She's That Blade and Your Just Paper
i dunno what to do anymore ... im like the heartbreak chick! i swear no matter who i go out with im still gonna get my heart broken ... god i wish one fuckin mircle could come walking my way and just change my life... cause this isnt what i want... josh hangs up on me .. doesnt call me for days a time and makes plans and then stands me up .. i might as well die.. jeezus! you know i dont want to deal with anymore.. i need sumone who will love and care about me and not just say they love me and then dump me the next... i feel like the whole world is judging me and only making accusations(SP) about me without even talking to me.. people hate me for no reason and its just rediculous.. i make more enemys then friends.. sumtime i wish i could just change for one day and then see who talks to me... or the thens they would say now... i just dont like being judged and my school is all about that... mercedez isnt really a great friend either.. and ive come to realize the only people i have come to trust is rachel and logan ... maybe ryan .. i dunno.. i want to change but im afraid if i do that then my ...vegas.. friends wouldnt like that .. and then that would start im just torn between sides.. i mean i love my style and music taste and friends and stuff but i feel like i can do better and i dont need to be all dark and bleah just to be ... what i thought i was i guess you could say... i told cody that i feel like im just a waste of space... i started my usual cutting again.. im hurting alot of people and i dont know how else to do things.. i cant just have all this stress and heartbreak and shit .. all in one day.. then it turns to weeks and months.. and then its just becomes and everyday issue... i want to change into the person i guess others want me to be cause if i don't im not going to be anything more.. then... dirt... ::sigh::
Shelby..
Shelby..