(no subject)
omg i feel like blood.
at school im so fucking happy all the time and joyfull and all that good stuff and then i come home and im depressed angry confused full of hate sadness and i feel like death..
why?
it never used to be like this. never did i think of going home as a "chore".
The ONLY thing i like about going home is so i get to sleep, eat watch gh and see amanda (if she's in a good mood)
And this entire week has been in such overcast its driving me MAD..everything is gray and im sick of it!! I feel like im in a black and white movie and my hair is black my skin is pure white i feel if i were to cut myself my blood would be gray.
Yesterday it wasn't raining and i didn't have to swim. Also this morning JUST as i was about to leave i found one of my bikini's! yay...thats good b/c i'll probley have to swim tomorrow.
I swear i want to bury myself alive in my school....so i would never have to come back here. About an hour ago there was NOTHING to eat so i was like "mom you should go out a maybe get me and amanda you and dad some burgers" and she yelled at me sooo bad i was going to cry..i wanted to scream at her bloody murder "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?!?! WTH IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?!?!
and im glad everyone cares!! (**note sarcassim**)
please ppl dont yell at me...im on the verge of melting down already as it is.
In order for me to get off this ledge, i need someone to help me. Otherwise i'll jump.
someone point me in the right direction and help me.