The most horrible birthday EVER.
Yeah, so I'm pretty much depressed. I spent all of last night crying and all of today crying. My poor family has been trying to distract me by taking me to malls and buying me stuff that I need for school, but it didn't help much. I mean, I know that they care, which is nice... 'cause it's always nice to know that someone cares.
*Cries.* Oh, I can't stand it anymore. I can't stand this horrible, disgusting depression. This sick, sorrowful desolation that's enveloped me. I miss Nicole... I miss everyone. I miss my life. I miss my happiness. I miss my home. My foundation. My family. My reality. My world. I miss everything I had and everything I wanted. I miss feeling loved and wanted and cared for. I miss...
It's so hard to live sometimes. So hard to get up in the morning and look forward to your life.
I can't stop crying and it hurts. Last night I cried so much that I threw up bile.
I guess the whole Piers rejecting me fifty billion times thing is making things worse than they should be. I guess the whole ordeal just sorta broke another piece of my heart and has made me weaker than I normally am... or something. I just really, really adored him... and it's just so hard. But... but... I'll get over it right? If I could survive the break-up between Tim and I, then I can survive this.
I have to make my life better... somehow. I have to pull myself out of this and distract myself from everything that makes me sad and change my life.
I'm most likely going to L.A. for a week in October... then a week in December... then maybe some days in April (or I could have people come here in April during Spring Break). I know I'll be working and doing school work... and talking to friends and being distracted.
Someone help me, please? I'm so lonely.
*Cries.* Oh, I can't stand it anymore. I can't stand this horrible, disgusting depression. This sick, sorrowful desolation that's enveloped me. I miss Nicole... I miss everyone. I miss my life. I miss my happiness. I miss my home. My foundation. My family. My reality. My world. I miss everything I had and everything I wanted. I miss feeling loved and wanted and cared for. I miss...
It's so hard to live sometimes. So hard to get up in the morning and look forward to your life.
I can't stop crying and it hurts. Last night I cried so much that I threw up bile.
I guess the whole Piers rejecting me fifty billion times thing is making things worse than they should be. I guess the whole ordeal just sorta broke another piece of my heart and has made me weaker than I normally am... or something. I just really, really adored him... and it's just so hard. But... but... I'll get over it right? If I could survive the break-up between Tim and I, then I can survive this.
I have to make my life better... somehow. I have to pull myself out of this and distract myself from everything that makes me sad and change my life.
I'm most likely going to L.A. for a week in October... then a week in December... then maybe some days in April (or I could have people come here in April during Spring Break). I know I'll be working and doing school work... and talking to friends and being distracted.
Someone help me, please? I'm so lonely.