My World Is Over
Title: My World Is Over
Author: xxcabalinaxx
Rating: PG
Warnings: RPS, some angst, romance, and fluff all in one
Disclaimer: If I owned them do you really think I'd be writing fics about them?
Pairing: Ben Barnes/William Moseley
Summary: Will thinks about how he was such an idiot the day he broke up with Ben.
Notes: Thank you to the amaaazing
barbie_speidel for being my beta for this fic. She gets extra brownie points for going over this fic with me at 1 AM.
My World Is Over
Looking back on it now, Will realized just how big of an idiot he had been the day he had broken up with Ben.
They had been going out for six months. Once the whole orange juice incident had blown over, the two of them had started to get on really well and within a week were snogging against the wall of Will’s trailer. The close friendship came afterwards.
They had kept their relationship quiet. Of course Andrew, Anna, Georgie, and Skandar knew. They were family. You can’t keep something like a boyfriend secret from the people who know you better than you know yourself.
It had been perfect. There was no other word to describe it. Will had been deliriously happy with Ben and had seriously begun to think that maybe what they had could last in the real world, outside of the Narnia set.
He still thinks that they could have made it work. They had discussed the possibility of going public with their relationship, and pretty much outing themselves to the entire world, but at the time they had both agreed to wait a while. With their relationship only being a few months old, the “What If’s?” were to great.
What if no one wanted to see the movie when they found out that two of the main actors were gay? What if no one wanted to cast them for future roles because they were gay? What if Anna and Skandar and Georgie were criticized because they were gay? What if? What if? What if?
But then, a few days after filming had ended, Will had panicked.
He couldn’t remember if he had given a reason or not, but if he had, Will knew it must have been absolute bullshit. He could see the shock on Ben’s face in his mind as if he were reliving it. Will had almost started crying when Ben’s facial expression shifted from shock, to horror, and finally, to grief.
Once Ben had walked away, though, Will let the tears fall and did nothing to quell them as he sprinted to his car.
It took Will nearly two full months to realize the extent of what his foolishness had resulted in. He had become so used to Ben always being there, whether it was in the next trailer over, or a phone call away, that once he was gone, Will was lost.
Old habits die hard and for days Will had woken up fully expecting Ben to be there with a hot cup of tea waiting on the nightstand. Or when there was a thunderstorm and Will wanted nothing more than to crawl into Ben’s arms and just cling to him for dear life every time the building shook because of the thunder. But all he had for comfort was an empty bedroom and a giant sweatshirt that he had borrowed from Ben and never gave back.
The premiere in New York had nearly killed him.
The second Will had stepped out of the limo and spotted Ben, he was sure his hart stopped. The first thing that had come to mind was that he wanted nothing more than to run over, kiss the gorgeous brunette senseless, and never let go. But he couldn’t.
So, he had spent the entire evening with a fake smile plastered onto his face, smiling and waving and answering the same questions over and over again until he thought he was going to pass out.
The same had occurred for the premieres in Japan, Melbourne, Sydney, and Prague.
He was positively dreading the London premiere. If he could, Will was thinking up excuses that could get him out of going. But he had promised Georgie that he would pick her up and there was no way in hell he was going to disappoint his pseudo- baby sister.
Standing there on the red carpet, Will felt like he wanted to die.
It seems like everywhere he looks, there’s Ben. And he’s smiling and laughing and looks like he’s having a good time. And that’s the part that kills Will. Because he feels like he’s dieing without Ben by his side. But it seems like Ben is getting on just fine without him.
Will feels Anna come up next to him and slipped her arm through his. She whispers softly to him, “Will, what on earth are you doing?”
He smiled sadly at her. “I have no idea.”
“Then go do something about it! Will, you’ve been moping around in this fog for months! Just admit that you made a mistake and want to get with him again.”
“No, no, I can’t. Do you see him? That smile? You know he can’t fake a smile to save his life just as I do.”
Anna practically growls. “Will, I love you like a brother, but sometimes I really want to smack you. Open your eyes and look at him!” With that, she walks away to stand with Skandar and Andrew.
Will bit his lip, jaw clenched so tightly he almost draws blood. He sees Ben look at him and smiles hesitantly. Ben’s returning smile is just as nervous.
And then the doors opened and everyone shuffles into the arena.
It’s during the after party when Will and Ben actually come face to face.
Will had retreated into the bathroom to hide from the sight of some girl flirting with Ben. He grasped the white ceramic sink with both hands, chest heaving as he tried to block the burning feeling behind his eyes.
He hears the door open and whirls around.
It’s Ben.
Blue eyes meet brown and the silence becomes deafening.
There are so many things Will wants to say, but the lump in his throat prevents anything from coming out.
Finally, he manages to choke out, “Oh god, I’m sorry. So sorry.”
And Ben is right there, arms wrapped around him so tight Will feels like he’s going to be crushed. But it doesn’t matter because it’s Ben and Will finally feels like maybe his life isn’t over.
He presses his face against Ben’s shoulder and just clings to the older man. “I was such a fool.”
He felt Ben’s chest rumble underneath him as he chuckles. “Yeah, but I was too.”
Will sighed as he felt Ben’s fingers running through his hair. After a few minutes the blonde pulls back and looks up at Ben. “What now?”
Later, Will is talking with some woman from some TV station that he can’t recall the name of. She’s asking the traditional questions about the movie, and the stunts, and how it was welcoming a new person into their makeshift family. Then she starts getting onto the personal questions and Will feels the smile start to grow on his face. He knows what question is coming up and when she finally asks, he knows the grin on his face must be ridiculous.
“Are you seeing anybody right now?”
Will feels someone come up behind him and when an arm slips around his waist he knows its Ben. Leaning into his boyfriend’s side and wrapping and arm around him in turn he smiles up at Ben. Ben swoops down and kisses him quickly and when they pull apart, Will is very glad that Ben is holding him up. “Yeah, I am.”
Author: xxcabalinaxx
Rating: PG
Warnings: RPS, some angst, romance, and fluff all in one
Disclaimer: If I owned them do you really think I'd be writing fics about them?
Pairing: Ben Barnes/William Moseley
Summary: Will thinks about how he was such an idiot the day he broke up with Ben.
Notes: Thank you to the amaaazing
barbie_speidel for being my beta for this fic. She gets extra brownie points for going over this fic with me at 1 AM.
My World Is Over
Looking back on it now, Will realized just how big of an idiot he had been the day he had broken up with Ben.
They had been going out for six months. Once the whole orange juice incident had blown over, the two of them had started to get on really well and within a week were snogging against the wall of Will’s trailer. The close friendship came afterwards.
They had kept their relationship quiet. Of course Andrew, Anna, Georgie, and Skandar knew. They were family. You can’t keep something like a boyfriend secret from the people who know you better than you know yourself.
It had been perfect. There was no other word to describe it. Will had been deliriously happy with Ben and had seriously begun to think that maybe what they had could last in the real world, outside of the Narnia set.
He still thinks that they could have made it work. They had discussed the possibility of going public with their relationship, and pretty much outing themselves to the entire world, but at the time they had both agreed to wait a while. With their relationship only being a few months old, the “What If’s?” were to great.
What if no one wanted to see the movie when they found out that two of the main actors were gay? What if no one wanted to cast them for future roles because they were gay? What if Anna and Skandar and Georgie were criticized because they were gay? What if? What if? What if?
But then, a few days after filming had ended, Will had panicked.
He couldn’t remember if he had given a reason or not, but if he had, Will knew it must have been absolute bullshit. He could see the shock on Ben’s face in his mind as if he were reliving it. Will had almost started crying when Ben’s facial expression shifted from shock, to horror, and finally, to grief.
Once Ben had walked away, though, Will let the tears fall and did nothing to quell them as he sprinted to his car.
It took Will nearly two full months to realize the extent of what his foolishness had resulted in. He had become so used to Ben always being there, whether it was in the next trailer over, or a phone call away, that once he was gone, Will was lost.
Old habits die hard and for days Will had woken up fully expecting Ben to be there with a hot cup of tea waiting on the nightstand. Or when there was a thunderstorm and Will wanted nothing more than to crawl into Ben’s arms and just cling to him for dear life every time the building shook because of the thunder. But all he had for comfort was an empty bedroom and a giant sweatshirt that he had borrowed from Ben and never gave back.
The premiere in New York had nearly killed him.
The second Will had stepped out of the limo and spotted Ben, he was sure his hart stopped. The first thing that had come to mind was that he wanted nothing more than to run over, kiss the gorgeous brunette senseless, and never let go. But he couldn’t.
So, he had spent the entire evening with a fake smile plastered onto his face, smiling and waving and answering the same questions over and over again until he thought he was going to pass out.
The same had occurred for the premieres in Japan, Melbourne, Sydney, and Prague.
He was positively dreading the London premiere. If he could, Will was thinking up excuses that could get him out of going. But he had promised Georgie that he would pick her up and there was no way in hell he was going to disappoint his pseudo- baby sister.
Standing there on the red carpet, Will felt like he wanted to die.
It seems like everywhere he looks, there’s Ben. And he’s smiling and laughing and looks like he’s having a good time. And that’s the part that kills Will. Because he feels like he’s dieing without Ben by his side. But it seems like Ben is getting on just fine without him.
Will feels Anna come up next to him and slipped her arm through his. She whispers softly to him, “Will, what on earth are you doing?”
He smiled sadly at her. “I have no idea.”
“Then go do something about it! Will, you’ve been moping around in this fog for months! Just admit that you made a mistake and want to get with him again.”
“No, no, I can’t. Do you see him? That smile? You know he can’t fake a smile to save his life just as I do.”
Anna practically growls. “Will, I love you like a brother, but sometimes I really want to smack you. Open your eyes and look at him!” With that, she walks away to stand with Skandar and Andrew.
Will bit his lip, jaw clenched so tightly he almost draws blood. He sees Ben look at him and smiles hesitantly. Ben’s returning smile is just as nervous.
And then the doors opened and everyone shuffles into the arena.
It’s during the after party when Will and Ben actually come face to face.
Will had retreated into the bathroom to hide from the sight of some girl flirting with Ben. He grasped the white ceramic sink with both hands, chest heaving as he tried to block the burning feeling behind his eyes.
He hears the door open and whirls around.
It’s Ben.
Blue eyes meet brown and the silence becomes deafening.
There are so many things Will wants to say, but the lump in his throat prevents anything from coming out.
Finally, he manages to choke out, “Oh god, I’m sorry. So sorry.”
And Ben is right there, arms wrapped around him so tight Will feels like he’s going to be crushed. But it doesn’t matter because it’s Ben and Will finally feels like maybe his life isn’t over.
He presses his face against Ben’s shoulder and just clings to the older man. “I was such a fool.”
He felt Ben’s chest rumble underneath him as he chuckles. “Yeah, but I was too.”
Will sighed as he felt Ben’s fingers running through his hair. After a few minutes the blonde pulls back and looks up at Ben. “What now?”
Later, Will is talking with some woman from some TV station that he can’t recall the name of. She’s asking the traditional questions about the movie, and the stunts, and how it was welcoming a new person into their makeshift family. Then she starts getting onto the personal questions and Will feels the smile start to grow on his face. He knows what question is coming up and when she finally asks, he knows the grin on his face must be ridiculous.
“Are you seeing anybody right now?”
Will feels someone come up behind him and when an arm slips around his waist he knows its Ben. Leaning into his boyfriend’s side and wrapping and arm around him in turn he smiles up at Ben. Ben swoops down and kisses him quickly and when they pull apart, Will is very glad that Ben is holding him up. “Yeah, I am.”