its just a feeling....
well this has to be the busiest month of my life...so far! wedding in like 4 days, then a baby shower to deal with. sometimes i wish that i was able to just run away and get away from it all. but thats not gonna happen for a LONG time i guess. how is it that someone can get this thought/feeling into their head and then it never goes away. i think i just have way too much time on my hands to think about stuff and thats why i always feel like shit. but no one will ever see it, cuz im good at hiding it behind smiles and laughter. well im sick of it, im sick of all the bullshit and lil kid games. im 19 yrs old and carryin child. i dont need this, but why do i stick around?? prolly because i care too much and dont want to lose anymore ppl than i already have. everyone sits back and thinks that " oh look at ashley, shes having a baby and yet everythings the same!" well its not like that...not at all. everything changes, including friends! all i want is that stability in my life where i know i have someone who TRUELY cares and will be there for me, besides my family. and even that is going to hell! i fight 75% of the time with my mother and it drives me nuts!!!
as for now..ill prolly continue to hide everything cuz im sick of getting hurt and thinking the worst about every situation. i might as well give up on everything that i want in my life except for my son. hes the only guy that i can trust now........ =(
as for now..ill prolly continue to hide everything cuz im sick of getting hurt and thinking the worst about every situation. i might as well give up on everything that i want in my life except for my son. hes the only guy that i can trust now........ =(