i lie for only you and i lie well
so this christmas had its ups and downs. it wasnt spectacular and it wasnt horrible.
christmas eve i had to work 12-5 and then mass a 740 and then go to jerrys sisters till 11. christmas morning i slept in till 1030. opened my lack of presents (3) and ate breakfast. jerrys kids then came over. watched elf. played halo. ate dinner. etc etc. they stayed the night. that whole day i saw napoleon dynamite 3 times cause my mom got it for my brother. so the next day i wake up and go to my aunts. my uncle had just gotten home fromt eh hospital on friday from a broken hip. he was in real bad shape. we went to the hotel. dinner at a bar. then me mike matt and desiree went back to my aunts and mike and des exchanged gifts adn des gave em and matt simpsons jeopordy. me and matt played that. then a drunken phone call was recived by my brothers from my mom telling us to get our asses down there to see our uncle and cousin or shed kick our asses. so we go and everyone there is smashed. this is where it gets interesting.
as soon as i walk in i see a boy sitting at a table. looks liek he could be 17, 18. so we make eye contact and he smiles. so man i get so happy cause that just doesnt happen with me. so i go to say hi to my uncle and he goes. "OH MY LORD MARY YOU GOT SO SHORT! MATT WAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING TO HER YOU GOOF ILL KICK YOUR ASS!" hahahaha now remember this is a small town bar hes screamin in. 10 minutes later "OMG MARY YOU GOT SO BIG! I REMEMBER WEN I COULD FIT YA IN THE PALM OF MY HANDS!" "umm uncle michael you just told me i got smaller..." 'UH... AAAH I WAS JUST BUSTIN YER BALLS!" this goes on for 10 minutes.. no joke. he says teh same stuff over and over and over again. it was hilarious. but then as i slowly move my way down the line of my family to say my hellos i am standing next to the hot boys table. then my uncle proceeds to run over to me and introduce me to all the old men in the bar saying "HEY THIS IS MY NIECE! AINT SHE A LOOKER?? MARY YOUR NOT ALLOWED TO DATE! NO! YOULL STAY A VIRGIN FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! (heh...heh..) YOUR GOING TO BE A NUN! NO BOYS FOR YOU! AND IF ANYBODY TOUCHES YOU ILL KILL EM! ME AND YOUR COUSIN ROBBY WHOSE A MARINE AND YOUR TWO BIG BROTHERS! WELL KILL THEM!" oh man. totally blew any chance i had of even talking to the kid haha but oh well i had a good laugh. so then i see my cousin robby and i almost lost it. you see here is the story behind him....
when he was a teenager he really effed up his life with drugs and alcohol and made some really shitty decisions. he was always the outcast of our family and everyone would always say bad shit about him. even tho all this happened i always loved him and wanted to be close with him liek my other cousins. but the influence of my family was too strong. my mom told me that i should keep my distance from him. now this is when i was about 10 so i was easily influenced. so i lost touch with him and only woudl see him about once every 2 years. even when i would see him i wouldnt be able to talk to him becasue i was scared. so years later now hes 26. he joined the marines last year. hes been in cali ever since and hes home for break. in about 6 months hes being shipped over to iraq...
this whole war thing always had me upset but man ill tell you it never hit me until then. my 26 year old cousin who i never had the chance to show how much i love him. who ive shunned all these years. this could be the very last time i see him ever. hes really straightened out his life. i dont want him to go.
so i sit with him and we catch up as much as we can in the few moments we had with eachother. then me and my brothers and des leave. we drive to the hotel in the snow. watch tv then go to sleep. next morning we wake up and go back to my aunts where everyone is. we sit and talk and reminisce about old times and funny stories. then its our time to go. i hug everyone and say goodbye. i get to robby and i just hold him as tight as i could. i wanted to tell him how much i loved him, i wanted to tell him how i wish we could have been closer. i wanted to say that it wasnt "goodbye", it was just "see you later". but the only thing that could come out of my mouth is a goodbye. i dont know what exactly held me back but i sure as hell wish it didnt. i wish i could go back and explain to him what he means to me and that he is loved in this family. i swear the worst thing in life is regret. it eats away at me every time i think about it.
so that was my holiday. now tara is coming over and it shall be fun. peace out kids. merry belated christmas and happy new year
christmas eve i had to work 12-5 and then mass a 740 and then go to jerrys sisters till 11. christmas morning i slept in till 1030. opened my lack of presents (3) and ate breakfast. jerrys kids then came over. watched elf. played halo. ate dinner. etc etc. they stayed the night. that whole day i saw napoleon dynamite 3 times cause my mom got it for my brother. so the next day i wake up and go to my aunts. my uncle had just gotten home fromt eh hospital on friday from a broken hip. he was in real bad shape. we went to the hotel. dinner at a bar. then me mike matt and desiree went back to my aunts and mike and des exchanged gifts adn des gave em and matt simpsons jeopordy. me and matt played that. then a drunken phone call was recived by my brothers from my mom telling us to get our asses down there to see our uncle and cousin or shed kick our asses. so we go and everyone there is smashed. this is where it gets interesting.
as soon as i walk in i see a boy sitting at a table. looks liek he could be 17, 18. so we make eye contact and he smiles. so man i get so happy cause that just doesnt happen with me. so i go to say hi to my uncle and he goes. "OH MY LORD MARY YOU GOT SO SHORT! MATT WAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING TO HER YOU GOOF ILL KICK YOUR ASS!" hahahaha now remember this is a small town bar hes screamin in. 10 minutes later "OMG MARY YOU GOT SO BIG! I REMEMBER WEN I COULD FIT YA IN THE PALM OF MY HANDS!" "umm uncle michael you just told me i got smaller..." 'UH... AAAH I WAS JUST BUSTIN YER BALLS!" this goes on for 10 minutes.. no joke. he says teh same stuff over and over and over again. it was hilarious. but then as i slowly move my way down the line of my family to say my hellos i am standing next to the hot boys table. then my uncle proceeds to run over to me and introduce me to all the old men in the bar saying "HEY THIS IS MY NIECE! AINT SHE A LOOKER?? MARY YOUR NOT ALLOWED TO DATE! NO! YOULL STAY A VIRGIN FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! (heh...heh..) YOUR GOING TO BE A NUN! NO BOYS FOR YOU! AND IF ANYBODY TOUCHES YOU ILL KILL EM! ME AND YOUR COUSIN ROBBY WHOSE A MARINE AND YOUR TWO BIG BROTHERS! WELL KILL THEM!" oh man. totally blew any chance i had of even talking to the kid haha but oh well i had a good laugh. so then i see my cousin robby and i almost lost it. you see here is the story behind him....
when he was a teenager he really effed up his life with drugs and alcohol and made some really shitty decisions. he was always the outcast of our family and everyone would always say bad shit about him. even tho all this happened i always loved him and wanted to be close with him liek my other cousins. but the influence of my family was too strong. my mom told me that i should keep my distance from him. now this is when i was about 10 so i was easily influenced. so i lost touch with him and only woudl see him about once every 2 years. even when i would see him i wouldnt be able to talk to him becasue i was scared. so years later now hes 26. he joined the marines last year. hes been in cali ever since and hes home for break. in about 6 months hes being shipped over to iraq...
this whole war thing always had me upset but man ill tell you it never hit me until then. my 26 year old cousin who i never had the chance to show how much i love him. who ive shunned all these years. this could be the very last time i see him ever. hes really straightened out his life. i dont want him to go.
so i sit with him and we catch up as much as we can in the few moments we had with eachother. then me and my brothers and des leave. we drive to the hotel in the snow. watch tv then go to sleep. next morning we wake up and go back to my aunts where everyone is. we sit and talk and reminisce about old times and funny stories. then its our time to go. i hug everyone and say goodbye. i get to robby and i just hold him as tight as i could. i wanted to tell him how much i loved him, i wanted to tell him how i wish we could have been closer. i wanted to say that it wasnt "goodbye", it was just "see you later". but the only thing that could come out of my mouth is a goodbye. i dont know what exactly held me back but i sure as hell wish it didnt. i wish i could go back and explain to him what he means to me and that he is loved in this family. i swear the worst thing in life is regret. it eats away at me every time i think about it.
so that was my holiday. now tara is coming over and it shall be fun. peace out kids. merry belated christmas and happy new year