwen]

*small piece of paper drops from no where*

Well at least you might get a really cool title from this, like One Handed Dumbass. I mean that with love, really I do. Go find G-g-- he has a shitload of my blackmail books journals to give you before his father burns them all. I love you very much and remember: if the choice comes up of maiming someone else or maiming yourself, ALWAYS PICK THEM.

This message will self destruct in 10 minutes, SO THROW IT AWAY DUMBASS, I mean my sweet boy. Into the trash can, away from Glorfie and the children and your good hand. Away. Farther away. Not there. No, no, not there either. I said AWAY from Glorfie. Not-- ugh fuck it, nevermind, the note will vanish in 5 seconds.

*poof*

[glorfind3l]

The gesture is appreciated.