Comments | xwontonx: jessica / jenna

xwontonx

jessica / jenna

Jul 23, 2003 23:22

i met a girl. she's 22 and married and she moved here from conneticut. she had a baby girl, but she was stillborn, which for those of you who don't know... means it didn't make it, it was dead before she even gave birth to her. i met her husband and they're pretty happy together and she's really nice, but she talks about her daughter like she's ( Read more... )

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Um.. well, speaking for one who has lost children.... anonymous July 23 2003, 21:14:29 UTC

... no, you're not wrong for feeling that way - it's understandable - but do try to remember that to her that baby was her whole world for 9 months.. she felt it moving inside her, it woke her in the night, she spoke to it, sang to it, bought it presents, felt her breasts swell with milk for it - everything. And then it was taken from her, never to be seen again. Often hopsital workers try to get rid of the deceased baby quickly before the mother even sees it, and almost always no photos are taken... but nearly always the mother (and often the father too) greatly regret not having that time with their child, and having no tangiable memory of that life - no photo, no nothing - making recovery from the trauma even more difficult ( ... )

Re: Um.. well, speaking for one who has lost children.... xwontonx July 23 2003, 22:49:11 UTC

i hope you read this and respond seeing as how it's anonymous. thank you for your words... i've realized this all but it's better hearing it from someone else. she's told me how the baby would freak out if she ate certain foods, or how the baby would start kicking and turning when she heard her husbands voice. i've spoken with her about all of this but i just feel so guilty for feeling bad because i dont know if it's an okay way to feel. she said she's ready to try again but her husband isn't... which is so upsetting.

i'm so sorry for your losses... that's such a sweet idea with the butterflies. thank you again for your comment. xx

Re: Um.. well, speaking for one who has lost children.... anonymous August 3 2003, 18:37:12 UTC

Hey, me again, droppin' in on your joint. Thanks for the reply... and thanks for the kindness about my lost kids. Yeah, it's very difficult but it gets better with time - been about 11 years since the last loss now, so not so bad. Glad to hear you're supporting your friend, and I'm sure she appreciates it, though she may not show it just now. It's OK to feel bad about her loss... she does too.. why not just tell her you feel really badly about it? I'm sure she'd agree. [BTW, I'm really sorry to be anon, but I'm a kinda 'known' person (musician), so I gotta keep he profile low or else I get a ton of bozos and creeps chasing my own journal and I just really don't need the hassle - I'm into my third journal now 'cause the other two got abused bigtime.]

Re: Um.. well, speaking for one who has lost children.... xwontonx August 3 2003, 22:17:34 UTC

i hope you see this as well.... i have a journal that no one knows about, actually i have two.

if you have aim i'd love to talk sometime.

aim = expiresby

Re: Um.. well, speaking for one who has lost children.... anonymous August 11 2003, 17:27:23 UTC

Hey, kid. This is pretty buried by now, so don't know if you'll see this. Anyway, just wanted you to know that I don't use AIM - can't stand AOL-Time-Warner - it's kind of personal thing with me... they've screwed me *bigtime* in too many business deals. I use MSN Messenger and Yahoo instead. Would be nice to chat with you sometime, but hey, looks like it's not to be. Take care. Peace.

Re: Um.. well, speaking for one who has lost children.... xwontonx August 11 2003, 22:24:51 UTC

it is buried... i doubt you'll see this. thanks you the words and such, im not on either of those services... so you take care as well.
xx

Re: Um.. well, speaking for one who has lost children.... procolharum August 18 2003, 21:32:00 UTC

Hi. Me again.. well, I guess this is buried enough now that I can finally 'come out'. I created yet another new LJ a while back but frankly haven't had anything much to say, so no sense browsing.. guess I really said it all before in the other ones.. I used it as an outlet for my many frustrations and self doubts, but it became too public and that wasn't good at all. Anyway, I thought I'd at least be polite enough to do you the favour of introducing myself. Please do keep it to yourself though? Cheers.

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