(no subject)
i feel like crying every second. chris is apparently allowed to have contact outside but obviously im not important enough to be called. hes called dom every single day. but hasnt thought twice about me. yea i know i feel so damn selfish now but i guess he doesnt know exactly how much i really love him. i dont know wat to feel right now. i feel really ditched. tara and i wer supposed to chill tonight in order to get me out of the house that i NEED to leave.. but she never called me.. suprise suprise.. tom was supposed to call me and go to the party with me but he never called either.. mary beth kindly asked me to go to mo's with her but its kinda awkward sleepin at a girls house i met once. thank you tho kid i love you. i dont know wat to do anymore. i wish people would just understand that im easily broken. i hope this doesnt go on for much longer because im afraid of what i might do. i dont wanna go back to that. things wer actually starting to get good for me and all of a sudden this shit happens. i feel tears in my eyes all the time. im afriad that if im left alone i might do something bad. i need to learn to not be so dependant on other people but thats what ive grown so used to and thats what has made me better. but when those people walk away i cant help but to fall on my face. i know it cant be about me all the times. i dont want it to be. but i just need someone to understand what i need and what i dont. i need to be loved... im afraid of being alone...