10.6.7
Man, i have felt just so blah lately. It's like i dont ever want to do anything. I dont want to get out of bed in the morning, so i just lay there, even when i'm wide awake, i dont want to get up and face the world. I dont want to eat. I havent eaten a real meal since i went to olive garden with Lisa and jaunita on wednesday... i dont want to call anyone or see anyone, and mostly i really dont want to work.
I honestly think it's my job. I know i'm not going anywhere with it. I mean the lead position is opening up for my department soon, but it'll be me up against Jackie (the other girl in my dept.) and she can sell better than i can... not to mention our GM is like in love with her, so i know i have no chance. I really do think i deserve it though. I mean i love Jackie to death, but i dont even have full time and she does, which is really really NOT fair at all since she doesnt have open availibility... i mean thats one of the credentials to getting full time, yet i dont have it and she does. It just really urks me.
And it just seems like i'm back to the same old bullshit. I work my ass of for my store and i get no credit. I havent gotten employee of the month once in two years, i've never got an S pin (it's pretty much like a gold star), i never get told good job or anything... i get shit on every fucking day of my life.
I almost quit the other day. I really did. I got so upset that i just went and lay face down on my bed for like three hours, i didnt say a word even when Shawn was talking to me... i didnt cry amazingly... I just really hate my job. I know i need to look for something else.. it's just that i'm so stressed and depressed all the time... it's hard.. I just really wish i could quit and not have to worry about it anymore.
I just wish life were simple again. I wish i was truely happy again. Shawn is like the only thing that keeps me happy.. and some of my good friends , but i never see any of them, so what does that matter.
I gotta leave for work, joy.
I honestly think it's my job. I know i'm not going anywhere with it. I mean the lead position is opening up for my department soon, but it'll be me up against Jackie (the other girl in my dept.) and she can sell better than i can... not to mention our GM is like in love with her, so i know i have no chance. I really do think i deserve it though. I mean i love Jackie to death, but i dont even have full time and she does, which is really really NOT fair at all since she doesnt have open availibility... i mean thats one of the credentials to getting full time, yet i dont have it and she does. It just really urks me.
And it just seems like i'm back to the same old bullshit. I work my ass of for my store and i get no credit. I havent gotten employee of the month once in two years, i've never got an S pin (it's pretty much like a gold star), i never get told good job or anything... i get shit on every fucking day of my life.
I almost quit the other day. I really did. I got so upset that i just went and lay face down on my bed for like three hours, i didnt say a word even when Shawn was talking to me... i didnt cry amazingly... I just really hate my job. I know i need to look for something else.. it's just that i'm so stressed and depressed all the time... it's hard.. I just really wish i could quit and not have to worry about it anymore.
I just wish life were simple again. I wish i was truely happy again. Shawn is like the only thing that keeps me happy.. and some of my good friends , but i never see any of them, so what does that matter.
I gotta leave for work, joy.