blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhbahansafsldkjf
well 9 years ago today my sisters died.
i thought it was sunday, but i forgot all about
it, sunday was the day they went into shock or whatever
and got taken to the hospital,.. and sunday is the first
day they spoke when they woke up. then later on this day
9 years ago, they died in my mom's arms..
it hurts me alot, but not as bad as it hurts my mom
she hasn't talked to any of us all day, she's still sleeping
she woke up and her eyes were puffy and she just went back
to sleep. i wish she could talk it out, but she never speaks
a word of it. and if anyone speaks it around her she leaves
the room. it's sad, and depressing i wish i could help but
this is one thing i know i just can't help with, because
it's some thing that i myself need help with.
on a diff. note, i slept alot i'm feeling some what better
i threw up like 40.4,090,9898 times today. and it sucks
because i can not eat anything, litterally everything i eat
i vomit, and i had ONE BIGHT OF A BANANA... yeah guess what
banana's are not fun to purge, they came up as FOAMY GOOSHY NASTIENESS..
discusting. i got medication though and tomorow i should be feeling better.
i hope so
if i feel better tomorow, i'm gunna wake up around 830
clean the house, get everything done && then go shopping &
get an outfit for sunday night (( going to see a band , "art of change") )
there really good, and super hot !! :-D. i guess salina is going with me
but who knows, .. her and deanna are friends again.. yeah that's gross but
whatever. her disision... umm mitchel is supposed to come over tomorow
for lunch. i miss him, i feel wierd around him now because it's like akward
knowing i don't like him at all any more as anything more then a friend.
so it's like wierd,.. but he is my best friend in the WHOLE WORLD!!!
and i love him to pieces. so yeah.. he is sweet cause i said so..
uhm.. it's also his bday sunday, so i'm not sure
what i'm doing for that, idk what to get him.. idkk
anything i'm stupid.. but i'm going shopping for his
presant with my madre tomorow night..
:-x and i haven't talked, i don't wanna talk to him
i just wanna cry? .. idk what i want it just really
hurts me, and idk what hurts.. knowing i'll never have him
or knowing that i'm a stupid whore bitch asss monkey fuck
who likes a 23 year old guy, who has a girlfriend who he loves
hits on every girl that comes around, .. and doesn't give a
fuck about me.. idkk it's a tie
i'm soo stupid i hate it.
i just wanna find someone. wtf is wrong with me
i have someone, i just dont pay attention to him
any more, cause i'm scared to commit to anything/anyone
i'm lazy
i'm retarted..
dude wtf.
i'm so.. B L A H
i thought it was sunday, but i forgot all about
it, sunday was the day they went into shock or whatever
and got taken to the hospital,.. and sunday is the first
day they spoke when they woke up. then later on this day
9 years ago, they died in my mom's arms..
it hurts me alot, but not as bad as it hurts my mom
she hasn't talked to any of us all day, she's still sleeping
she woke up and her eyes were puffy and she just went back
to sleep. i wish she could talk it out, but she never speaks
a word of it. and if anyone speaks it around her she leaves
the room. it's sad, and depressing i wish i could help but
this is one thing i know i just can't help with, because
it's some thing that i myself need help with.
on a diff. note, i slept alot i'm feeling some what better
i threw up like 40.4,090,9898 times today. and it sucks
because i can not eat anything, litterally everything i eat
i vomit, and i had ONE BIGHT OF A BANANA... yeah guess what
banana's are not fun to purge, they came up as FOAMY GOOSHY NASTIENESS..
discusting. i got medication though and tomorow i should be feeling better.
i hope so
if i feel better tomorow, i'm gunna wake up around 830
clean the house, get everything done && then go shopping &
get an outfit for sunday night (( going to see a band , "art of change") )
there really good, and super hot !! :-D. i guess salina is going with me
but who knows, .. her and deanna are friends again.. yeah that's gross but
whatever. her disision... umm mitchel is supposed to come over tomorow
for lunch. i miss him, i feel wierd around him now because it's like akward
knowing i don't like him at all any more as anything more then a friend.
so it's like wierd,.. but he is my best friend in the WHOLE WORLD!!!
and i love him to pieces. so yeah.. he is sweet cause i said so..
uhm.. it's also his bday sunday, so i'm not sure
what i'm doing for that, idk what to get him.. idkk
anything i'm stupid.. but i'm going shopping for his
presant with my madre tomorow night..
:-x and i haven't talked, i don't wanna talk to him
i just wanna cry? .. idk what i want it just really
hurts me, and idk what hurts.. knowing i'll never have him
or knowing that i'm a stupid whore bitch asss monkey fuck
who likes a 23 year old guy, who has a girlfriend who he loves
hits on every girl that comes around, .. and doesn't give a
fuck about me.. idkk it's a tie
i'm soo stupid i hate it.
i just wanna find someone. wtf is wrong with me
i have someone, i just dont pay attention to him
any more, cause i'm scared to commit to anything/anyone
i'm lazy
i'm retarted..
dude wtf.
i'm so.. B L A H