Call of the Moon
Title: Call of the Moon (1/3)
Characters/Pairings: Lavender Brown, Hermione Granger, George Weasley
Rating: PG
Word count: 3852
Warnings: DH spoilers, character death, very minor bad language and some blood.
Summary: Lavender Brown is left scarred, both physically and mentally, from Fenrir Greyback’s attack. Reduced to half the girl she used to be, she strikes up a friendship in the most unlikely place and she learns that she still may get her happy ending.
AN: I’ve changed some bits of Lavender’s attack, looking back I know that Greyback wasn’t the one that fell from the banisters with her but in this he does. This is unbetaed so sorry for any mistakes.
Call of the Moon
Run, Lavender, run. I mentally yell at myself as I run through the corridors of Hogwarts, trying desperately to escape and occasionally throwing curses behind me. My ears listen out for the sound of a body falling but it never comes, not that I really expected it to happen anyway.
I know I’m a coward, and I hate myself for it. All around me I see students my own age, some younger, fighting to the death and all I can do is run away. I should have left with the younger ones. I’m not Gryffindor material, I’m not brave and this is proof. I wanted to stay, wanted to prove myself, wanted to prove that I’m not just some teenage girl who only cares about make-up charms, boys and the latest gossip but in reality, that’s what I am.
I thought I’d be able to fight, that’s what I spent most of my free time in my fifth year doing, in DA meetings. Well, only after I’d accepted that Harry was telling the truth and that You-Know-Who had returned. That’s another thing I feel guilty about, not believing him, not believing that poor Cedric Diggory had been murdered by him. Somehow I’d managed to convince myself that he wasn’t back and there wouldn’t be a war. Even tonight I hadn’t fully believed it, hadn’t allowed myself to believe, which is part of the reason I stayed behind to fight. Then when I left the Room of Requirement it began to sink in, the reality of war.
My legs are beginning to ache and I have a stitch in my side but I keep running, desperate to get away because I know who is following me and I know what he is capable of doing. His laughter echoes through the corridors, the sound bouncing off the walls. He’s getting closer. He’s catching up.
Tears start to flow and soon I’m sobbing because I know that this is the end. I’ll never see my mum and dad again or my little sister who I’ve always thought was a great pain. I’m going to be torn to pieces and no one will ever be able to recognise me and I won’t get a proper send off, no burial, and my family will always wonder what happened to their eldest daughter.
A piece of rubble on the floor trips me up and I fall, cutting my knees and the blood begins to trickle down my legs. This isn’t good, it’s given him time to catch up with me and now I’m in pain too. I see the balcony in front of me, it’s within reaching distance and if I can just reach the stairs I’ll be okay, nearly there, just a few more steps…
“Oh no you don’t.”
A hand reaches out and grabs my arm, twisting me to face him and I can feel myself tremble. He’s getting closer to me and I try and get his hand off my arm, but he’s too strong and I find myself backing up against the banisters, trying to get as much distance between us as possible even though I know there’s nowhere to go.
“Nowhere to run now, my dear,” Fenrir grinned, nastily. “I quite enjoyed the chase, but you see it’s left me with quite an appetite and you know how much I like children, especially young girls around your age or just younger. I’m going to enjoy getting my teeth into you.”
He threw his head back and laughed, causing me to shiver. A fool would have thought that they were safe for now. How much could a human bite do? I may be a lot of things, but I’m certainly no fool. I know how much damage Fenrir Greyback could do in human form. Bill Weasley is proof of that.
“Such a pretty little girl. Seems almost a shame to have to do this to you.”
His face was only a few centimetres away now. His fingers playing with my hair, twirling it around and looking at it wrapped around his finger.
“Yes, such a pretty little girl. Maybe I’ll have some fun first.”
I was very tempted to throw up all down his front. He disgusted me and if I survived this I knew I was going to have to bath for a week and be alleviated so I could forget. He began to trace the shape of my face, his hands rough and his fingernails sharp. I could smell blood on his breath and with a sinking feeling in my stomach I began to wonder how many other people he had bitten tonight. How many other people he had torn flesh from.
“I’m going to enjoy this.” He whispered in my ear, his hot breath tickling.
Suddenly I knew what I had to do, and the strange thing was I wasn’t scared any more. Suddenly I felt like the bravest person in the world instead of the scared girl who had begun to run away from the fight. I had the power to stop this, I had the power to stop many children from being infected or killed. This was the reason I was sorted into Gryffindor all those years ago. Taking a deep breath, I leant back against the banister and before I fully realised what I was doing I had fallen over the edge and had dragged Fenrir Greyback with me. A terrified scream escaped my lips before I could stop myself and with a loud thud I landed on the ground.
I must admit, I was shocked when I realised I was still alive and all I could do was pray that Greyback hadn’t been so lucky. Run, Lavender, run. My mind was telling me to run but I couldn’t pull myself up. I was weak and couldn’t move. Then, out of the corner of my eye I saw something that made my blood turn cold. Greyback was getting up and was transforming right in front of my eyes. I didn’t understand, it wasn’t full moon for another week. Oh crap, he’s heading straight for me, this is it.
He lowered his head and I felt his sharp teeth ripping into the skin and muscle on my shoulder, the pain was unbearable but then suddenly, before he’d had time to do any more damage I heard a familiar voice, although I couldn’t quite place it, shriek “NO!” and then he was blasted back off of me, slamming into the marble banisters with a sickening crack and as he tried to get up he was hit on the head and knocked out by a falling crystal ball.
I smiled to myself. I always knew that I liked Professor Trelawney for a reason, even though no once else seemed to apart from Parvati.
My vision was going, all I could see were black spots dancing in front of me and the sound of the battle that was continuing around me was fading, until I couldn’t see or hear anything.
*
My head was pounding, and it hurt to move. There was a sharp pain on my shoulder and my back felt badly bruised. If this is what death is, I’m very disappointed. I had images in my head of clouds and feeling light and peaceful. This must be hell. How cruel. I try and do the right thing and I don’t even get into heaven.
Slowly my eyes open, the sudden light burning, the blurry vision making me dizzy and the images of the battle flooding back into my mind. I didn’t have much time to take everything in because a goblet of water was shoved against my lips and the water forced down my throat, nearly causing me to choke. Coughing loudly, dribbling water down my front, I turned to face the person who had assaulted me in that way and was shocked to find Hermione Granger sitting by my bed, twisting her fingers and looking extremely nervous.
“Sorry,” she said, apologetically. “I didn’t know what else to do. I thought you’d be thirsty - Madam Pomfrey said you might be.”
“It’s okay,” I croaked. “I was thirsty, I just wasn’t expecting it to be shoved in my face, especially by you.”
The ‘you’ came out more harshly than I had intended. Offending the person who had saved my life (I now recognised the voice) hadn’t been what I set out to do, I was just very shocked. She was the last person I had expected to be there considering the events of last year. If anyone was to be at my side I would have thought it would be Parvati, my best friend.
“I shouldn’t have come. I’ll go now. Glad to see you’re alive though, Lavender.”
Hermione got up from her chair and began to walk towards the door and I found myself shouting to her, getting her to stop and come back. That was another shock. I’ve never particularly got on with Hermione, she is the complete opposite of me and we don’t share any interests.
“Oh okay.” Hermione turned back and sat back down looking shocked.
There was an uncomfortable silence. Neither of us really knowing what to say to the other. Usually I could chat all day long and still have something to say, but something didn’t feel right and I couldn’t quite place my finger on it. Plus, this was Hermione, she probably wanted to talk about House-Elf rights, or some book that I hadn’t read like Hogwarts: A History.
“So, how are you?” I asked, mentally smacking myself at the stupidity of that question.
“As well as can be expected, I suppose,” she shrugged. “How about you? You took a nasty fall earlier and…”
That’s when I remembered about the chase, and then the bite. I could feel what little colour I had in my cheeks fade and a wave of coldness wash over me, freezing my insides.
“He bit me.”
It was a statement, not a question. I could see Hermione looking at me with wide eyes, as though she had expected me not to remember. She couldn’t be farther from the truth. Now I could remember every single second, I could remember the exact feel of his fingers, the smell of his breath and then the feel of his teeth piercing my flesh.
“Yes.” Hermione confirmed what I had already known. “However, it’s not as bad as you may believe…”
“Then I’m a werewolf.”
“No.” Hermione shook her head. “It wasn’t a full moon, you won’t be a werewolf. You might have a few wolfish traits like Bill has, but you won’t be a full werewolf.”
“He was transformed, he was in wolf form when he bit me. Don’t lie to try and make me feel better. I’m not stupid, even if you think that I am.”
“I don’t think you’re stupid but it wasn’t full moon. I’m not entirely sure why he was able to transform, maybe he’s an unregistered animagus but I wouldn’t have thought that he’d have been able to learn magic that advanced, especially as a lot of werewolves don’t own wands because of some stupid law from years ago. Of course that would also depend on when he was bitten, if it was after Hogwarts he could have learned and still been able to…”
I was zoning out and not really taking anything in that Hermione was saying. She had a gift of doing that to people, when she got into one of her know-it-all speeches about something she could go on for hours and I just couldn’t deal with that. All I could think about was how my life was ruined, I was going to be a werewolf and now no one would ever want anything to do with me. I know how werewolves are treated in society. Poor Professor Lupin had been driven out of the school because word got out about him. He was such a good teacher as well. I had learnt so much from him in Defence Against the Dark Arts that year, more than with any other teacher.
Then it hit me. I needed to speak to Professor Lupin, he’d know what I was going through and maybe talking to him would help me deal with this disease I had been infected with. Talking to someone who knows everything about it, has experienced that for themselves.
“Hermione.” I said suddenly, interrupting her.
“Yes?”
“I want to talk to Professor Lupin. I know he’s around somewhere, I saw him earlier. Can you go and see if you can find him, please? I think it would help because he can answer my questions - I have so many.”
I instantly knew I had said the wrong thing when I saw the tear run down her cheek.
“You can’t. He died during the battle.”
Her voice was barely more than a whisper and I could tell she was upset. I was shocked. I knew it had been a battle but somehow I didn’t expect people that I knew to die. Death Eaters, yes, but not people on the right side. It was silly of me really, I mean, no one ever expected Dumbledore to die yet he had just a year ago.
“Oh.”
It was the only thing I could think of that I could say. Images of my friends were swimming through my mind. Were they alright, or were they dead?
“Who else?” I asked, half not wanting to know but the other half of me desperately wanting confirmation that no one I cared about had lost their life fighting.
“Fred Weasley.” Tears were now streaming down her cheeks, faster than she could wipe them away. “It was awful, I was there. He was laughing at something Percy had said and then there was an explosion and the wall collapsed on top of him.”
I reached out to place a reassuring hand on her shoulder, not knowing why but just that I had to, that it was the right thing to do and that it might bring a bit of comfort to her.
“Then there was little Colin Creevey. He was too young, he shouldn’t have been here, he was only sixteen! And it’s my fault because if it hadn’t been for me he wouldn’t be here. He didn’t come back to school this year because he’s a muggleborn and it was my stupid galleon that alerted him.”
She was sobbing really loudly now and I had no idea how to deal with her at the best of times so I just continued rubbing her shoulder.
“Tonks died as well. That was Lupin’s wife, she was an Auror. Now their baby is an orphan, he’s only a month old and it’s just so sad because he’ll grow up without his parents.”
She wasn’t even bothering to wipe her tears away from her eyes anymore.
“Then there’s about 50 other people on our side who died. It’s horrible, they were all just lying there in the Great Hall and there was so many. They had the rest of their lives in front of them and it was ended because of some stupid idiot who wanted to rule the world and keep it pure, which is a complete joke considering he was only a half-blood.”
I was scared that she was going to start throwing things about and get really worked up. Looking around I could see no danger, there was nothing there that could be used as a weapon. I really wanted to know what had happened to other people. What about Parvati and Seamus? What about Dean? I had seen him with Seamus at one point but I had no idea about what had happened after that.
“What about…”
“Sorry,” she apologised again even though she didn’t really have any need to. “I guess you want to know about your friends. Well, they are all alive. Parvati had a twisted ankle last time I saw her, Seamus just had a lot of cuts and bruises and Dean was relatively unharmed.”
“And Neville?”
I had become friendly with Neville this past year. So many of our year group were missing having not been allowed back (Dean and Hermione, although I‘m doubting she would have come back anyway) or simply not turned up at the beginning of the year (Ron and Harry). He’d really come out of his shell a lot and was constantly causing trouble for the Carrows and Snape, which I admired even if I was worried that one day he wouldn’t come back from detention.
“He was brilliant! You should have seen him. You-Know-Who told him to join the Death Eaters, I think it was after he disobeyed him or something - sorry my minds gone a bit blank so much has happened this last day or so - because he’s a pureblood, and then he stood up to him and said ‘I’ll join you when hell freezes over' before shouting 'Dumbledore’s Army'. He was so brave, and then the Sorting Hat got put on his head and set alight and then the sword of Gryffindor came out of the hat which he used to kill You-Know-Who’s pet snake.”
“Really?”
I was shocked. I knew that Neville had been getting more confident and used to standing up for himself recently but I still found it hard to believe that he stood up to You-Know-Who himself.
Hermione nodded and fell quiet. This time the silence wasn’t as uncomfortable as it had been before, it was more of a relief at first. It gave my mind time to calm down and process all the information that it had just received. I soon realised that maybe it wasn’t the best thing that could have happened. Images of the dead kept popping up and it wasn’t until the body of Fred Weasley appeared that I thought of something.
“Hermione. Why aren’t you with Ron? Surely he needs you more right now, especially as what has just happened, you with his brother.”
“How did you know about Ron and I?”
“It was pretty obvious that something would happen.”
As much as I hated to admit, it was true, deep down I’d always known that it was Ron and Hermione and would never truly be Ron and Lavender. I had tried to convince myself that he wanted me, and I still do believe that he did at the time, but I knew that eventually he’d end up with Hermione. It was tough last year, at the back of my mind knowing that I shouldn’t be doing it but being so happy when I was with him that I didn’t want to face up to reality.
“Well, anyway, Ron needs his family around him right now. I don’t think it would do any good being there, I’d feel like I was intruding. Harry’s somewhere, he wants to be alone. He blames himself for all the deaths and is taking the deaths of Fred, Lupin and Tonks very hard. I don’t want to disturb him and I thought you might like someone with you. We’ve never got on, but the way I saw it, it’s better to be with someone you don’t necessarily like than be alone at a time like this.”
She yawned loudly.
“Hermione, go and get some sleep. How long has it been since you’ve had a proper rest?”
“I didn’t sleep much yesterday, all that running around and the chaos of the aftermath of the whole battle. I suppose you’re right, I do need sleep, but I can stay here if you want. I can survive.”
“No. It’s alright. I might get some more sleep at the same time.”
*
I fell asleep soon after Hermione had left, but my dreams were not the peaceful ones I had hoped and prayed for. Instead they were filled with images of Greyback and the attack. Cruel laughter and the sound of flesh ripping. Images of my reflection showing a wolf with sharp teeth dripping with blood, large yellow eyes looking murderous.
When I woke up everything felt so much more real. The pain in my shoulder was worse than it had been before, and now I could feel something inside of me. Something dark and I hated it. I hated myself and what I now was. I would never get the happy ending I had dreamed of as a young girl, never get the happy ending that happened in the fairytales my mum used to read me as a child. I was a beast.
I’d been sitting up in bed for a few hours when Hermione came back. I’d been arguing with Madam Pomfrey, trying to get her to let me go, I was fine - or as fine as I could be at the moment - and I didn’t need to stay here for longer than I had to. She wasn’t convinced but she agreed to let me go. The only problem was, I didn’t know where to go. I didn’t think I had the strength to walk around the castle too much, looking for friends I wasn’t sure were even here and my family hadn’t been to see me.
Upon hearing this, Hermione had grabbed hold of my arm and walked me to the Great Hall where many families remained, even though the battle had been over for two days. My family weren’t there but then I suppose they weren’t at the battle and maybe they hadn’t known that I was there. That’s stupid, a little voice in my mind was saying, they knew you were at Hogwarts, and they would have been told that I was injured. That little voice wasn’t very comforting. If they knew that I was here, why hadn’t they come?
I sat down at one of the tables and Hermione left to go and see Ron. A piece of me was sad to see her happy with him, I wished that could have been me standing there with his arms around me. I couldn’t stop Parvati or Seamus anywhere and Dean was deep in conversation with Luna Lovegood and I didn’t want to interrupt them so I continued to sit on my own and watch all the activity around me. Friends and family all huddled together, some happy and others obviously missing something - mourning their dead.
It was George Weasley, however, that caught my attention. He was standing off to the side, distancing himself from his family and looking lost. It was so sad to see him looking like that, an empty shell of his former self. Every memory I had of George involved Fred and lots of laughter, but now Fred was gone and I had no idea what he would do next, and it looked as though he didn’t have any idea either. He looked as though he would never smile again, never tell another joke or play another prank. Even though I would never be the same again, I realised that as bad as my life got, there would always be someone worse off than me.
End of Part One.
Characters/Pairings: Lavender Brown, Hermione Granger, George Weasley
Rating: PG
Word count: 3852
Warnings: DH spoilers, character death, very minor bad language and some blood.
Summary: Lavender Brown is left scarred, both physically and mentally, from Fenrir Greyback’s attack. Reduced to half the girl she used to be, she strikes up a friendship in the most unlikely place and she learns that she still may get her happy ending.
AN: I’ve changed some bits of Lavender’s attack, looking back I know that Greyback wasn’t the one that fell from the banisters with her but in this he does. This is unbetaed so sorry for any mistakes.
Call of the Moon
Run, Lavender, run. I mentally yell at myself as I run through the corridors of Hogwarts, trying desperately to escape and occasionally throwing curses behind me. My ears listen out for the sound of a body falling but it never comes, not that I really expected it to happen anyway.
I know I’m a coward, and I hate myself for it. All around me I see students my own age, some younger, fighting to the death and all I can do is run away. I should have left with the younger ones. I’m not Gryffindor material, I’m not brave and this is proof. I wanted to stay, wanted to prove myself, wanted to prove that I’m not just some teenage girl who only cares about make-up charms, boys and the latest gossip but in reality, that’s what I am.
I thought I’d be able to fight, that’s what I spent most of my free time in my fifth year doing, in DA meetings. Well, only after I’d accepted that Harry was telling the truth and that You-Know-Who had returned. That’s another thing I feel guilty about, not believing him, not believing that poor Cedric Diggory had been murdered by him. Somehow I’d managed to convince myself that he wasn’t back and there wouldn’t be a war. Even tonight I hadn’t fully believed it, hadn’t allowed myself to believe, which is part of the reason I stayed behind to fight. Then when I left the Room of Requirement it began to sink in, the reality of war.
My legs are beginning to ache and I have a stitch in my side but I keep running, desperate to get away because I know who is following me and I know what he is capable of doing. His laughter echoes through the corridors, the sound bouncing off the walls. He’s getting closer. He’s catching up.
Tears start to flow and soon I’m sobbing because I know that this is the end. I’ll never see my mum and dad again or my little sister who I’ve always thought was a great pain. I’m going to be torn to pieces and no one will ever be able to recognise me and I won’t get a proper send off, no burial, and my family will always wonder what happened to their eldest daughter.
A piece of rubble on the floor trips me up and I fall, cutting my knees and the blood begins to trickle down my legs. This isn’t good, it’s given him time to catch up with me and now I’m in pain too. I see the balcony in front of me, it’s within reaching distance and if I can just reach the stairs I’ll be okay, nearly there, just a few more steps…
“Oh no you don’t.”
A hand reaches out and grabs my arm, twisting me to face him and I can feel myself tremble. He’s getting closer to me and I try and get his hand off my arm, but he’s too strong and I find myself backing up against the banisters, trying to get as much distance between us as possible even though I know there’s nowhere to go.
“Nowhere to run now, my dear,” Fenrir grinned, nastily. “I quite enjoyed the chase, but you see it’s left me with quite an appetite and you know how much I like children, especially young girls around your age or just younger. I’m going to enjoy getting my teeth into you.”
He threw his head back and laughed, causing me to shiver. A fool would have thought that they were safe for now. How much could a human bite do? I may be a lot of things, but I’m certainly no fool. I know how much damage Fenrir Greyback could do in human form. Bill Weasley is proof of that.
“Such a pretty little girl. Seems almost a shame to have to do this to you.”
His face was only a few centimetres away now. His fingers playing with my hair, twirling it around and looking at it wrapped around his finger.
“Yes, such a pretty little girl. Maybe I’ll have some fun first.”
I was very tempted to throw up all down his front. He disgusted me and if I survived this I knew I was going to have to bath for a week and be alleviated so I could forget. He began to trace the shape of my face, his hands rough and his fingernails sharp. I could smell blood on his breath and with a sinking feeling in my stomach I began to wonder how many other people he had bitten tonight. How many other people he had torn flesh from.
“I’m going to enjoy this.” He whispered in my ear, his hot breath tickling.
Suddenly I knew what I had to do, and the strange thing was I wasn’t scared any more. Suddenly I felt like the bravest person in the world instead of the scared girl who had begun to run away from the fight. I had the power to stop this, I had the power to stop many children from being infected or killed. This was the reason I was sorted into Gryffindor all those years ago. Taking a deep breath, I leant back against the banister and before I fully realised what I was doing I had fallen over the edge and had dragged Fenrir Greyback with me. A terrified scream escaped my lips before I could stop myself and with a loud thud I landed on the ground.
I must admit, I was shocked when I realised I was still alive and all I could do was pray that Greyback hadn’t been so lucky. Run, Lavender, run. My mind was telling me to run but I couldn’t pull myself up. I was weak and couldn’t move. Then, out of the corner of my eye I saw something that made my blood turn cold. Greyback was getting up and was transforming right in front of my eyes. I didn’t understand, it wasn’t full moon for another week. Oh crap, he’s heading straight for me, this is it.
He lowered his head and I felt his sharp teeth ripping into the skin and muscle on my shoulder, the pain was unbearable but then suddenly, before he’d had time to do any more damage I heard a familiar voice, although I couldn’t quite place it, shriek “NO!” and then he was blasted back off of me, slamming into the marble banisters with a sickening crack and as he tried to get up he was hit on the head and knocked out by a falling crystal ball.
I smiled to myself. I always knew that I liked Professor Trelawney for a reason, even though no once else seemed to apart from Parvati.
My vision was going, all I could see were black spots dancing in front of me and the sound of the battle that was continuing around me was fading, until I couldn’t see or hear anything.
*
My head was pounding, and it hurt to move. There was a sharp pain on my shoulder and my back felt badly bruised. If this is what death is, I’m very disappointed. I had images in my head of clouds and feeling light and peaceful. This must be hell. How cruel. I try and do the right thing and I don’t even get into heaven.
Slowly my eyes open, the sudden light burning, the blurry vision making me dizzy and the images of the battle flooding back into my mind. I didn’t have much time to take everything in because a goblet of water was shoved against my lips and the water forced down my throat, nearly causing me to choke. Coughing loudly, dribbling water down my front, I turned to face the person who had assaulted me in that way and was shocked to find Hermione Granger sitting by my bed, twisting her fingers and looking extremely nervous.
“Sorry,” she said, apologetically. “I didn’t know what else to do. I thought you’d be thirsty - Madam Pomfrey said you might be.”
“It’s okay,” I croaked. “I was thirsty, I just wasn’t expecting it to be shoved in my face, especially by you.”
The ‘you’ came out more harshly than I had intended. Offending the person who had saved my life (I now recognised the voice) hadn’t been what I set out to do, I was just very shocked. She was the last person I had expected to be there considering the events of last year. If anyone was to be at my side I would have thought it would be Parvati, my best friend.
“I shouldn’t have come. I’ll go now. Glad to see you’re alive though, Lavender.”
Hermione got up from her chair and began to walk towards the door and I found myself shouting to her, getting her to stop and come back. That was another shock. I’ve never particularly got on with Hermione, she is the complete opposite of me and we don’t share any interests.
“Oh okay.” Hermione turned back and sat back down looking shocked.
There was an uncomfortable silence. Neither of us really knowing what to say to the other. Usually I could chat all day long and still have something to say, but something didn’t feel right and I couldn’t quite place my finger on it. Plus, this was Hermione, she probably wanted to talk about House-Elf rights, or some book that I hadn’t read like Hogwarts: A History.
“So, how are you?” I asked, mentally smacking myself at the stupidity of that question.
“As well as can be expected, I suppose,” she shrugged. “How about you? You took a nasty fall earlier and…”
That’s when I remembered about the chase, and then the bite. I could feel what little colour I had in my cheeks fade and a wave of coldness wash over me, freezing my insides.
“He bit me.”
It was a statement, not a question. I could see Hermione looking at me with wide eyes, as though she had expected me not to remember. She couldn’t be farther from the truth. Now I could remember every single second, I could remember the exact feel of his fingers, the smell of his breath and then the feel of his teeth piercing my flesh.
“Yes.” Hermione confirmed what I had already known. “However, it’s not as bad as you may believe…”
“Then I’m a werewolf.”
“No.” Hermione shook her head. “It wasn’t a full moon, you won’t be a werewolf. You might have a few wolfish traits like Bill has, but you won’t be a full werewolf.”
“He was transformed, he was in wolf form when he bit me. Don’t lie to try and make me feel better. I’m not stupid, even if you think that I am.”
“I don’t think you’re stupid but it wasn’t full moon. I’m not entirely sure why he was able to transform, maybe he’s an unregistered animagus but I wouldn’t have thought that he’d have been able to learn magic that advanced, especially as a lot of werewolves don’t own wands because of some stupid law from years ago. Of course that would also depend on when he was bitten, if it was after Hogwarts he could have learned and still been able to…”
I was zoning out and not really taking anything in that Hermione was saying. She had a gift of doing that to people, when she got into one of her know-it-all speeches about something she could go on for hours and I just couldn’t deal with that. All I could think about was how my life was ruined, I was going to be a werewolf and now no one would ever want anything to do with me. I know how werewolves are treated in society. Poor Professor Lupin had been driven out of the school because word got out about him. He was such a good teacher as well. I had learnt so much from him in Defence Against the Dark Arts that year, more than with any other teacher.
Then it hit me. I needed to speak to Professor Lupin, he’d know what I was going through and maybe talking to him would help me deal with this disease I had been infected with. Talking to someone who knows everything about it, has experienced that for themselves.
“Hermione.” I said suddenly, interrupting her.
“Yes?”
“I want to talk to Professor Lupin. I know he’s around somewhere, I saw him earlier. Can you go and see if you can find him, please? I think it would help because he can answer my questions - I have so many.”
I instantly knew I had said the wrong thing when I saw the tear run down her cheek.
“You can’t. He died during the battle.”
Her voice was barely more than a whisper and I could tell she was upset. I was shocked. I knew it had been a battle but somehow I didn’t expect people that I knew to die. Death Eaters, yes, but not people on the right side. It was silly of me really, I mean, no one ever expected Dumbledore to die yet he had just a year ago.
“Oh.”
It was the only thing I could think of that I could say. Images of my friends were swimming through my mind. Were they alright, or were they dead?
“Who else?” I asked, half not wanting to know but the other half of me desperately wanting confirmation that no one I cared about had lost their life fighting.
“Fred Weasley.” Tears were now streaming down her cheeks, faster than she could wipe them away. “It was awful, I was there. He was laughing at something Percy had said and then there was an explosion and the wall collapsed on top of him.”
I reached out to place a reassuring hand on her shoulder, not knowing why but just that I had to, that it was the right thing to do and that it might bring a bit of comfort to her.
“Then there was little Colin Creevey. He was too young, he shouldn’t have been here, he was only sixteen! And it’s my fault because if it hadn’t been for me he wouldn’t be here. He didn’t come back to school this year because he’s a muggleborn and it was my stupid galleon that alerted him.”
She was sobbing really loudly now and I had no idea how to deal with her at the best of times so I just continued rubbing her shoulder.
“Tonks died as well. That was Lupin’s wife, she was an Auror. Now their baby is an orphan, he’s only a month old and it’s just so sad because he’ll grow up without his parents.”
She wasn’t even bothering to wipe her tears away from her eyes anymore.
“Then there’s about 50 other people on our side who died. It’s horrible, they were all just lying there in the Great Hall and there was so many. They had the rest of their lives in front of them and it was ended because of some stupid idiot who wanted to rule the world and keep it pure, which is a complete joke considering he was only a half-blood.”
I was scared that she was going to start throwing things about and get really worked up. Looking around I could see no danger, there was nothing there that could be used as a weapon. I really wanted to know what had happened to other people. What about Parvati and Seamus? What about Dean? I had seen him with Seamus at one point but I had no idea about what had happened after that.
“What about…”
“Sorry,” she apologised again even though she didn’t really have any need to. “I guess you want to know about your friends. Well, they are all alive. Parvati had a twisted ankle last time I saw her, Seamus just had a lot of cuts and bruises and Dean was relatively unharmed.”
“And Neville?”
I had become friendly with Neville this past year. So many of our year group were missing having not been allowed back (Dean and Hermione, although I‘m doubting she would have come back anyway) or simply not turned up at the beginning of the year (Ron and Harry). He’d really come out of his shell a lot and was constantly causing trouble for the Carrows and Snape, which I admired even if I was worried that one day he wouldn’t come back from detention.
“He was brilliant! You should have seen him. You-Know-Who told him to join the Death Eaters, I think it was after he disobeyed him or something - sorry my minds gone a bit blank so much has happened this last day or so - because he’s a pureblood, and then he stood up to him and said ‘I’ll join you when hell freezes over' before shouting 'Dumbledore’s Army'. He was so brave, and then the Sorting Hat got put on his head and set alight and then the sword of Gryffindor came out of the hat which he used to kill You-Know-Who’s pet snake.”
“Really?”
I was shocked. I knew that Neville had been getting more confident and used to standing up for himself recently but I still found it hard to believe that he stood up to You-Know-Who himself.
Hermione nodded and fell quiet. This time the silence wasn’t as uncomfortable as it had been before, it was more of a relief at first. It gave my mind time to calm down and process all the information that it had just received. I soon realised that maybe it wasn’t the best thing that could have happened. Images of the dead kept popping up and it wasn’t until the body of Fred Weasley appeared that I thought of something.
“Hermione. Why aren’t you with Ron? Surely he needs you more right now, especially as what has just happened, you with his brother.”
“How did you know about Ron and I?”
“It was pretty obvious that something would happen.”
As much as I hated to admit, it was true, deep down I’d always known that it was Ron and Hermione and would never truly be Ron and Lavender. I had tried to convince myself that he wanted me, and I still do believe that he did at the time, but I knew that eventually he’d end up with Hermione. It was tough last year, at the back of my mind knowing that I shouldn’t be doing it but being so happy when I was with him that I didn’t want to face up to reality.
“Well, anyway, Ron needs his family around him right now. I don’t think it would do any good being there, I’d feel like I was intruding. Harry’s somewhere, he wants to be alone. He blames himself for all the deaths and is taking the deaths of Fred, Lupin and Tonks very hard. I don’t want to disturb him and I thought you might like someone with you. We’ve never got on, but the way I saw it, it’s better to be with someone you don’t necessarily like than be alone at a time like this.”
She yawned loudly.
“Hermione, go and get some sleep. How long has it been since you’ve had a proper rest?”
“I didn’t sleep much yesterday, all that running around and the chaos of the aftermath of the whole battle. I suppose you’re right, I do need sleep, but I can stay here if you want. I can survive.”
“No. It’s alright. I might get some more sleep at the same time.”
*
I fell asleep soon after Hermione had left, but my dreams were not the peaceful ones I had hoped and prayed for. Instead they were filled with images of Greyback and the attack. Cruel laughter and the sound of flesh ripping. Images of my reflection showing a wolf with sharp teeth dripping with blood, large yellow eyes looking murderous.
When I woke up everything felt so much more real. The pain in my shoulder was worse than it had been before, and now I could feel something inside of me. Something dark and I hated it. I hated myself and what I now was. I would never get the happy ending I had dreamed of as a young girl, never get the happy ending that happened in the fairytales my mum used to read me as a child. I was a beast.
I’d been sitting up in bed for a few hours when Hermione came back. I’d been arguing with Madam Pomfrey, trying to get her to let me go, I was fine - or as fine as I could be at the moment - and I didn’t need to stay here for longer than I had to. She wasn’t convinced but she agreed to let me go. The only problem was, I didn’t know where to go. I didn’t think I had the strength to walk around the castle too much, looking for friends I wasn’t sure were even here and my family hadn’t been to see me.
Upon hearing this, Hermione had grabbed hold of my arm and walked me to the Great Hall where many families remained, even though the battle had been over for two days. My family weren’t there but then I suppose they weren’t at the battle and maybe they hadn’t known that I was there. That’s stupid, a little voice in my mind was saying, they knew you were at Hogwarts, and they would have been told that I was injured. That little voice wasn’t very comforting. If they knew that I was here, why hadn’t they come?
I sat down at one of the tables and Hermione left to go and see Ron. A piece of me was sad to see her happy with him, I wished that could have been me standing there with his arms around me. I couldn’t stop Parvati or Seamus anywhere and Dean was deep in conversation with Luna Lovegood and I didn’t want to interrupt them so I continued to sit on my own and watch all the activity around me. Friends and family all huddled together, some happy and others obviously missing something - mourning their dead.
It was George Weasley, however, that caught my attention. He was standing off to the side, distancing himself from his family and looking lost. It was so sad to see him looking like that, an empty shell of his former self. Every memory I had of George involved Fred and lots of laughter, but now Fred was gone and I had no idea what he would do next, and it looked as though he didn’t have any idea either. He looked as though he would never smile again, never tell another joke or play another prank. Even though I would never be the same again, I realised that as bad as my life got, there would always be someone worse off than me.
End of Part One.