Jan 05, 2005 21:39
well its official. my mother is going to buy me aerobic tapes. im going to lose 20 lbs by june. i swear i will. that 6 months, i know i can do it. i wanna be all cute and little and stuff for when Adam gets out. i cant wait until i see him. i've been thinking about him alot latley. i love him so much. monday after i found out i couldnt go i wus so fustrated, randy makes me so mad sometimes. but i guess i just have to deal with it ; and thats the first time i havent gotten my way in a while. sorry if i sound selfish but i usually always get what i want cuz thats just how it goes. i just hope his mom is doin better - i worry about her all the time! i hope she doesnt get any worse.. and i just wish that she would call me, at least remember too. its okay though, i know things are hard for her right now. i just wish there was something i could do.. and not have to feel like this, im so sick of not being able to have him around. i need to start going to church agian and i need to start over since it is 2005 and everything. i seriously can not wait until june/july cuz my baby gets out & im SO excited to see him. i swear when i do im gonna tackle him ; i just hope feelings dont change. thats what scares me the most.. that hes gonna get out and feel all different and stuff. i swear i hope that doesnt happen. i love him so much. well im gonna go lay down &* try to get some sleep . ive been so exhausted latley --> i dont even know why : probably because ive been soooo stressed about * everything * this whole Adam situation is really starting to get to me but its good to know that we can only talk 3 times in a whole month and not see each other one time and i know that i love him just as much or even more then i did before he left. thats a very reassuring feeling. comment kiddies.
<3 Marissa <3