find another friend and you [[discard]]
i like to look up words i already know the meaning of
with the hopes of getting a better idea of how they can be used
today was a slight waste of my life
but i was still there
it's good to know tomorrow will be much like today
in a way it was a bit... relaxing
and a nice change
i don't mind 'pointless' school days
it gives me a chance to think and catch up
this "childhood" theme in creative writing has brought me to a strange revelation
i lived in the cities for the first 4 years of my life
i moved here when i was five
and my parents divorced when i was 8
i previously felt that my childhood ended at 8, when my parents divorced
mainly because i felt my family had ended
and i was, therefore, on my own
but i've realized, that for all these entries about our childhood that we're required to write about
i've drawn on ONLY my 4 years in the cities
nothing after
i've written about three stories
and mentioned numerous, numerous "favorites"
from when i was 4 and younger
but the young age isn't what shocks me
it's the fact that i don't consider anything after that as my childhood
i know that i feel my childhood in the cities was a completely different life than my 'childhood' here
maybe everything that happened here, everything i've chosen to forget
has convinced me i never had a childhood here
funny how i remember so much from when i was 4, 5, and 6
but from 8 to 15 everything is... gone
it's either extremely painful, or just completely gone
sometimes, something will trigger a memory i've blocked
and when i remember it
it's like it just happened
i suppose that only proves how powerful my mind can be
it came to me sooner than i had expected
but today i realized i know what i'm going to do for the rest of my life
it's weird
it's almost like a vision
well, that's not exactly true
it is a vision
as i read about the 5th amendment, court proceedings, legal terminology
i just felt like.. i already knew it all
like as i read i was agreeing in my head
like it was all drawn from a 'second nature'
i visioned odd things
like..
law school
ADA
New York
the average age of a New York Assistant District Attorney is 28 years
i don't know what the significance of that is, but i often find myself mentally repeating it.
almost as if i'm reassuring myself that it's possible
a humanitarian
is what you once said
and i suspect, in a reserved way, i probably will be
you are omniscient, after all
at least i know
should i ever be convicted of a crime
this journal will be the perfect evidence for my probable plea of insanity
something for you all to mentally chew on
to quote Lisa's (zirotess) journal:
Yesterday, my professor's assistant in psychology just announced that "it's not the kids fault for being greedy, but rather it's because he's conditioned to be that way." and where is he conditioned to be practical? I suppose practicality is an overlooming innate quality that is subject to be conditioned. Overall message? Denied.
Psychologists throw their definitions around too loosely. You can't use the term conditional and then subdivide a research into different interference's of the same permanancy. This is where irrational propaganda's are born and bred.
this got me thinking, hence the reason it's in here
it is evident that the err of human is inescapable
even by those who are presumed and expected, by society, to be the most practical and least subjective
realizing something like that can be rather disheartening
i believe people make most of their mistakes by allowing their opinions to seep into the message they communicate
the result of arrogance, maybe
the real cause being irrelevant in the end
people often believe because something is complicated, it's right
they should bear in mind the world works in simple ways as well
(top of paper)
Dear Ms. Emily Lorraine Larson -
Please come to D-town tonight
to get me away from my house
from these people
this routine
this life
you are the only one who knows what i'm saying
and what to say in return
i would appreciate it if we could converse tonight
it is essential to my sanity
thank you
Sincerely,
(signed) Colleen Javorina
(bottom of paper)
(fold. seal. send.)
with the hopes of getting a better idea of how they can be used
today was a slight waste of my life
but i was still there
it's good to know tomorrow will be much like today
in a way it was a bit... relaxing
and a nice change
i don't mind 'pointless' school days
it gives me a chance to think and catch up
this "childhood" theme in creative writing has brought me to a strange revelation
i lived in the cities for the first 4 years of my life
i moved here when i was five
and my parents divorced when i was 8
i previously felt that my childhood ended at 8, when my parents divorced
mainly because i felt my family had ended
and i was, therefore, on my own
but i've realized, that for all these entries about our childhood that we're required to write about
i've drawn on ONLY my 4 years in the cities
nothing after
i've written about three stories
and mentioned numerous, numerous "favorites"
from when i was 4 and younger
but the young age isn't what shocks me
it's the fact that i don't consider anything after that as my childhood
i know that i feel my childhood in the cities was a completely different life than my 'childhood' here
maybe everything that happened here, everything i've chosen to forget
has convinced me i never had a childhood here
funny how i remember so much from when i was 4, 5, and 6
but from 8 to 15 everything is... gone
it's either extremely painful, or just completely gone
sometimes, something will trigger a memory i've blocked
and when i remember it
it's like it just happened
i suppose that only proves how powerful my mind can be
it came to me sooner than i had expected
but today i realized i know what i'm going to do for the rest of my life
it's weird
it's almost like a vision
well, that's not exactly true
it is a vision
as i read about the 5th amendment, court proceedings, legal terminology
i just felt like.. i already knew it all
like as i read i was agreeing in my head
like it was all drawn from a 'second nature'
i visioned odd things
like..
law school
ADA
New York
the average age of a New York Assistant District Attorney is 28 years
i don't know what the significance of that is, but i often find myself mentally repeating it.
almost as if i'm reassuring myself that it's possible
a humanitarian
is what you once said
and i suspect, in a reserved way, i probably will be
you are omniscient, after all
at least i know
should i ever be convicted of a crime
this journal will be the perfect evidence for my probable plea of insanity
something for you all to mentally chew on
to quote Lisa's (zirotess) journal:
Yesterday, my professor's assistant in psychology just announced that "it's not the kids fault for being greedy, but rather it's because he's conditioned to be that way." and where is he conditioned to be practical? I suppose practicality is an overlooming innate quality that is subject to be conditioned. Overall message? Denied.
Psychologists throw their definitions around too loosely. You can't use the term conditional and then subdivide a research into different interference's of the same permanancy. This is where irrational propaganda's are born and bred.
this got me thinking, hence the reason it's in here
it is evident that the err of human is inescapable
even by those who are presumed and expected, by society, to be the most practical and least subjective
realizing something like that can be rather disheartening
i believe people make most of their mistakes by allowing their opinions to seep into the message they communicate
the result of arrogance, maybe
the real cause being irrelevant in the end
people often believe because something is complicated, it's right
they should bear in mind the world works in simple ways as well
(top of paper)
Dear Ms. Emily Lorraine Larson -
Please come to D-town tonight
to get me away from my house
from these people
this routine
this life
you are the only one who knows what i'm saying
and what to say in return
i would appreciate it if we could converse tonight
it is essential to my sanity
thank you
Sincerely,
(signed) Colleen Javorina
(bottom of paper)
(fold. seal. send.)