terrible
last night i did the most depressing thing i think i've ever done.
sat at home, took a few shots of Captain morgan 100 proof rum, drank about 6 beers, was looking at my 2005 yearbook, while listening to Death Cabs Transatlanticism, just thinking about how much shit i missed out on, and how many good ppl i will never see or hear from again, and how i was practically unknown for the 3 years i went there, but just sat back and watched everyone else.
i have also come to realization that my life will most likely have a spike to turn back into a positive path, every year just keeps getting worse, and its like every year i say "well at least it cant get worse than this" and it does!
i mean i went from having it pretty good in 2005 with tons of friends, playing in a fun band and just over all such good times, and progressively each year goes down hill, it is just so unreal.
there is no such thing as a "party" anymore or any chance of me meeting a girl, or a girl liking me, or just sitting in a basement with some friends doing nothing at all, now that doesnt even exsist! its like a constant battle just to make it through a regular day not thinking about all these negative things my life has equaled up to.
what will be the turn-around point in my life? i feel like i will never have a career or get married or have kids, my life is going by so fast and i have no stability.
when i was younger i thought everything would just fall into place like my parents' did, have a girlfriend for a while, get married, have a house, have some kids, and just have the nice perfect life, but i guess thats just all hollywood now....
im out, hopefully i do something tonight, cause i dont feel like drinking after writing this entry and being depressed as fuck
sat at home, took a few shots of Captain morgan 100 proof rum, drank about 6 beers, was looking at my 2005 yearbook, while listening to Death Cabs Transatlanticism, just thinking about how much shit i missed out on, and how many good ppl i will never see or hear from again, and how i was practically unknown for the 3 years i went there, but just sat back and watched everyone else.
i have also come to realization that my life will most likely have a spike to turn back into a positive path, every year just keeps getting worse, and its like every year i say "well at least it cant get worse than this" and it does!
i mean i went from having it pretty good in 2005 with tons of friends, playing in a fun band and just over all such good times, and progressively each year goes down hill, it is just so unreal.
there is no such thing as a "party" anymore or any chance of me meeting a girl, or a girl liking me, or just sitting in a basement with some friends doing nothing at all, now that doesnt even exsist! its like a constant battle just to make it through a regular day not thinking about all these negative things my life has equaled up to.
what will be the turn-around point in my life? i feel like i will never have a career or get married or have kids, my life is going by so fast and i have no stability.
when i was younger i thought everything would just fall into place like my parents' did, have a girlfriend for a while, get married, have a house, have some kids, and just have the nice perfect life, but i guess thats just all hollywood now....
im out, hopefully i do something tonight, cause i dont feel like drinking after writing this entry and being depressed as fuck