life happens
Fart.
Its a strange feeling to feel more lost but more understanding. All I want to do pretty much is escape from everything, but then I don't feel content in being without everything. Paradox.
My head is just lost
I WISH i was ready. I WISH...I wish I could make this so called dream happen...
but I AM struggling, and I am very strong, but I'm at the point where my mind is just like ahhh i need to breathe
I'm not a fucking miracle maker, I'm not your fucking savior, and I"M YOUNG, AND FUCK YOU FOR NOT EVEN TRYING TO UNDERSTAND MEEEEEEEE INSTEAD OF SAYING I NEVER I UNDERSTAND YOU. I TRY and I TRY....
I EVEN TRY TO CHANGE MYSELF SO I CAN BE EASILY UNDERSTOOD BY YOU- IN THE WAY THAT YOUR MIND WORKS, But its not so easy, and its obviously not working because I can never change me and who I am now is not ready for anything infact i'm so beaten down I NEED TIME to focus and REBUILD a new me without other shit in the way
I know I need to be confident. I need to know I can do everything. And I do think I can change in an instant to become this person. But if I'm unhappy, it makes me weak, and I am not happy. Who knows what will make me happy- if anything. I have that golf-ball in the throat feeling where when you try to swallow the spit goes in the throat but returns again. My eyes ache but will not cry suprisingly.
It wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't blamed for almost everything that goes wrong in someone else's life or everything that someone can't do. Ahh
Can I just go and live off the land and be free for a little while? With some genuinely good people who share the same feeling and just want to laugh. That is my heaven that i dream of. I don't need fancy things at all. Fuck material goods.
Man, this world, no wonder why people fill most of their free time by watching television to escape them from the harsh reality. Beautiful but weird part is that I cannot go back to that. That no longer interests me. It has stolen toooooooooooooo tooooooooo much of my soul and I will no longer let it!!!!
Its a strange feeling to feel more lost but more understanding. All I want to do pretty much is escape from everything, but then I don't feel content in being without everything. Paradox.
My head is just lost
I WISH i was ready. I WISH...I wish I could make this so called dream happen...
but I AM struggling, and I am very strong, but I'm at the point where my mind is just like ahhh i need to breathe
I'm not a fucking miracle maker, I'm not your fucking savior, and I"M YOUNG, AND FUCK YOU FOR NOT EVEN TRYING TO UNDERSTAND MEEEEEEEE INSTEAD OF SAYING I NEVER I UNDERSTAND YOU. I TRY and I TRY....
I EVEN TRY TO CHANGE MYSELF SO I CAN BE EASILY UNDERSTOOD BY YOU- IN THE WAY THAT YOUR MIND WORKS, But its not so easy, and its obviously not working because I can never change me and who I am now is not ready for anything infact i'm so beaten down I NEED TIME to focus and REBUILD a new me without other shit in the way
I know I need to be confident. I need to know I can do everything. And I do think I can change in an instant to become this person. But if I'm unhappy, it makes me weak, and I am not happy. Who knows what will make me happy- if anything. I have that golf-ball in the throat feeling where when you try to swallow the spit goes in the throat but returns again. My eyes ache but will not cry suprisingly.
It wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't blamed for almost everything that goes wrong in someone else's life or everything that someone can't do. Ahh
Can I just go and live off the land and be free for a little while? With some genuinely good people who share the same feeling and just want to laugh. That is my heaven that i dream of. I don't need fancy things at all. Fuck material goods.
Man, this world, no wonder why people fill most of their free time by watching television to escape them from the harsh reality. Beautiful but weird part is that I cannot go back to that. That no longer interests me. It has stolen toooooooooooooo tooooooooo much of my soul and I will no longer let it!!!!