(no subject)
well.. i was surprised when i got home.. hehe i have great friends..
played v-ball.. swam for like 2 minutes
went to ritas got dawn
pat and rich game over..
now i m at dani's
kinda fell like complete shit.. like not upset just thinking..ya know just thinking about things comin up and i really don't wanna go through it alone.(ya know *that special someone* don't worry i won't go into that)i feel soo empty..goddamn i hate myself sometimes i really do.. i really wish i made better decisions and was lil more smarter.. like i see how i put myself down.. but i also bring sadness upon myself when i make stupid mistakes.. and can't fix them.. i really am an idoit and i will never forgive myself for it.. i m soo hard on myself.. and i kno.. i m starting to go crazy.. i really am enver gunna get over this.. i mean i really can't stop thinking about it.. yeah yeah i kno i kno i m an idiot for typing this at all.. like i m so hung over this thing that i've had dreams about when my life can make sense again.. so many things i wish can happen.. but i also keep thinking about that hes leaving.. (not that changes my decision to wait) i m never gunna get this summer back.. yeah sure he'll be home from time to time.. but hes gunna start work somewhere else and probably more hours.. =( and i kno its stupid to like wait for some1 at a young age or put all ur hope on one guy but if u knew how i felt you wouldn't say that.. and i'm not puttin all my happiness on one person (i m happy just not with a certain part of my life) just fuck me.. i hate me
okay everyone.. am i an idiot for keep typing the same stuff about the same thing over and over again?.. comment (not that ur opinion will change what i write.. i just wanna know)
played v-ball.. swam for like 2 minutes
went to ritas got dawn
pat and rich game over..
now i m at dani's
kinda fell like complete shit.. like not upset just thinking..ya know just thinking about things comin up and i really don't wanna go through it alone.(ya know *that special someone* don't worry i won't go into that)i feel soo empty..goddamn i hate myself sometimes i really do.. i really wish i made better decisions and was lil more smarter.. like i see how i put myself down.. but i also bring sadness upon myself when i make stupid mistakes.. and can't fix them.. i really am an idoit and i will never forgive myself for it.. i m soo hard on myself.. and i kno.. i m starting to go crazy.. i really am enver gunna get over this.. i mean i really can't stop thinking about it.. yeah yeah i kno i kno i m an idiot for typing this at all.. like i m so hung over this thing that i've had dreams about when my life can make sense again.. so many things i wish can happen.. but i also keep thinking about that hes leaving.. (not that changes my decision to wait) i m never gunna get this summer back.. yeah sure he'll be home from time to time.. but hes gunna start work somewhere else and probably more hours.. =( and i kno its stupid to like wait for some1 at a young age or put all ur hope on one guy but if u knew how i felt you wouldn't say that.. and i'm not puttin all my happiness on one person (i m happy just not with a certain part of my life) just fuck me.. i hate me
okay everyone.. am i an idiot for keep typing the same stuff about the same thing over and over again?.. comment (not that ur opinion will change what i write.. i just wanna know)