*~*I see your face in every flower, your eyes in stars above.. its just the thought of you*~*
I hate feeling like I'm not a good friend. Everyone else has best friends, but I feel like I'm just an "okay" friend. Not good enough to be a great friend, not bad enough to be not friends with anyone.
I guess it's just that I feel so inadequate in so many aspects of my life right now. It's like I'm an inadequate significant other, an inadequate friend, inadequate daughter, inadequate sister, inadequate student, inadequate worker, I have an inadequate body, inadequate hair, inadequate voice, an inadeqaute freakin everything... I dont know.
It may seem like I'm whining but it just really hurts me. I try so hard to be good at everything I do and it just seems like I'm always second best. There is always something or someone better than me. Or I'm just not good enough.
Ej and I had a huge ass fight this weekend but we definitly needed to get everything out. He needed to know a lot about what I was feeling and I needed to know what he was. I feel a lot better now and actually feel like we are going forward again in our relationship inside of regressing. I was so angry at him for everything. Like I would just get annoyed by him at the drop of a hat. He just wasn't giving me my space. I know that may be hard to believe seeing as though he is all the way in Korea but seriously he was like calling me 5 million times a day and I'm so not a phone person. This whole distance thing sure puts a serious strain on a relationship. I do NOT recommend it to anyone. I know it will be totally worth it in July, but it seems like a million years until then.
Good news though. I found out that the Chelsea Center is available for July 29, 2006 (My wedding day eeeeeeeeeeek!). I'm so excited - the facility is totally gorgeous. Huge glass windows. When I went to Riverviews prom with Shane, the Chelsea Center was where it was located. We will have the reception there and the ceremony at Church on the Rock, of course ;) I can't really believe it is happening...
Found the gown. Totally gorgeous. My sister said she heard it was designed after Donald Trump's wifes gown that she wore at their wedding.
Anyways. My life is a whirlwind of emotions right now.
Show some love guys, I totally need it :)
*~*Cathy*~*
I guess it's just that I feel so inadequate in so many aspects of my life right now. It's like I'm an inadequate significant other, an inadequate friend, inadequate daughter, inadequate sister, inadequate student, inadequate worker, I have an inadequate body, inadequate hair, inadequate voice, an inadeqaute freakin everything... I dont know.
It may seem like I'm whining but it just really hurts me. I try so hard to be good at everything I do and it just seems like I'm always second best. There is always something or someone better than me. Or I'm just not good enough.
Ej and I had a huge ass fight this weekend but we definitly needed to get everything out. He needed to know a lot about what I was feeling and I needed to know what he was. I feel a lot better now and actually feel like we are going forward again in our relationship inside of regressing. I was so angry at him for everything. Like I would just get annoyed by him at the drop of a hat. He just wasn't giving me my space. I know that may be hard to believe seeing as though he is all the way in Korea but seriously he was like calling me 5 million times a day and I'm so not a phone person. This whole distance thing sure puts a serious strain on a relationship. I do NOT recommend it to anyone. I know it will be totally worth it in July, but it seems like a million years until then.
Good news though. I found out that the Chelsea Center is available for July 29, 2006 (My wedding day eeeeeeeeeeek!). I'm so excited - the facility is totally gorgeous. Huge glass windows. When I went to Riverviews prom with Shane, the Chelsea Center was where it was located. We will have the reception there and the ceremony at Church on the Rock, of course ;) I can't really believe it is happening...
Found the gown. Totally gorgeous. My sister said she heard it was designed after Donald Trump's wifes gown that she wore at their wedding.
Anyways. My life is a whirlwind of emotions right now.
Show some love guys, I totally need it :)
*~*Cathy*~*