(no subject)
So this is me... Posting a letter to Tex in hopes that maybe one day he will find it.
Dear Tex,
What happened to us? What happened to everything we had? I don't understand, you know. I don't get why we can't talk anymore. I'm not very happy about it, in case you haven't noticed. In fact I'm kinda to the point where I wake up in the morning, thinking I have nothing to get out of bed for. I don't know why. I guess I just really miss you. Why is it that I have so much to tell you, but I can't tell you, because you won't talk to me? Why won't you talk to me? I know, we haven't really gotten the chance to talk, but you could at least stop when I'm asking you something in the hall. It's really fucking rude to barely even glance at me when I say your name.
I don't get you anymore. I don't know who you are anymore. You used to be this, amazing, funny, sweet, caring guy who absolutely loved life and never wanted to hurt me. What happened to that? What happened to you? Now I hear stories of you smoking cigars and putting your arm around girls who used to annoy the crap out of you. I understand that people change, but why did you have to change for the worse? I don't like who you are anymore. I don't like you at all.
How could you hurt me like this? How could you just act like I'm nothing to you, and I have always been nothing to you? You're trying to pretend that we never had anything. You're trying to act like we never met. And that's not fair. You know we had something. You know you used to love me and I used to love you. Don't deny it, I know you know it was there. It was there, and it was real.
Do you remember the way you used to look at me? It was like... you'd be perfectly fine if I was the only person you were with for the rest of your life. There was so much love there, so much affection. Where did that go? And why did I suddenly stop being beautiful to you and was just "sexy"? And to think you swear you never used me. Do you remember talking about how many kids we wanted, and what career we wanted to take up? Do you remember telling me that we had to make it through your college years? Do you remember anything?
Breaking up with me over the phone was really low. Really fucking low. I felt like you weren't respecting me at all. Nine months together, and did I really mean so little to you that you didn't even have the balls to break up with me in person? You're a coward. You are such a fucking coward. It hurts that I never got to really say goodbye. I'm still... still waiting for you to call back and say you're sorry and you don't know what you were thinking.
I've asked you so many times if we could please stop ignoring each other. And ever time you said "Yeah. Oh yeah, we'll stop.". Liar. If you don't want to talk to me... okay, but at least give me a reason. At least stop lying. Hearing you say that we'll talk to each other again, and then passing you in the hall and not have you even look at me... that's worse then just saying you don't want to talk to me. Tell me the truth, Tex. Stop lying. I can't even count how many lies you've told me, but please, let me know the truth. I know it's going to hurt, but I want the truth from you more then anything else.
Do you think it's pathetic I had to write this? Because I do. You've left so many things unanswered, and refuse to talk to me so... You'll never see this. You'll never hear this. But at least it's here. At least I have it. And if I ever snap, you'll finally know how I feel.
Love Always,
Emily
Dear Tex,
What happened to us? What happened to everything we had? I don't understand, you know. I don't get why we can't talk anymore. I'm not very happy about it, in case you haven't noticed. In fact I'm kinda to the point where I wake up in the morning, thinking I have nothing to get out of bed for. I don't know why. I guess I just really miss you. Why is it that I have so much to tell you, but I can't tell you, because you won't talk to me? Why won't you talk to me? I know, we haven't really gotten the chance to talk, but you could at least stop when I'm asking you something in the hall. It's really fucking rude to barely even glance at me when I say your name.
I don't get you anymore. I don't know who you are anymore. You used to be this, amazing, funny, sweet, caring guy who absolutely loved life and never wanted to hurt me. What happened to that? What happened to you? Now I hear stories of you smoking cigars and putting your arm around girls who used to annoy the crap out of you. I understand that people change, but why did you have to change for the worse? I don't like who you are anymore. I don't like you at all.
How could you hurt me like this? How could you just act like I'm nothing to you, and I have always been nothing to you? You're trying to pretend that we never had anything. You're trying to act like we never met. And that's not fair. You know we had something. You know you used to love me and I used to love you. Don't deny it, I know you know it was there. It was there, and it was real.
Do you remember the way you used to look at me? It was like... you'd be perfectly fine if I was the only person you were with for the rest of your life. There was so much love there, so much affection. Where did that go? And why did I suddenly stop being beautiful to you and was just "sexy"? And to think you swear you never used me. Do you remember talking about how many kids we wanted, and what career we wanted to take up? Do you remember telling me that we had to make it through your college years? Do you remember anything?
Breaking up with me over the phone was really low. Really fucking low. I felt like you weren't respecting me at all. Nine months together, and did I really mean so little to you that you didn't even have the balls to break up with me in person? You're a coward. You are such a fucking coward. It hurts that I never got to really say goodbye. I'm still... still waiting for you to call back and say you're sorry and you don't know what you were thinking.
I've asked you so many times if we could please stop ignoring each other. And ever time you said "Yeah. Oh yeah, we'll stop.". Liar. If you don't want to talk to me... okay, but at least give me a reason. At least stop lying. Hearing you say that we'll talk to each other again, and then passing you in the hall and not have you even look at me... that's worse then just saying you don't want to talk to me. Tell me the truth, Tex. Stop lying. I can't even count how many lies you've told me, but please, let me know the truth. I know it's going to hurt, but I want the truth from you more then anything else.
Do you think it's pathetic I had to write this? Because I do. You've left so many things unanswered, and refuse to talk to me so... You'll never see this. You'll never hear this. But at least it's here. At least I have it. And if I ever snap, you'll finally know how I feel.
Love Always,
Emily