(no subject)
yay for second time around.
This semester has been filled with mental breakdowns. I've been busy. I need to learn how to express myself as he said. I have been struggling for my whole life with the issue of "why doesnt anyone like me?" I need to stop worrying about if anyone likes me or not.Why do I always worry about this? "I need to stop trying to please everyone," he said. Why should it matter if someone likes me or not. For some reason it does, I'm just to sensitive about things. It is silly to worry about. I need to come to terms with my experiences in Europe, too. Of course the good one were inspiring and motivating, but the bad ones have been eating away at me for some time. I need to be ok with my situation in life and that it is as valid as any other. I'm fucking scared of my future. Constant thoughts of "what am I doing?", "and why am I here?" run through my mind. I dont want my world to come crashing down on me. I don't want to work at my stupid job forever. So, I am going to Chicago to solve some of his issues. I hope that he will be able to quit his stupid fucking job and get one that will make him happy. He's had such a hard, crazy life, and I hope that things start working out. I hope he will achieve his dreams. Isn't that what we want for everyone?
I love my landscape painting class. Today I went to Delray to take pictures of industrial areas. I met a man named rich who owned alot of the buildings and told me to forget everything and just get married. Sounds like a great idea to me.;) He was arrested 14 times. I didn't love that part.
Erin, I feel the way you feel about many things. I'm sorry he can't be here for you. Please try not to worry. I love you.
I wish my dad wouldn't spend money so irresponsibly.