What a fuking night
wow.. tonight was fuking horrible. The day started out okay.. its pauls birhtday and he passed his drivers test. He picked me up from school at the end of the day. When we got home he bought a car. A silver Mazda MX-6 LS. He was so happy.. I was so happy for him.. We had been like counting down the days until he got his liscense so obviously today was a big deal. Well we were going to go out to eat but we had no money.. so we decided to go to mc donalds. It was a disgusting day as everyone knows, and you could barely see outside because of the rain. Well.. when we were pulling out of mc donalds thing onto the highway a car smashes into us head on. It was the scariest fuking thing in the world. At first we all (me paul andrew n laura) just sit there in a blank stare.. Then me n laura start freaking out. Omfg it was so horrible..The headlights, the sound, the whiplash, everyone screaming. and just to see the look on pauls face was enough. I felt like dieing right there. The first day he gets his liscense something like this has to happen. I couldnt stop crying. It was one of the worst feelings ive ever felt in my life. I wish we could change the day all over again. Luckily none of us got hurt.. and i thank god for that. Because it could have been alot worse. And I kno Paul's a really good driver.. probably the only teenager that i really would trust. I cant descirbe how horrible i feel right now.. and how scary that was. Oh god and paul forgot his liscense at home. Jesus luckily we live like 2 minutes away and his dad brought it before the cops got there. Well.. we got caught having too many people in the car or whatever. So paul might fuking get his liscense revoked. How beautiful.. the thing we were looking forward to for like 5 months.. I dont understand how someone could be that unlucky. AND to top it all off it wasnt even pauls fault.. but hes gonna get blamed because he just got his liscense. I really hope they dont take it. Omg being in the accident.. even tho no one was really hurt.. made me realize alot of things. I kno its gonna sound dumb but.. like how lucky i am to be alive. And how that could just end.. any second. and iwould never be carlyssa scanlon anymore. Its too much to think about. Death. I think about it alot. And i will even more after this. I realize how good my life is.. and how i dont want to fuck that up. I love my boyfriend, my friends, my family, my dogs, everthing.. my life is so good. It also made me realize how fuking much i love Paul and how much he REALLY means to me. I dont kno what i would do if anything happened to him. If we would have pulled into the intersection differently or whatever.. so many worse things could have happened. I could never see my boyfriend again. Or one of my friends. They make everything so great for me. I dont kno what i would do if i lost any of them. Im so grateful we're all ok. Well im gonna go try n sleep. Talk to you later.
Oh yea..
Happy Birthday Baby =) I love you more than anything, and always will. There will never be a day that me and you aren't together. You're my everything and more. I love you more that i will ever be able to explain.
Goodnight