mistake...
hi journal,
I made a big mistake. i shouldn't have ignored des. i didnt mean to. i guess i was too busy talking to brittnay. i dont think brittnay and i would get along that well. we are too much alike. but des on the other hand. she seems like the person that i could probally marry. lol. i dont know tho. i think i made a really bad mistake. now if des will talk to me the same again. she called me but i did not answer. i dont know why i didnt answer but im a fuckin asshole. from this point on, im going to focus on des and no one else. shes such a sweet girl. and im very attracted to her as well.
well anyways. tonite sucked ass. to start things off i woke up at 6:30. but wal-mart did call me today and im going in for an interview. woot! woot! im gonna be working at wally world! haha. a strange number called me today and i dont know who it was. some 703 area code. and i looked it area code up online and its a viginia area code. hmmm i know noone in virginia.
i was talking to someone from italy and i found out that i dont like talking to that person. shes just too... ummm... simple. yea thats the word. simple. she is really pretty tho. shes french, korean, and irish. almost like me. eh.. ill still talkto her tho. im not going to STOP talking to her cause i think shes simple minded. besides we had fun talking on the microphone thingy. i couldnt stop laughing and niether could she.
brittnay was difficult tonite.at first things started off cool. she listened to me play guitar for a while and she made a picture for me. i thought that was nice. than i wanted to start wearing eyeliner again. so i went to wal-mart and got some cheap shit. which i regret. cause brittnay made me feel like shit.. "you just didnt apply it right, thats all" and the irony is that i always put it on that way.. im kinda emo about the whole subject but what she 'THOUGHT MEANT' (noticed the past tense.. haha) a lot to me. i dont know why. i barely know the girl. but anyways. i dont care anymore. so it really doesnt matter. im not going to stop talking to her. but im gonna cutit down a tad.
amery was sad tonite. i felt bad. cause i felt like shit too, thanks to someone. i thin it was pretty much the same shit i was going thru. shes a pretty girl but she feels like she needs the attention. just like me. i crave attention but i dont like to ask for it. and if i dont get it. i get all emo about it. eh. maybe its cause ive been a loner for a while. shit 11-7 months ago id be running away from the attention.. cause i got too much of it! everyone wouldnt leave me alone. maybe its cause i worked at BP and everyone got their gas there and food or what not (beer) lol and they would see me working with my nametag. and they be like "HOWS IT GOIN ROB?? WHEN YOU GET OFF WORK? YOU WANNA HANG OUT WHEN YA GET OFF?" and i wouldnt even know the people. i guess i can never be satisfied, when i have a shit load of attention for a long period of time i dont want it and vise versa. why cant it just fall in between? im not going to try to understand it all
i had this gut feeling today that my life in going to change BIG TIME. i dunno if its gonna be good or bad. i get preminitions.. not clear ones.. just feelings.. i dont try to understand those either. but its going to be soon.. i feel it. im so anxious to see what this change is going to be.
well im more fuckin tired than a beaten slave monkey on downers. so im gonna try and get some sleep and prepare myself for my interview with wal mart.. please i hope i wake up before ATLEAST 2pm. i need to call them. i need a job. more money moremoney. lol.. ok well ill write in here some other time and "god, fuck you, you suck"
buh bye
I made a big mistake. i shouldn't have ignored des. i didnt mean to. i guess i was too busy talking to brittnay. i dont think brittnay and i would get along that well. we are too much alike. but des on the other hand. she seems like the person that i could probally marry. lol. i dont know tho. i think i made a really bad mistake. now if des will talk to me the same again. she called me but i did not answer. i dont know why i didnt answer but im a fuckin asshole. from this point on, im going to focus on des and no one else. shes such a sweet girl. and im very attracted to her as well.
well anyways. tonite sucked ass. to start things off i woke up at 6:30. but wal-mart did call me today and im going in for an interview. woot! woot! im gonna be working at wally world! haha. a strange number called me today and i dont know who it was. some 703 area code. and i looked it area code up online and its a viginia area code. hmmm i know noone in virginia.
i was talking to someone from italy and i found out that i dont like talking to that person. shes just too... ummm... simple. yea thats the word. simple. she is really pretty tho. shes french, korean, and irish. almost like me. eh.. ill still talkto her tho. im not going to STOP talking to her cause i think shes simple minded. besides we had fun talking on the microphone thingy. i couldnt stop laughing and niether could she.
brittnay was difficult tonite.at first things started off cool. she listened to me play guitar for a while and she made a picture for me. i thought that was nice. than i wanted to start wearing eyeliner again. so i went to wal-mart and got some cheap shit. which i regret. cause brittnay made me feel like shit.. "you just didnt apply it right, thats all" and the irony is that i always put it on that way.. im kinda emo about the whole subject but what she 'THOUGHT MEANT' (noticed the past tense.. haha) a lot to me. i dont know why. i barely know the girl. but anyways. i dont care anymore. so it really doesnt matter. im not going to stop talking to her. but im gonna cutit down a tad.
amery was sad tonite. i felt bad. cause i felt like shit too, thanks to someone. i thin it was pretty much the same shit i was going thru. shes a pretty girl but she feels like she needs the attention. just like me. i crave attention but i dont like to ask for it. and if i dont get it. i get all emo about it. eh. maybe its cause ive been a loner for a while. shit 11-7 months ago id be running away from the attention.. cause i got too much of it! everyone wouldnt leave me alone. maybe its cause i worked at BP and everyone got their gas there and food or what not (beer) lol and they would see me working with my nametag. and they be like "HOWS IT GOIN ROB?? WHEN YOU GET OFF WORK? YOU WANNA HANG OUT WHEN YA GET OFF?" and i wouldnt even know the people. i guess i can never be satisfied, when i have a shit load of attention for a long period of time i dont want it and vise versa. why cant it just fall in between? im not going to try to understand it all
i had this gut feeling today that my life in going to change BIG TIME. i dunno if its gonna be good or bad. i get preminitions.. not clear ones.. just feelings.. i dont try to understand those either. but its going to be soon.. i feel it. im so anxious to see what this change is going to be.
well im more fuckin tired than a beaten slave monkey on downers. so im gonna try and get some sleep and prepare myself for my interview with wal mart.. please i hope i wake up before ATLEAST 2pm. i need to call them. i need a job. more money moremoney. lol.. ok well ill write in here some other time and "god, fuck you, you suck"
buh bye