so...thoughs

[xxbruised]

Everything is just going so fast and yet so slow all at the same time.I know I'm crazy.But that is how life goes.Maybe I should have gone back on my meds.Anyways...what I was saying.Everything and everyone is kind of drifting.Things change and so do people.Time moves on and so do people.Ok I'm just being stupid with my words now.I just feel like getting things out.This post  is probley just going to be a lot of me rambling on and on about stuff stuff and what not.But most of my entries are like that.But I just feel at a weird place right now.I want to be around people but then I kind of feel like I need space.Then everyone is just so out there and being annoying or doing their own things.I'm like non exsistant to the people I really want to be around.It hurts how you think you can be friends with someone and then it kind of feels like they were never there.It is a strange time in life now.With getting ready to graduate and starting college in July I just don't know what I'm doing.I'm scared that after graduation that I'm never going to hear from anyone ever again.That  I will be alone and do nothing untill college starts where I will be even more alone.Thank god I'm living at home while I'm at college becuase uhh I'd suck with having a roommate.I got an e-mail from the school yesterday about filling out something for roommates and everything.I though about doing it months ago, but I kind of like being at home.Garanteed food and a warm place to sleep at night with family.I would say some mushy stuff about family who loves me, but these days love doesn't exsist in this house.Love doesn't seem to be in my world anymore.It is as if it isn't real.That is was never there and it isn't now.I know I'm going on but hey like I said I'm just getting this out.Its a way for me to vent and get it out of my system since no one will listen and I kind of should get it out.I like want to cry to help as well but can't manage the tears.Sad.But not really.I don't know.I don't know about anything these days.Everything is so blah and random and out there and I'm just not sure about anything anymore.I'm trapped.It sucks.I really does.I don't know what to do about it either.It really is a hard thing.I don't have control over anything.

and thing kind of ended there...might post again later tonight..should go do some homework.laters.