(no subject)
wow. As you all know, a couple days ago, I posted an entry that was, well, shall we say, was less than nice. Eh, who the fuck am I kidding, it was downright uncalled for. It doesn't matter if what I said was right or not, it's more the fact that I shouldn't have brought up stuff that had nothing to do what I was upset about, and in a fit of my own stupid anger, I brought them up anyway. I thought of only myself and put all the blame on her for something I did myself. I wrecked ny relationship and couldn't come to admit it, so I drank, I pushed emotional boundries, and even let stupid phonecalls from peoplpe who obviously have no life get to me, and I became jealous and untrusting. Now because of my hot headedness, I hurt her very badly. I hurt her in a way I probably have never felt before, and now I feel even worse. She never did anything like that to me, though she very easily could have. I was a TOTAL asshole and I'm really sorry. I understand why you never want to talk to me again or why we can't have a relationship again. I never wanted to hurt you... I really don't even know if you're reading this, but if you are, Caitlin, I still love you and will have one hell of a time getting over the loss but I just wanted to apologize, sencerely.