even though you told me to, i probably won't
today was basically pointless
i slept like.. 70% of the day
last week pretty much sucked the life out of me
as will this week
double practice?
sick
how about i hurl myself off the bridge
competition = 7 days
yeah
hi
my name is colleen
and i'm stressed
monday is two days away
and i still haven't had my fill of sleep
what, oh what, can i do about that?
i hate offering
because that's how i feel everytime you decline
which, in retrospect, feels like everytime i've asked
maybe that's why i gave up
the fact that my uncle is in a box
6 feet under the ground
really disturbs me
to the point where i won't fully accept it
there's something about that
that makes me feel ill
maybe it's because now he can't get out
now it's true
or now it's too late to see him ever again
isn't that scary?
i'll never see him again
that's really scary
enough to make you cry
i didn't like walking away from the casket
it was like
ok, he has to come with. we can't leave him here, it's freezing.
yeah, the fact that it was cold really bothered me
he must have been freezing.
i still haven't processed it.
it still hurts too much.
this one time i had this dream,
where i came to the realization that one day i was going to be raped
just because so many people are
i was so sure, almost as if God himself had told me
and then it shifted scenes, and i was being raped
and that was the end
strange i should remember it
it wasn't all that recent
but it was weird
because it was like
'maybe i will get raped'
i'm pretty sure i'm not strong enough to recover from something like that
i'd prolly be broken for the rest of my life
i hate it when i miss people
because it's usually people i don't see for a reason
and right now,
i really miss some one
and it's making me lonely
everytime they leave
i feel really bad
like i just missed my chance of a lifetime
i slept like.. 70% of the day
last week pretty much sucked the life out of me
as will this week
double practice?
sick
how about i hurl myself off the bridge
competition = 7 days
yeah
hi
my name is colleen
and i'm stressed
monday is two days away
and i still haven't had my fill of sleep
what, oh what, can i do about that?
i hate offering
because that's how i feel everytime you decline
which, in retrospect, feels like everytime i've asked
maybe that's why i gave up
the fact that my uncle is in a box
6 feet under the ground
really disturbs me
to the point where i won't fully accept it
there's something about that
that makes me feel ill
maybe it's because now he can't get out
now it's true
or now it's too late to see him ever again
isn't that scary?
i'll never see him again
that's really scary
enough to make you cry
i didn't like walking away from the casket
it was like
ok, he has to come with. we can't leave him here, it's freezing.
yeah, the fact that it was cold really bothered me
he must have been freezing.
i still haven't processed it.
it still hurts too much.
this one time i had this dream,
where i came to the realization that one day i was going to be raped
just because so many people are
i was so sure, almost as if God himself had told me
and then it shifted scenes, and i was being raped
and that was the end
strange i should remember it
it wasn't all that recent
but it was weird
because it was like
'maybe i will get raped'
i'm pretty sure i'm not strong enough to recover from something like that
i'd prolly be broken for the rest of my life
i hate it when i miss people
because it's usually people i don't see for a reason
and right now,
i really miss some one
and it's making me lonely
everytime they leave
i feel really bad
like i just missed my chance of a lifetime