Eclipse FAQ: Why XXBurningSoulXX Hates Meyer (Part I Anyways)
Eclipse FAQ: Part I
One Reason Of Anti-Meyerness
Yeah I did. I made a sporking or nit-pick based on the Eclipse FAQ and just to let you know, I'm a beginner. LIKE LEVEL 1! Don't expect this to be a professional-type of thing. I may do the Breaking Dawn and then secretly murder Stephenie Meyer for killing my brain cells realized that my mind might as well "blow-up".
Well without further ado, my (copied and pasted from Word) Eclipse Sporkin', Every question is copyrighted to the fan and Every (lame) answer is copyrighted to Meyer. Sorry if the layout is kind of funky. The purple font is me and the italic is Meyer. Purple is my favorite color; that's why it's in here. Yo.
Enjoy the “nitpick” of Eclipse FAQ. Hopefully you’ll contribute to this section and explain your thoughts on what Meyer and/or I have said in this. Remember This: I’m in Purple and Stephenie is italicized.
The questions will be in bold, obviously. Just saying!
I was doing this on Microsoft Word so there shouldn’t be any or few errors. If there is, please comment below and I’ll edit it immediately. Thanks again for reading!
Website (just in case you want to follow up again or for the first time): www.stepheniemeyer.com
Frequently Asked Questions: Eclipse
**Spoilers contained below**
These questions are the ones I've been answering most during my tour Q and A events. Some of them are the questions as they were asked to me verbatim. Others are distilled from a lot of questions into a more universal and concise form.
Above will be irrelevant to this “nitpicking” but it’s just an explanation of what she’s doing; so is there a point to this? No. Then again, I don’t really care. CONTINUING ON!
Did Jacob imprint on Bella?
No. And this is how you can be sure: in New Moon, after the first time Jacob becomes his wolf phase, he is mean to Bella. He won't tell her what is wrong. He says he can't see her anymore. If he'd imprinted on Bella in that moment (and it happens the first time you see the person after you've phased), he would have answered all her questions. Pretty much, he would have given her anything in the world she wanted. (When he's staring at her on the bottom of page 173 in Eclipse, he's trying to make himself imprint on her. But that's not something you can force.)
What to say. What to say. Uh, first of all, you wrote it. Second, why can he imprint on her? Oh wait, she’s in LOVE with Edward! We can’t change it! OH NOES!!!! Give me a break. This doesn’t explain anything. It’s just more gibberish for me to be more confused by. *sighs*
Who was in Bella's house-the scent no one recognized?
It was Riley. He is not a totally wild newborn-he's past his first year and better able to keep his perspective. If he'd been as strong as the younger newborns in the clearing, Seth might not have won that fight. Also, Victoria prepared him very carefully for the foray. He was (to phrase it delicately) quite well fed before he went to Forks.
Why the hell didn’t you include this in Eclipse in the fucking first place? All of this back-story would have been helpful but until you wrote the useless novella, this wasn’t explained at all. So we’re suppose to assume it was Riley and just assume that he was trained by Victoria to hunt on the Cullens and/or Bella or something like that. Dear God, this is confusing.
What is the most pivotal plot development that happens in Eclipse?
In both Twilight and New Moon, Bella commits to becoming a vampire without once really examining what price she'll pay. In Eclipse, Bella fully comprehends that price. And then she chooses to pay it. Every aspect of the novel revolves around this point, every back story, every relationship, every moment of action.
No, it’s Bella’s not making up her damn mind and whining about how she wants to be with Edward but can’t to this circumstance (does not exist) and then begs for little Jacob and so forth. You expect me to believe that’s what Twilight is about? All about Bella making a choice? Yeah, it’s more like “I’m Stephenie Meyer and I’m horny for two hot fictional douche bags”. I don’t remember much from Eclipse (probably the vagueness and it’s been so long) but it didn’t really clear up anything that I had half expected to see in Eclipse. Whatever, Meyer, you didn’t explain anything other than make another filler like Naruto does.
What are the characters' biggest mistakes in Eclipse, their tragic flaws?
Bella's is a lack of self-knowledge; she never would have pursued her friendship with Jacob if she had realized how much more than friendship it really was. You don't give up your friends when you fall in love; however, you do give up your other romantic interests. If Bella had understood herself better, she could have saved everyone a lot of heartbreak. Sometimes that happens when you try to do the right thing.
I see several things wrong with this:
1) She used him by manipulation in order to use his feelings for her own amusement. In other words, she’s a total bitch.
2) Apparently she gave up hers in order to be happy. Meyer, are you really that stupid?
3) ……SAVED EVERYONE A LOT OF HEARTBREAK?! OH SURE! SO SHE CAN BE FUCKING HAPPY! YOU REALLY ARE A DENSE INDIVIDUAL! WHAT RIGHT THING? SHE GAVE UP EVERYTHING ALL BECAUSE SHE WAS IN DILLUSION THAT SHE WAS IN LOVE WITH A FUCKING DUMBASS, whom you happened to name, EDWARD CULLEN!
I call complete and utter bullshit on Meyer. Her mouth moves but all of the words that come out are complete contradictions of what she actually is trying to say or meant.
Edward's big mistake is overreaction. It's in his nature to be too extreme (see: New Moon). He's a very all-or-nothing kind of person, and it makes him unreasonable. In the beginning of Eclipse, he's too overprotective. When he sees the error of his ways, he goes too far in the other direction. He could have chosen a middle ground-maybe admitted to his jealousy and asked Bella to choose him, rather than watching her get in deeper with Jacob. Of course, he has other issues that make forcing this issue problematic. What if Jacob is better for her? What if Bella could have a more complete life with him? Should Edward really insist that Bella give everything up for vampire life? Or would it be better to let her make a fully informed choice? Can you see his dilemma? Part of Edward wants Bella to choose Jacob (and life).
Jealousy? It sounds like more drama to me. You love that, don’t ya, Meyer? ……He’s a controlling bastard. LET’S GO WITH THAT!
Jacob doesn't have a tragic flaw. He has one goal and one hope. His goal is to save Bella's life. His hope is that he'll win her heart in the process. He fails at both. But that doesn't mean he regrets trying. If he could do it over again, he'd do the same thing. Jacob couldn't live with himself if he didn't give saving Bella his best effort-he knows it's going to hurt when he loses, but he knows it would hurt worse if he didn't try. Does he do everything right? Heck, no! But he's sixteen and he's making it up as he goes along. Those who are upset by some of his tactics should consider his youth and the fact that he is, after all, right. Bella is in love with him. (In the end, it's truly healthier for her to be aware of this as she goes forward with unalterable decisions.)
What's the deal with Bella just falling in love with Jacob in the eleventh hour of Eclipse? Don't you believe in true love anymore? What happened to blacken your soul, woman??
*currently laughing at what’s in bold* So Jacob’s perfect? In every single way? Every fiber of his being is absolutely
I highly disagree. Jacob has many flaws, in which I’ll describe to you in a list because the paragraph form is WAY too long.
Ahem.
1) Jacob is desperate. He wants Bella all to himself but cannot get her due to the fact that she’s too busy horning it up for Edward.
2) He’s a child at times. He always is needy for something and if he doesn’t get it, he’ll whine and moan about it constantly. (See Eclipse and Breaking Dawn)
3) Clingy? Umm, that’s a good word to describe him.
4) He wants love but he’ll never get it and blames it on others. What a pity. L No one has done anything to him expect the bitch called Bella Swan (Yes, Meyer, I’m calling you a bitch).
5) He doesn’t regret trying? …..Good grief…He complains that he regrets. You wrote this crap.
Want me to go on? Yeah, you don’t want me to.
First of all, let me say that I do believe in true love. But I also deeply believe in the complexity, variety, and downright insanity of love. A lucky person loves hundreds of people in their lives, all in different ways, family love, friendship love, romantic love, all in so many shades and depths. I don't think you lose your ability-or right-to have true love by loving more than one person. In part, this is true because you never love two people the same way. Another part is that, if you're lucky, you learn to love better with practice. The bottom line is that you have to choose who you are going to commit to-that's the foundation of true love, not a lack of other options.
True Love doesn’t always include complexity and variety. There has to be some common ground between the two (no matter how the involvement/ relationship started). If you want to have commitment to that person, you’re going to have taken some precaution and some measures in order to see what Love is really all about. It’s not just about living happily ever after or even seeing Mr./Mrs. Right the first time; it’s about how that person takes the road and sees it through either independently or dependent (without the clinginess). Seriously, Meyer? You think practice is going to show what True Love is. No, it isn’t. It’s Experience! Not Practice! So don’t be preaching to your fans about True Love and expecting them to automatically understand it. It doesn’t always work that way. True Love is just another experience; it’s not always a justifiable “cause” or “effect”. Get over yourself.
Next, Bella does not fall in love with Jacob in Eclipse. Bella falls in love with Jacob in New Moon. I think it's easy to understand why this fact doesn't occur to her. Bella has only fallen in love one time, and it was a very sudden, dramatic, sweep-you-off-your-feet, change-your-world, magical, passionate, all-consuming thing (see: Twilight). Can you blame her for not recognizing a much more subtle kind of falling-in-love?
SHE CAN’T MAKE UP HER FREAKIN’ MIND BECAUSE SHE’S TOO BUSY HORNIN’ IT UP FOR EDDY! …..Sudden dramatic moment? Please. More like criticism from Edwerido and bashing her for no apparent reason and then she makes the “comeback” with more moaning and whining. *slap*
Does this love devaluate her love for Edward? Not for me. For me, it makes that perfect true love stronger. Bella has another option. She has a really good one. An option that's easier in many ways, that takes nothing-like her family, present or future-away from her. She would have love, and friendship, and family-an enviable human future. But she chooses Edward over all of this. This makes it real for me.
That’s all I can say about this. Literally.
Allow me to quote from Steve Oedekerk's brilliant Star Wars parody, Thumb Wars:
Loke Groundrunner: "I will go with you and fight!"
Oobedoob Benubi: "Oh, big sacrifice; everyone you knew is dead! Glad you could tear yourself away!"
Wtf? Never mind. I don’t even know what this is. What does this have to do with what you’re trying to tell me or the fans?
Can a werewolf imprint on a vampire? What happens if a vampire bites a werewolf? Will Renee and Charlie flip out about the engagement? Is Jacob gone forever? Will Bella have a superpower as a vampire?
I'm not going to comment on any speculations about future events. No matter what the answer is (ex: *snort* "No, that's crazy!"), I'm still giving you something about the future. I don't want to spoil anything about book four.
…….I just have one thing to say to you, Mrs. Meyer……One thing…..
*sighs* Okay, that's not the only thing I'll say....(my head)
THAT'S BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T DO RESEARCH YOU FUCKING INGORANT BITCH! YOU WON'T FUCKING ADMIT YOUR FAULTS ABOUT ANYTHING! MY GOD, WERE YOU DROPPED AS A INFANT ON THE HEAD?! SERIOUSLY?! BREAKING DAWN DIDN'T DO SHIT! ALL IT DID WAS MADE ME WANT TO KILL A PUPPY! RENEE AND CHARILE BARELY KNEW FUCKING ANYTHING ABOUT IT AND IT WAS ALL SO FUCKING SECRETIVE!
SO FUCK YOU, MEYER! FUCK YOUR LAME ASS STORY AND CHARACTERIZATION AND I HOPE YOU BURN UP IN FLAMES!
Can you get book four out faster?
Ha ha ha ha ha!
No.
(Seriously, I'll be lucky to get it out on schedule.)
Read it. It sucked. Thanks for the shitty ending. (look at rant above)
Read anything good lately?
Yes, I have. Lots of flying = lots of reading. I've been reading mostly advanced reading copies, so none of them are available in bookstores yet. I really enjoyed Dragonhaven by Robin McKinley, a fantasy so realistic you start to believe it's nonfiction (and plan your trip to Smokehill National Park). I also loved Runemarks by Joanne Harris, a core fantasy much like the stories of David Eddings or Terry Brooks, with a cool twist on Norse mythology. And my very favorite recent read was Book of a Thousand Days by Shannon Hale. Her narrator, Dashti, has made her way into my top ten favorite heroines of all time, along with people like Elizabeth Bennett, Anne Shirley, Jane Eyre, Harriet Morton, and Jo March.
Neh. Not really interested in your recommendations right now but Thanks. But did you actually read them? :/ I question stuff like this all of the time. But I'm not going to be rude about it any longer.
Are you going to post outtakes and extras for Eclipse?
Outtakes, no. Why? Because I don't have anything good. I didn't cut anything major or funny this time.
Extras, not for a while. I do have a couple of fairly large extras I want to do, but I can't work on them until I'm done with book four. Eventually, I'm planning to write the story from Bree's perspective-how she met Riley, how life was amongst the newborns, how she found and lost love in the middle of the chaos, how the Volturi were involved, etc. I'd also like to write the alternate ending that I once considered for Eclipse, back when I was under pressure to end the series at three books. I'm looking forward to writing these both up, but don't hold your breath; it's going to be a while.
The Bree Story was a failure by the way. She was just like Bella. Well, she reminded me of her anyways. Rating: -100000000/10 for Failure
And plus, it was boring and it kept dragging on. No interest. And why the hell did---oh wait, more money. Never mind.
Overall this FAQ didn't explain much. It was just more talking about how great the book was and bullshit.
If anyone wants to contribute to this, comment below. Talking to someone usually makes me feel better.
XXBurningSoulXX