(no subject)
You know, I've lost count. There's just been too many, way too many. Probably tends of hundreds, it doesnt really look like a lot when you say it. but when you think about the fact that there's 365 days in a year and the fact that they've been married for 15 years, it comes out to a lot.
you know, as im crying right now i kind of think this is pathetic that im announcing my feelings to the world on Livejournal. but this is my way of getting it out so i really don't care what you have to say.
she cried for the first time today in years. i don't think i've ever heard her cry like that. but she deserves to. after everything that he's done. after everything he's said. and everything he's fuckin did, she deserves to cry. she's so strong too. you have no idea. so its amazing to see her cry. but i know that she has so much pride and so much self esteem that she doesn't need to cry anymore. she's a pheonix. she knows that we don't need him. we can perfectly happy without him.
in the future, i was actually planning to get a tattoo similar to one of my dad's so we have some sort of "cool" connection, but fuck it. i hate him. more than ever. at this point, i dont want him to walk me down the aisle. i dont want him to talk to me. i dont want him to look at me. i dont want him to say he loves me because im going to face him, look him in the eyes and say I don't care. I don't love you. In fact, I hate you.
who calls the love of their life a cunt? i know i would never do that. how can he live with himself with everything he's done. he has no heart. he doesn't trust her, she tells him that she's never cheated on him in his life but he still doesnt fuckin believe her. he wants to think he's right and he wants to be in control. but hes not anymore. we're gonna come back so strong, he's not going to believe it. a couple days ago, my friend asked me if i would care if my dad died tomorrow. i didnt have an answer that day. it wasn't a yes or a no. but now i can see it definately is a no. he can die. i really mean it. he acts so innocent when she starts crying and acts like he's never done anything to her. but then why would she cry?
its funny, when she was crying i went in an held her. as i was crying too. we held each other for a long time. and even though we have one of the best relationships i could ever in my life ask for, that moment was one of our greatest mother-daughter moments ever. i couldnt look her in the eyes, but we silently told each other that everything is going to be ok and that we can hate him together. as funny as that sounds im so serious. so dead serious.
i don't know what's going to happen. after a fight like that. divorce is so bittersweet. we could have him gone forever and have the best times of our lives. but at the same time we could be living on the streets. and as materialistic as that sounds, im so serious.
i wish you saw what happened. because i know so many people are asking how can i hate one person so much, especially my own dad. but if you were there, you would understand my loathe for him. i'm sorry if i sound like a bitch.
i hate him.
go to hell.
stay out of my life.
and no,
this isn't just a "teenage phase."
go fuckin die.
you know, as im crying right now i kind of think this is pathetic that im announcing my feelings to the world on Livejournal. but this is my way of getting it out so i really don't care what you have to say.
she cried for the first time today in years. i don't think i've ever heard her cry like that. but she deserves to. after everything that he's done. after everything he's said. and everything he's fuckin did, she deserves to cry. she's so strong too. you have no idea. so its amazing to see her cry. but i know that she has so much pride and so much self esteem that she doesn't need to cry anymore. she's a pheonix. she knows that we don't need him. we can perfectly happy without him.
in the future, i was actually planning to get a tattoo similar to one of my dad's so we have some sort of "cool" connection, but fuck it. i hate him. more than ever. at this point, i dont want him to walk me down the aisle. i dont want him to talk to me. i dont want him to look at me. i dont want him to say he loves me because im going to face him, look him in the eyes and say I don't care. I don't love you. In fact, I hate you.
who calls the love of their life a cunt? i know i would never do that. how can he live with himself with everything he's done. he has no heart. he doesn't trust her, she tells him that she's never cheated on him in his life but he still doesnt fuckin believe her. he wants to think he's right and he wants to be in control. but hes not anymore. we're gonna come back so strong, he's not going to believe it. a couple days ago, my friend asked me if i would care if my dad died tomorrow. i didnt have an answer that day. it wasn't a yes or a no. but now i can see it definately is a no. he can die. i really mean it. he acts so innocent when she starts crying and acts like he's never done anything to her. but then why would she cry?
its funny, when she was crying i went in an held her. as i was crying too. we held each other for a long time. and even though we have one of the best relationships i could ever in my life ask for, that moment was one of our greatest mother-daughter moments ever. i couldnt look her in the eyes, but we silently told each other that everything is going to be ok and that we can hate him together. as funny as that sounds im so serious. so dead serious.
i don't know what's going to happen. after a fight like that. divorce is so bittersweet. we could have him gone forever and have the best times of our lives. but at the same time we could be living on the streets. and as materialistic as that sounds, im so serious.
i wish you saw what happened. because i know so many people are asking how can i hate one person so much, especially my own dad. but if you were there, you would understand my loathe for him. i'm sorry if i sound like a bitch.
i hate him.
go to hell.
stay out of my life.
and no,
this isn't just a "teenage phase."
go fuckin die.