try to get away from it all
i'm currently sitting at the meanwhile by myself. i have no idea whats playing on the jukebox but i like it. i needed to get out of the house. i needed to get out of my own mind. i can't be at home by myself anymore and i don't know why. i can't be by myself in general anymore and i don't know why. i can't be left alone with my own thoughts because they wander to a place where i don't want to be. the fact that i'm completely alone these days is killing me. i have very few friends and there are really only 3 of them that i like spending time with. i've notice lately how incredibly selfish this world is and it makes me sick. i'm one of the most giving and selfless people i know and i didn't think i'd ever be able to say that. i'm seriously considering moving to either Anchorage or Juneau Alaska at some point within the next year. I know i've said it before many times how i just need to "get away." but seriously this time... I'm going to do it. i took the chance to move once before and that didn't really turn out too well. but it was an experience i'll never forget. i need to prove to myself i can start a new life. get new friends. a new job. something new. something refreshing. i've been here too long. i can't handle it anymore. i love this city and i could never imagine living anywhere else but at the same time it's beginning to suck the life out of me. no one here knows me. meg han is the only one who's been able to put up with me for the last 2 years. everyone else has no idea who the hell i am. i dont even know who the hell i am half the time.
this didn't make anything easier.
this didn't make anything easier.