HAHAHA WTF?
01. classic mullet: this specimen is a clear demonstration of a classic mullet. Note how this mullet proudly displays his exotic plumage while in a menacing stance. Classic indeed. The mesh tank-top, digital watch, silver chain, and molester mustache all add points to this fine specimen's overall look and mulletude.
Mulletude: 10
Aggressiveness: 10
Hobbies: football games, wife beating, picking fights.
Sightings: everywhere, there's no escape (see: eyes).
Favorite Band: Steve Miller Band
Example: See Below
2. CamaroMullet: The CamaroMullet used to have full reign over the mullet brethren, but that was back in the 70's and 80's. This species has fallen from grace since, but can still be seen enjoying NASCAR events and shopping at Kragen, or up in the attic cooking up crank. Distinguishing features include: a molester mustache (peach fuzzy), tight-fitting acid wash jeans, and an ever-present key ring hanging from the belt loop.
Feel the mulletude emanating through your computer screen from this rare pic.
It is not recommended you confront the CamaroMullet, for they are very aggressive and cannot be hurt (this might be due to the frequent use of methamphetamines, angel dust, etc.).
Mulletude: 10
Aggressiveness: 10
Hobbies: primering cars, bar fights, picking scabs, losing teeth.
Sightings: Kragen, Grand Auto, working on a Camaro on their front lawn.
Favorite Band: AC DC
Example: See Below
3. midgiemullet: Midgiemullets have the highest MPSI (mulletude per square inch) rating within their species. Irish folklore has it that if you caress the midgiemullet 3 times, you will be blessed with a case and a half of Pabst Blue Ribbon on your doorstep within the next 48 hours.
note: the previous pic has been replaced with a better one.
Mulletude: 10
Aggressiveness: 10
Hobbies: taunting non-mullets, being tossed and bowled.
Sightings: kicking my ass.
Favorite Band: Kid Rock
Example: See Below
4. businessmullet a.k.a. safety cut: These mullets want it all: business in the front, party in the back.
When at work, their mulletude offends and annoys their co-workers, but luckily (and not coincidentally), these mullets are rarely in any position of real power (though they tend to think they are).
Interesting creatures, their hair is short enough not to offend the boss, but long enough to keep their rebellious comrades from becoming suspicious.
Mulletude: 5
Aggressiveness: 3
Hobbies: sexual harassment, taking advantage of intoxicated employees at company gatherings, browsing thru kiddie porn on company time (with stiffy).
Sightings: financial districts, strip clubs.
Favorite Band: Joe Cocker
Example: See Below
12. Frolet:Mysterious. Not much is known about this rare mullet.
This archive photo was taken in 1921 and is believed to be the only picture of a true frolet in existence.
Mulletude: ?
Aggressiveness: ?
Hobbies: ?
Sightings: ?
Favorite Band: ?
Example: See Below
18. permullet: amullet that has been specially treated with a permanent. This primping of the mullethead's plumage means that the subject takes great pride in his her lifestyle.
The permullet tends to be a little less aggressive than his mullet counterparts, most likely because he she doesn't want to taint his mullet with the sweat that would be released in the process of kicking your ass.
Mulletude: 7
Aggressiveness: 5
Hobbies:spitting, cussing, pissing.
Sightings: Monster truck rallies, wrestling events, in front of mirrors.
Favorite Band: Foreigner
Example: See Below
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You learn something new everyday kids < 3
Favorite Band: Steve Miller Band
Example: See Below
2. CamaroMullet: The CamaroMullet used to have full reign over the mullet brethren, but that was back in the 70's and 80's. This species has fallen from grace since, but can still be seen enjoying NASCAR events and shopping at Kragen, or up in the attic cooking up crank. Distinguishing features include: a molester mustache (peach fuzzy), tight-fitting acid wash jeans, and an ever-present key ring hanging from the belt loop.
Feel the mulletude emanating through your computer screen from this rare pic.
It is not recommended you confront the CamaroMullet, for they are very aggressive and cannot be hurt (this might be due to the frequent use of methamphetamines, angel dust, etc.).
Mulletude: 10
Aggressiveness: 10
Hobbies: primering cars, bar fights, picking scabs, losing teeth.
Sightings: Kragen, Grand Auto, working on a Camaro on their front lawn.
Favorite Band: AC DC
Example: See Below
3. midgiemullet: Midgiemullets have the highest MPSI (mulletude per square inch) rating within their species. Irish folklore has it that if you caress the midgiemullet 3 times, you will be blessed with a case and a half of Pabst Blue Ribbon on your doorstep within the next 48 hours.
note: the previous pic has been replaced with a better one.
Mulletude: 10
Aggressiveness: 10
Hobbies: taunting non-mullets, being tossed and bowled.
Sightings: kicking my ass.
Favorite Band: Kid Rock
Example: See Below
4. businessmullet a.k.a. safety cut: These mullets want it all: business in the front, party in the back.
When at work, their mulletude offends and annoys their co-workers, but luckily (and not coincidentally), these mullets are rarely in any position of real power (though they tend to think they are).
Interesting creatures, their hair is short enough not to offend the boss, but long enough to keep their rebellious comrades from becoming suspicious.
Mulletude: 5
Aggressiveness: 3
Hobbies: sexual harassment, taking advantage of intoxicated employees at company gatherings, browsing thru kiddie porn on company time (with stiffy).
Sightings: financial districts, strip clubs.
Favorite Band: Joe Cocker
Example: See Below
12. Frolet:Mysterious. Not much is known about this rare mullet.
This archive photo was taken in 1921 and is believed to be the only picture of a true frolet in existence.
Mulletude: ?
Aggressiveness: ?
Hobbies: ?
Sightings: ?
Favorite Band: ?
Example: See Below
18. permullet: amullet that has been specially treated with a permanent. This primping of the mullethead's plumage means that the subject takes great pride in his her lifestyle.
The permullet tends to be a little less aggressive than his mullet counterparts, most likely because he she doesn't want to taint his mullet with the sweat that would be released in the process of kicking your ass.
Mulletude: 7
Aggressiveness: 5
Hobbies:spitting, cussing, pissing.
Sightings: Monster truck rallies, wrestling events, in front of mirrors.
Favorite Band: Foreigner
Example: See Below
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You learn something new everyday kids < 3