Dearest 04
Trust
tatsuya
Sometimes, when I woke up in my own bed with a robe around me, I wonder why I even bother continuing with my relationship. It wasn’t like I wasn’t in love with Jin - I was - but a relationship works both ways, and right now, the scale was so heavy on my side that I’m scared that it will break.
“Tatsuya,” Jin said to me once when I returned home late.
It was a surprise to me that he was actually home - I thought the new receptionist at his office would be more entertaining than the previous one.
“Why are you home so late? I called your office, but they told me you had left early. I thought that we could have a nice dinner together for once, because we haven’t had one in awhile. It’s 11 at the moment. Tatsuya, talk to me.”
I stared at him.
“It’s the same reason why you’re on so many business trips, even though 90% of them don’t even concern you and your department. Hokkaido, Jin? I’m impressed; the woman there are acclaimed to be beauties and wild in bed.”
Jin had flushed at that, and didn’t mention it afterwards.
Sometimes, when I wake up and the moon is still smiling it’s angelic smile, I find Ryo sitting on the edge of the bed, playing his guitar so softly I hold my breath to listen. At rare occasions, he even sings, and the songs he chooses to play and whisper brings tears to my eyes.
“Ai ni nante…”
The song that Jin and I first shared a smile to when we first met at my cousin’s wedding.
“Ryo…”
Ryo would look at me with a gaze full of trust, and my heart would ache.
“What is it, Tatsuya?”
“Am I … am I destroying your youth? Someone your age should be out with a girl their age and having fun - not taking place in an affair.”
Ryo would smile gently and I would feel like a child in his arms.
“Tatsuya - you’re ageless. Don’t worry about it. I love you, and the only reason why you’re having this ‘affair’ with me is because I wasn’t born earlier.”
I would laugh and Ryo would once again press his lips to mine, causing all my worries to vanish.
“Ueda - tell me that you’re over this kid.”
I picked at my lunch, not wanting to eat the prawn salad.
Maybe I should take it back and give it to Ryo? He likes prawns…
“He’s not a kid, Nakamaru, and yes, I am still seeing him.”
“It’s a crime.”
“How so?”
Nakamaru pouted and stabbed a potato a touch too savagely for a “hungry person”.
“Don’t be difficult, Tatsuya.”
I looked out the restaurant window, wondering what Ryo was doing now. Was he in class? At band practise? Working an extra shift? Was he thinking of like me like how I was thinking of him?
“Ah!”
Nakamaru gasped and I let my attention swing back to him.
“it’s the affection factor, isn’t it? Jin and you have lost the kindle for your fire and this kid is a substitute!”
I shook my head.
“Jin’s affectionate - just not so recently. I can live with that.”
Nakamaru chewed his bottom lip as his mind frantically searched for answers that might restart my relationship.
My phone vibrated and I smiled as I read the email.
“I need to go, Nakamaru.”
“But what about the meeting at 2?”
I laughed as the taxi I hailed slowed to a stop.
“That’s what I have you for, Nakamaru.”
“Me?”
“I trust you, Nakamaru. Do a great job for me.”
Ryo was waiting, and I was anxious to see him again.