Fic: The Exercise of Free Will (Lucifer(TV), PG-13
Title: The Exercise of Free Will
Author:
xwingace/xwingace
Summary:The morning after the night before, Chloe has to make a choice, and face the consequences. Follow-up to Blessed Are Those Who Have not Seen
Fandoms: Lucifer(TV)
Word count: ~3800
Rating/Contents: PG 13 for some violence in the first chapter. No warnings apply to this part.
NotesSo... apparently I did need to write Chloe making her choice. But I couldn't write just *one* option.
Thank you to moonbeamsfanfic for the beta.
Available on:
Livejournal
Dreamwidth
Fanfiction.net
Archive of Our Own
Forget
Daylight. Dammit. Chloe turned into her pillow, trying to glean a few more moments of sleep. The last few days had been hell. In fact, she didn't even remember getting home and falling into bed yesterday evening.
Something poked uncomfortably into her side. The rivets on her jeans. Wow, she must have been really tired to not have undressed last night. She sat up, hoping to get out of her clothes, close the curtains and sleep a little longer.
Her foot hit a plush bird. The toy Trixie still slept with (though she pretended she didn't). How'd that get here? That thought was soon overtaken by another. It was a school day. Trixie needed to get to school. What time was it?
Sleepiness forgotten for the moment, Chloe rushed into the kitchen. She was brought up short by the smell of freshly baked muffins, overlaid with coffee and bacon. And Lucifer at the kitchen counter, arranging all of it on a tray. He must have heard her coming, because he set down the plate and turned around.
"Good morning, Detective."
The greeting was subdued, not at all like Lucifer. On the other hand, the showing up unannounced and uninvited very much was. "Lucifer, you can't keep breaking in here!"
"Oh." She seemed to have actually stumped him. Ever ready with a retort, Lucifer now regarded her in silence for a few heartbeats. Then he nodded.
"I didn't, in fact," he said. "Not this time." He picked up the coffee pot from the counter and poured some into a mug. "You collapsed at work. I talked to your lieutenant, then took you home." He gestured toward the bedroom with the mug. "I put you into your bed and waited here."
"What?" It was the first question that came to her mind. Okay, she'd been running mostly on candy bars and caffeine for the past three days, but still, to just black out like that… Maybe she shouldn't have taken those painkillers before interviewing survivors. But they'd just been Tylenol and without them she wouldn't have been able to concentrate through the massive headache that was this whole case. Besides, it wasn't what mattered most. Chloe shook her head, overriding her first question with a different one. "Where's Trixie?"
"Mrs Martin from across the street took her to school along with her own spawn." Lucifer shot a glance in the direction of the Martin household and then gave her one of his trademark suggestive grins. "She'll see your offspring gets her education."
"And as for why I waited, well…" He took up the platter he'd been arranging earlier and offered it to her with a flourish. "I could hardly put you to bed and let you wake up without breakfast twice. I do have a reputation to maintain."
Chloe pushed the tray away. The smells coming off it were glorious, but her stomach knotted itself at the thought of eating. Anger seemed the easiest way around nausea. It wasn't as if Lucifer didn't deserve it. "And where were you the past few days? Maintaining that 'reputation' while I worked my ass off?"
Lucifer's cheerful grin faded. He slid the tray back onto the counter and squared his shoulders. "You did suggest I keep a low profile. What with the press getting on my neck again for more Satanic killings. Which were just as much my responsibility as the last batch, I might add."
Sarcasm, the sign of an annoyed Lucifer. That brought Chloe up short. She had suggested that. Still, she hadn't expected Lucifer to take her up on it so literally. He'd had plenty of objections the previous time, and he'd been a lot closer to the case, then. "Keeping a low profile isn't disappearing altogether!"
That headache was coming back. She glared at Lucifer as hard as the pounding in her head allowed. He appeared chastened, at least. He swallowed. "Yes. I am sorry about that."
Chloe closed her eyes and sighed. She wanted so much to get back to bed and sleep for another day, but there was more work to be done. Cases like these didn't wait. "Okay, fine. Apology accepted. You can make up for it by helping from today. That last killing spree had witnesses. We still need to interview them and…"
"Oh, right, I should have said sooner," Lucifer interrupted her. He reached across the counter and grabbed the newspaper that was next to her open laptop. He presented the headline article to her. "Police received an anonymous tip yesterday. They found a whole set of miscreants in a barn out in the desert." He turned the paper around and read from the article. "Suspects could be tied to several of the recent massacres."
He slapped the paper back onto the counter. "All over but the mopping up. Your lieutenant said to take the day off and rest. Paperwork can wait until tomorrow."
"Thank God," Chloe couldn't help expressing her relief. She caught the sour look from Lucifer, insulted as usual at any reference to his 'Father'. She couldn't bring herself to care too much. Her bed beckoned. "Okay then. You get out of here so I can go back to sleep." She pointed him to the door. "I'll call you tomorrow if I have anything."
That surprised Lucifer. "Oh, come on, Detective, you can't throw me out again! We haven't even had breakfast yet!"
Chloe grabbed one of the muffins off the tray and put it in Lucifer's hands. "Here you go."
Lucifer took the muffin and let himself be guided to the door without further struggle. Once outside, though, he just stood there, doing nothing and with an unreadable expression on his face. It was weird enough to trigger a spark of curiosity. "Hey," she said, and once Lucifer focused his attention on her, "you okay?"
"I'm fine," he responded, sighing. He straightened out. "Just a bit… disappointed." He went distant for a second, then came back to the moment at hand. "Goodbye, Detective. Sleep well."
Deny
Daylight. Dammit. It was bright enough to wake Chloe up and too bright to keep pretending to sleep, much as she'd like to. She was still exhausted from her nightmares. They had even prompted Trixie to join her, from the looks of it. She'd left her plush toy behind this morning.
Except they hadn't just been nightmares, had they? Oh, there'd been nightmares last night, but it hadn't been helped by whatever craziness it had Lucifer had come up with either.
She hadn't really seen all of that, had she? She couldn't have. That sort of thing just didn't happen. For whatever reason, Lucifer had been putting on a show or something. There was bound to be some reason that made sense in his head.
She'd better get up. Sleeping in her clothes was uncomfortable. Lying in bed after having slept in them even more so. Her bra was poking places it shouldn't. Besides, Trixie needed to get to school, so she'd better see to breakfast. She glanced at the clock. Running late already.
She came out of her bedroom. "Trixie! Time to get to…" She stopped when she turned the corner to the kitchen and saw Lucifer. "Oh."
Lucifer turned around, plate in hand. "Good morning, Detective." He'd changed his clothes from yesterday. He was back in his usual tailored shirt and jacket, although the fit looked a little bit off.
The way Lucifer looked was not her main problem right now, though. "Where's Trixie?"
Lucifer turned his head toward the front door, as if trying to see through it. "You just missed her. I convinced Mrs. Martin to take her to school. The girl seemed to think she'd be capable."
Chloe nodded. Konoka Martin had two sons at the same school as Trixie, two and three years above her. They weren't friends, but they'd carpooled before when Dan had flaked. She was also one of the most terrifying momzillas on the block when it came to her children's education. She'd make sure Trixie got to school, all right. "She is. That's good."
Lucifer was regarding her a little curiously. "She wanted to wake you, but you looked like you needed the sleep," he remarked, almost as an aside. "Are you alright, detective?"
Chloe frowned. "Why wouldn't I be?" Even as she said it, images of last night flashed through her head and her stomach turned even at the memory. She closed her eyes for a second. She was swaying on her feet.
"That's a lie," Lucifer concluded immediately. Of course. He took one of her hands in his. His other hand he put at her back, barely touching, only guiding. He made a slight movement toward her couch. "Do you want to sit down?"
The image in her inner eye was Lucifer - well, maybe Lucifer. It didn't look much like him but it felt like it should be him. Lucifer, crushing someone's skull to the floor with his bare hands. The same hands that were now on her. Chloe pulled away. "I prefer to stand." She shook her head, trying to get rid of the images. "Congratulations, your prank worked. You spooked me." She was getting angry now. It helped. She glared at Lucifer who was looking at her, confusion writ large on his face.
Several emotions crossed Lucifer's face before it went completely blank and a little distant. She'd pulled away from him, now he was pulling away from her.
"Oh, it wasn't a prank, Detective."
"Then what was it? You disappear for days on end, and I find out you've gone after a suspect entirely on your own. You're not a cop, Lucifer. Even if you were, you can't just run off and play vigilante!"
"Mortal law enforcement couldn't have handled this," Lucifer tried defending himself. Expression was returning to his face, a mix of the earlier curiosity and increasing disbelief.
Chloe snorted. "I guess not. If you'd treated the LAPD to that lightshow you put on for me, your whole special effects team would be riddled with bullets by now."
"Chloe, don't do this to yourself," Lucifer pleaded. He was seeking support from the kitchen counter. "I understand it's a difficult thing to get your head around, but…"
"Lucifer, I can ignore your delusions most of the time, but this 'Devil' thing is getting out of hand. You have to stop this."
That did something. Lucifer drew himself up again, standing tall and imperious. "It's the truth, Detective." He took a step closer. "Your refusal to face them doesn't change the facts."
He held that pose and expression for several heartbeats, while Chloe didn't dare move. Lucifer wouldn't attack her, she was one hundred percent sure - but right now, it looked like he would lash out at the least thing that did get in his way.
The moment passed, and Lucifer seemed to diminish. He cleared his throat. "As you wish, Detective." He sighed and rubbed his face. "Your capacity for denial is astonishing." He pointed at her laptop, sitting on the other side of the kitchen counter. "I've left a report on there that your Lieutenant will believe. Use it if you like." He turned around to take in the detritus of a fully cooked but not yet served breakfast. "Eat the food, too, while it's still fresh." A moment of silence. "And I think I'd better go."
"Sounds like a good idea," Chloe agreed. Lucifer leaving without being told to get out. There had to be a first time for everything.
"Right, see you later, then."
He headed for the door. Chloe stepped ahead of him to open it, out of habit, politeness or maybe something else she couldn't quite put her finger on.
Lucifer brushed past her on his way out. At that light contact, he stopped on the doorstep and turned around. He wrapped his arms around her. Not with any pressure - more like he was holding on to something so fragile it might break at any moment. Something that needed protecting. It was unexpected enough Chloe didn't struggle. She could feel through his shirt, now. His ribs were bandaged, all injuries hidden by his clothing.
He started talking again, into the top of her head. "I am sorry, Detective. Whenever you're ready, I'm here."
Chloe moved, and Lucifer sprang back as if he'd been tasered. He stood for a few more seconds in awkward silence, brushing his clothes and looking anywhere but at her. Finally, he coughed. "Well then, I'm off. See you… sometime."
Accept
Daylight. Dammit. It was bright enough to wake Chloe up and too bright to keep pretending to sleep, much as she'd like to. She was still exhausted from her nightmares. They had even prompted Trixie to join her, from the extra indentation in the mattress and the vague memory of Trixie's head against her chest. She'd left her plush bird on the floor by the bed.
Except they hadn't just been nightmares, had they? What she'd seen had been nightmarish, but, somehow, real. And completely surreal at the same time. As soon as she closed her eyes, the images danced across her vision again.
Chloe sat up, put her head in her hands. She dug the heels of her hands into her eye sockets, trying to wipe the sight of an honest-to-god demon coming straight at her from her eyeballs. It didn't work, because sight was the least of the sensations involved.
Breathe, Decker. She had Trixie to think of. With Dan still in custody awaiting trial, she couldn't abandon her daughter. There was a way through this. She just had to find it. Right now, she just needed to take another breath. Open her eyes and get moving.
She stood up and got dressed, pausing after every item of clothing and every stroke of her hairbrush. Focussing on the simple mechanics of getting dressed was soothing. She felt almost normal by the time she was done.
She was also running really late to take Trixie to school. She hurried out of the bedroom.
She nearly ran into Lucifer in the corridor, on his way to the bedroom. He was carrying a tray with a breakfast that wouldn't have shamed a five-star hotel.
He stepped back quickly, deftly balancing the tray to keep the coffee from spilling. "Good morning, Detective." When Chloe didn't respond after several seconds, he backed away a little further. "Looks like breakfast in bed is no longer an option," he said hesitantly. "I'll just take this back to the kitchen, shall I?"
He turned around to go back to the kitchen, where he deposited the tray on the dinner table. Chloe stopped in the doorway, watching him.
He was just Lucifer again - immaculate suit, not a hair out of place. This early in the morning, he was even perfectly clean-shaven. No different from usual. But somehow, she couldn't stop seeing last night's Lucifer - all the variations of him, overlying each other, blurring her vision.
No, wait. The blurry vision was her getting dizzy again. Chloe swayed slightly on her feet. Lucifer noticed, and was next to her to guide her to a chair.
As soon as she was sitting down, he retreated to the other side of the table. He didn't sit down. He stood instead, his hands gripping the back of the chair. Presenting himself, almost.
He gave her plenty of time to recover. As Chloe found the strength to look up again, he finally spoke again. "You have questions, I suppose."
"What are you?" It was the first question that came to mind. Even if she really already knew what Lucifer would answer to that one.
He did, too. He looked away, the ghost of a smile on his face. "I've been telling you, Detective. Since the beginning." He swallowed and squared his shoulders, looking her in the eye. "Maybe now you can believe it."
Maybe. He definitely was something. "And what was that thing?"
Lucifer took a deep breath. "It was… a distraction. A demon released from Hell for no other purpose than to side-track me." He looked away. "It worked."
Chloe closed her eyes. It was a mistake. Lucifer's words brought the thing - demon - to the forefront of her mind again. She folded her hands together to stop them trembling.
A chair scraped on the floor, then Lucifer's hands wrapped around hers. "It thrives on death and chaos. But it's back where it belongs. It can't touch you here, Detective, if you don't let it." When she didn't respond, he insisted. "Chloe, open your eyes."
She did. Lucifer had sat down and he was leaning across the table. She could only see his eyes, looking back into hers. "The bad news is I can't do anything to protect you from this part." The crow's feet around his eyes wrinkled. "The good news is I don't have to. That's the power of humanity. You get to choose."
"Choose what?"
"Anything. Everything." Lucifer released her hands and sat back. "The great powers of the universe can try to persuade you with force or favour, but ultimately your actions are your own.
"In this case, you can choose what to focus on. The fear is one focus, certainly. I've never known you to be afraid for long, Detective. How do you usually get past your fears?"
Chloe took a deep breath. Focus on what was in front of her. Which, in this case, happened to be Lucifer.
Lucifer, who was the Devil.
Lucifer, who had crushed the demon with his bare hands.
Lucifer, who had driven the man who had ordered the hit on Delilah into insanity.
Lucifer, who had nearly strangled one murder suspect and thrown another through a window.
Lucifer, who had sacrificed himself so she and Trixie could get away from Malcom Graham.
Lucifer, who had been genuinely upset by Malcolm killing in his name.
Lucifer, who had saved her when she'd been near-fatally shot.
Lucifer, who had once been an angel.
There'd been fear last night, but there had been hope, too. Lucifer had revealed himself as a demon, but before that… Before that, there had been a glimpse of the angel he had been. That's what was in front of her, now.
She nodded, slowly. Took a deep breath, just to see if she could. Her breathing didn't waver. Good. She closed her eyes again. The images weren't gone, but they were bearable. She could get past this.
Lucifer noticed the improvement, too. He smiled, a grin with genuine cheer this time. "Well done, Detective." He sat up straight, hands flat on the table. "Anything else you want to know?"
There was something else before her, something that should have been higher in her mind. It seemed very much as if they were alone. "Where's Trixie?"
Lucifer raised an eyebrow. "At school, where she should be." He tried for a neutral expression, but it came closer to a smile. "We had quite the argument this morning. She insisted on going to school and waking you up before she left. I said she could stay home if she liked, but you were going to sleep as long as it took. In the end, we compromised on her going to school and you sleeping in.
"Of course, then we got to the matter of how she was going to get to school."
Chloe dug into the breakfast (it really was that good), while Lucifer told the tale of his expedition to the Martin's house across the street. Chloe hid a smile at his spot-on descriptions of Konoka Martin and her two sons. This felt so domestic, so normal. The pure mundanity of the scene did even more to dispel the fear in the back of her mind than Lucifer's earlier encouragement had.
It wouldn't last, though. It couldn't.
Lucifer often talked as if the people he interacted with on a day-to-day basis were, if not exactly inferior, then distant from him. Of course he would, if being the Devil was not just a delusion, but actual fact. Just from what she'd seen last night, he was used to interacting on a completely different level.
He'd been playing human for five years already. How much longer could he keep that up?'
"What are you thinking about, Detective?" Lucifer had noticed her distraction.
Direct always seemed to work best where Lucifer was concerned. "Where do we go from here?"
Lucifer frowned at her, then gestured at the laptop on the kitchen counter. "If it's the wrap-up of the case you're worried about, I wrote a summary. It covers the essentials without going into unnecessary details. You can adapt that for your reports, or make up your own version."
Chloe shook her head. "That's not what I meant. I mean…" she made some nonspecific hand gestures, intending to encompass her, Lucifer and the entire situation. "Everything else."
"I see." Lucifer let the silence stretch. "Well, what do you want, Detective?"
It always came back to that, didn't it? Lucifer was so good at getting answers to that question. And she truly didn't have one for him. "I… I don't know."
"Hmmm… Of course, I have some ideas." He launched into a list of potential activities that ranged from the merely tasteless (private tour of a porn studio) to the borderline illegal (gatecrash a Hollywood party), with a stop in between for the ridiculously extravagant (rent out the Bellagio hotel and re-enact Hot Tub High School with models - male ones, that is), and more. "But that doesn't strike me as anything you'd want to do."
"What if I just wanted to stay in, order pizza and play Scrabble?"
Lucifer's face lit up. "Why, Detective." He shot her the grin he usually reserved for flirting. "You'd play games with the Devil?"
For once, Chloe felt like responding in kind. "Sure."
Lucifer took off his jacket and rolled up his sleeves. "Challenge accepted. Bring it on."
--
XWA
This entry was crossposted from DreamWidth. The DreamWidth entry has
comments. You can comment on whichever entry you prefer.
Author:
xwingace/xwingace
Summary:The morning after the night before, Chloe has to make a choice, and face the consequences. Follow-up to Blessed Are Those Who Have not Seen
Fandoms: Lucifer(TV)
Word count: ~3800
Rating/Contents: PG 13 for some violence in the first chapter. No warnings apply to this part.
NotesSo... apparently I did need to write Chloe making her choice. But I couldn't write just *one* option.
Thank you to moonbeamsfanfic for the beta.
Available on:
Livejournal
Dreamwidth
Fanfiction.net
Archive of Our Own
Forget
Daylight. Dammit. Chloe turned into her pillow, trying to glean a few more moments of sleep. The last few days had been hell. In fact, she didn't even remember getting home and falling into bed yesterday evening.
Something poked uncomfortably into her side. The rivets on her jeans. Wow, she must have been really tired to not have undressed last night. She sat up, hoping to get out of her clothes, close the curtains and sleep a little longer.
Her foot hit a plush bird. The toy Trixie still slept with (though she pretended she didn't). How'd that get here? That thought was soon overtaken by another. It was a school day. Trixie needed to get to school. What time was it?
Sleepiness forgotten for the moment, Chloe rushed into the kitchen. She was brought up short by the smell of freshly baked muffins, overlaid with coffee and bacon. And Lucifer at the kitchen counter, arranging all of it on a tray. He must have heard her coming, because he set down the plate and turned around.
"Good morning, Detective."
The greeting was subdued, not at all like Lucifer. On the other hand, the showing up unannounced and uninvited very much was. "Lucifer, you can't keep breaking in here!"
"Oh." She seemed to have actually stumped him. Ever ready with a retort, Lucifer now regarded her in silence for a few heartbeats. Then he nodded.
"I didn't, in fact," he said. "Not this time." He picked up the coffee pot from the counter and poured some into a mug. "You collapsed at work. I talked to your lieutenant, then took you home." He gestured toward the bedroom with the mug. "I put you into your bed and waited here."
"What?" It was the first question that came to her mind. Okay, she'd been running mostly on candy bars and caffeine for the past three days, but still, to just black out like that… Maybe she shouldn't have taken those painkillers before interviewing survivors. But they'd just been Tylenol and without them she wouldn't have been able to concentrate through the massive headache that was this whole case. Besides, it wasn't what mattered most. Chloe shook her head, overriding her first question with a different one. "Where's Trixie?"
"Mrs Martin from across the street took her to school along with her own spawn." Lucifer shot a glance in the direction of the Martin household and then gave her one of his trademark suggestive grins. "She'll see your offspring gets her education."
"And as for why I waited, well…" He took up the platter he'd been arranging earlier and offered it to her with a flourish. "I could hardly put you to bed and let you wake up without breakfast twice. I do have a reputation to maintain."
Chloe pushed the tray away. The smells coming off it were glorious, but her stomach knotted itself at the thought of eating. Anger seemed the easiest way around nausea. It wasn't as if Lucifer didn't deserve it. "And where were you the past few days? Maintaining that 'reputation' while I worked my ass off?"
Lucifer's cheerful grin faded. He slid the tray back onto the counter and squared his shoulders. "You did suggest I keep a low profile. What with the press getting on my neck again for more Satanic killings. Which were just as much my responsibility as the last batch, I might add."
Sarcasm, the sign of an annoyed Lucifer. That brought Chloe up short. She had suggested that. Still, she hadn't expected Lucifer to take her up on it so literally. He'd had plenty of objections the previous time, and he'd been a lot closer to the case, then. "Keeping a low profile isn't disappearing altogether!"
That headache was coming back. She glared at Lucifer as hard as the pounding in her head allowed. He appeared chastened, at least. He swallowed. "Yes. I am sorry about that."
Chloe closed her eyes and sighed. She wanted so much to get back to bed and sleep for another day, but there was more work to be done. Cases like these didn't wait. "Okay, fine. Apology accepted. You can make up for it by helping from today. That last killing spree had witnesses. We still need to interview them and…"
"Oh, right, I should have said sooner," Lucifer interrupted her. He reached across the counter and grabbed the newspaper that was next to her open laptop. He presented the headline article to her. "Police received an anonymous tip yesterday. They found a whole set of miscreants in a barn out in the desert." He turned the paper around and read from the article. "Suspects could be tied to several of the recent massacres."
He slapped the paper back onto the counter. "All over but the mopping up. Your lieutenant said to take the day off and rest. Paperwork can wait until tomorrow."
"Thank God," Chloe couldn't help expressing her relief. She caught the sour look from Lucifer, insulted as usual at any reference to his 'Father'. She couldn't bring herself to care too much. Her bed beckoned. "Okay then. You get out of here so I can go back to sleep." She pointed him to the door. "I'll call you tomorrow if I have anything."
That surprised Lucifer. "Oh, come on, Detective, you can't throw me out again! We haven't even had breakfast yet!"
Chloe grabbed one of the muffins off the tray and put it in Lucifer's hands. "Here you go."
Lucifer took the muffin and let himself be guided to the door without further struggle. Once outside, though, he just stood there, doing nothing and with an unreadable expression on his face. It was weird enough to trigger a spark of curiosity. "Hey," she said, and once Lucifer focused his attention on her, "you okay?"
"I'm fine," he responded, sighing. He straightened out. "Just a bit… disappointed." He went distant for a second, then came back to the moment at hand. "Goodbye, Detective. Sleep well."
Deny
Daylight. Dammit. It was bright enough to wake Chloe up and too bright to keep pretending to sleep, much as she'd like to. She was still exhausted from her nightmares. They had even prompted Trixie to join her, from the looks of it. She'd left her plush toy behind this morning.
Except they hadn't just been nightmares, had they? Oh, there'd been nightmares last night, but it hadn't been helped by whatever craziness it had Lucifer had come up with either.
She hadn't really seen all of that, had she? She couldn't have. That sort of thing just didn't happen. For whatever reason, Lucifer had been putting on a show or something. There was bound to be some reason that made sense in his head.
She'd better get up. Sleeping in her clothes was uncomfortable. Lying in bed after having slept in them even more so. Her bra was poking places it shouldn't. Besides, Trixie needed to get to school, so she'd better see to breakfast. She glanced at the clock. Running late already.
She came out of her bedroom. "Trixie! Time to get to…" She stopped when she turned the corner to the kitchen and saw Lucifer. "Oh."
Lucifer turned around, plate in hand. "Good morning, Detective." He'd changed his clothes from yesterday. He was back in his usual tailored shirt and jacket, although the fit looked a little bit off.
The way Lucifer looked was not her main problem right now, though. "Where's Trixie?"
Lucifer turned his head toward the front door, as if trying to see through it. "You just missed her. I convinced Mrs. Martin to take her to school. The girl seemed to think she'd be capable."
Chloe nodded. Konoka Martin had two sons at the same school as Trixie, two and three years above her. They weren't friends, but they'd carpooled before when Dan had flaked. She was also one of the most terrifying momzillas on the block when it came to her children's education. She'd make sure Trixie got to school, all right. "She is. That's good."
Lucifer was regarding her a little curiously. "She wanted to wake you, but you looked like you needed the sleep," he remarked, almost as an aside. "Are you alright, detective?"
Chloe frowned. "Why wouldn't I be?" Even as she said it, images of last night flashed through her head and her stomach turned even at the memory. She closed her eyes for a second. She was swaying on her feet.
"That's a lie," Lucifer concluded immediately. Of course. He took one of her hands in his. His other hand he put at her back, barely touching, only guiding. He made a slight movement toward her couch. "Do you want to sit down?"
The image in her inner eye was Lucifer - well, maybe Lucifer. It didn't look much like him but it felt like it should be him. Lucifer, crushing someone's skull to the floor with his bare hands. The same hands that were now on her. Chloe pulled away. "I prefer to stand." She shook her head, trying to get rid of the images. "Congratulations, your prank worked. You spooked me." She was getting angry now. It helped. She glared at Lucifer who was looking at her, confusion writ large on his face.
Several emotions crossed Lucifer's face before it went completely blank and a little distant. She'd pulled away from him, now he was pulling away from her.
"Oh, it wasn't a prank, Detective."
"Then what was it? You disappear for days on end, and I find out you've gone after a suspect entirely on your own. You're not a cop, Lucifer. Even if you were, you can't just run off and play vigilante!"
"Mortal law enforcement couldn't have handled this," Lucifer tried defending himself. Expression was returning to his face, a mix of the earlier curiosity and increasing disbelief.
Chloe snorted. "I guess not. If you'd treated the LAPD to that lightshow you put on for me, your whole special effects team would be riddled with bullets by now."
"Chloe, don't do this to yourself," Lucifer pleaded. He was seeking support from the kitchen counter. "I understand it's a difficult thing to get your head around, but…"
"Lucifer, I can ignore your delusions most of the time, but this 'Devil' thing is getting out of hand. You have to stop this."
That did something. Lucifer drew himself up again, standing tall and imperious. "It's the truth, Detective." He took a step closer. "Your refusal to face them doesn't change the facts."
He held that pose and expression for several heartbeats, while Chloe didn't dare move. Lucifer wouldn't attack her, she was one hundred percent sure - but right now, it looked like he would lash out at the least thing that did get in his way.
The moment passed, and Lucifer seemed to diminish. He cleared his throat. "As you wish, Detective." He sighed and rubbed his face. "Your capacity for denial is astonishing." He pointed at her laptop, sitting on the other side of the kitchen counter. "I've left a report on there that your Lieutenant will believe. Use it if you like." He turned around to take in the detritus of a fully cooked but not yet served breakfast. "Eat the food, too, while it's still fresh." A moment of silence. "And I think I'd better go."
"Sounds like a good idea," Chloe agreed. Lucifer leaving without being told to get out. There had to be a first time for everything.
"Right, see you later, then."
He headed for the door. Chloe stepped ahead of him to open it, out of habit, politeness or maybe something else she couldn't quite put her finger on.
Lucifer brushed past her on his way out. At that light contact, he stopped on the doorstep and turned around. He wrapped his arms around her. Not with any pressure - more like he was holding on to something so fragile it might break at any moment. Something that needed protecting. It was unexpected enough Chloe didn't struggle. She could feel through his shirt, now. His ribs were bandaged, all injuries hidden by his clothing.
He started talking again, into the top of her head. "I am sorry, Detective. Whenever you're ready, I'm here."
Chloe moved, and Lucifer sprang back as if he'd been tasered. He stood for a few more seconds in awkward silence, brushing his clothes and looking anywhere but at her. Finally, he coughed. "Well then, I'm off. See you… sometime."
Accept
Daylight. Dammit. It was bright enough to wake Chloe up and too bright to keep pretending to sleep, much as she'd like to. She was still exhausted from her nightmares. They had even prompted Trixie to join her, from the extra indentation in the mattress and the vague memory of Trixie's head against her chest. She'd left her plush bird on the floor by the bed.
Except they hadn't just been nightmares, had they? What she'd seen had been nightmarish, but, somehow, real. And completely surreal at the same time. As soon as she closed her eyes, the images danced across her vision again.
Chloe sat up, put her head in her hands. She dug the heels of her hands into her eye sockets, trying to wipe the sight of an honest-to-god demon coming straight at her from her eyeballs. It didn't work, because sight was the least of the sensations involved.
Breathe, Decker. She had Trixie to think of. With Dan still in custody awaiting trial, she couldn't abandon her daughter. There was a way through this. She just had to find it. Right now, she just needed to take another breath. Open her eyes and get moving.
She stood up and got dressed, pausing after every item of clothing and every stroke of her hairbrush. Focussing on the simple mechanics of getting dressed was soothing. She felt almost normal by the time she was done.
She was also running really late to take Trixie to school. She hurried out of the bedroom.
She nearly ran into Lucifer in the corridor, on his way to the bedroom. He was carrying a tray with a breakfast that wouldn't have shamed a five-star hotel.
He stepped back quickly, deftly balancing the tray to keep the coffee from spilling. "Good morning, Detective." When Chloe didn't respond after several seconds, he backed away a little further. "Looks like breakfast in bed is no longer an option," he said hesitantly. "I'll just take this back to the kitchen, shall I?"
He turned around to go back to the kitchen, where he deposited the tray on the dinner table. Chloe stopped in the doorway, watching him.
He was just Lucifer again - immaculate suit, not a hair out of place. This early in the morning, he was even perfectly clean-shaven. No different from usual. But somehow, she couldn't stop seeing last night's Lucifer - all the variations of him, overlying each other, blurring her vision.
No, wait. The blurry vision was her getting dizzy again. Chloe swayed slightly on her feet. Lucifer noticed, and was next to her to guide her to a chair.
As soon as she was sitting down, he retreated to the other side of the table. He didn't sit down. He stood instead, his hands gripping the back of the chair. Presenting himself, almost.
He gave her plenty of time to recover. As Chloe found the strength to look up again, he finally spoke again. "You have questions, I suppose."
"What are you?" It was the first question that came to mind. Even if she really already knew what Lucifer would answer to that one.
He did, too. He looked away, the ghost of a smile on his face. "I've been telling you, Detective. Since the beginning." He swallowed and squared his shoulders, looking her in the eye. "Maybe now you can believe it."
Maybe. He definitely was something. "And what was that thing?"
Lucifer took a deep breath. "It was… a distraction. A demon released from Hell for no other purpose than to side-track me." He looked away. "It worked."
Chloe closed her eyes. It was a mistake. Lucifer's words brought the thing - demon - to the forefront of her mind again. She folded her hands together to stop them trembling.
A chair scraped on the floor, then Lucifer's hands wrapped around hers. "It thrives on death and chaos. But it's back where it belongs. It can't touch you here, Detective, if you don't let it." When she didn't respond, he insisted. "Chloe, open your eyes."
She did. Lucifer had sat down and he was leaning across the table. She could only see his eyes, looking back into hers. "The bad news is I can't do anything to protect you from this part." The crow's feet around his eyes wrinkled. "The good news is I don't have to. That's the power of humanity. You get to choose."
"Choose what?"
"Anything. Everything." Lucifer released her hands and sat back. "The great powers of the universe can try to persuade you with force or favour, but ultimately your actions are your own.
"In this case, you can choose what to focus on. The fear is one focus, certainly. I've never known you to be afraid for long, Detective. How do you usually get past your fears?"
Chloe took a deep breath. Focus on what was in front of her. Which, in this case, happened to be Lucifer.
Lucifer, who was the Devil.
Lucifer, who had crushed the demon with his bare hands.
Lucifer, who had driven the man who had ordered the hit on Delilah into insanity.
Lucifer, who had nearly strangled one murder suspect and thrown another through a window.
Lucifer, who had sacrificed himself so she and Trixie could get away from Malcom Graham.
Lucifer, who had been genuinely upset by Malcolm killing in his name.
Lucifer, who had saved her when she'd been near-fatally shot.
Lucifer, who had once been an angel.
There'd been fear last night, but there had been hope, too. Lucifer had revealed himself as a demon, but before that… Before that, there had been a glimpse of the angel he had been. That's what was in front of her, now.
She nodded, slowly. Took a deep breath, just to see if she could. Her breathing didn't waver. Good. She closed her eyes again. The images weren't gone, but they were bearable. She could get past this.
Lucifer noticed the improvement, too. He smiled, a grin with genuine cheer this time. "Well done, Detective." He sat up straight, hands flat on the table. "Anything else you want to know?"
There was something else before her, something that should have been higher in her mind. It seemed very much as if they were alone. "Where's Trixie?"
Lucifer raised an eyebrow. "At school, where she should be." He tried for a neutral expression, but it came closer to a smile. "We had quite the argument this morning. She insisted on going to school and waking you up before she left. I said she could stay home if she liked, but you were going to sleep as long as it took. In the end, we compromised on her going to school and you sleeping in.
"Of course, then we got to the matter of how she was going to get to school."
Chloe dug into the breakfast (it really was that good), while Lucifer told the tale of his expedition to the Martin's house across the street. Chloe hid a smile at his spot-on descriptions of Konoka Martin and her two sons. This felt so domestic, so normal. The pure mundanity of the scene did even more to dispel the fear in the back of her mind than Lucifer's earlier encouragement had.
It wouldn't last, though. It couldn't.
Lucifer often talked as if the people he interacted with on a day-to-day basis were, if not exactly inferior, then distant from him. Of course he would, if being the Devil was not just a delusion, but actual fact. Just from what she'd seen last night, he was used to interacting on a completely different level.
He'd been playing human for five years already. How much longer could he keep that up?'
"What are you thinking about, Detective?" Lucifer had noticed her distraction.
Direct always seemed to work best where Lucifer was concerned. "Where do we go from here?"
Lucifer frowned at her, then gestured at the laptop on the kitchen counter. "If it's the wrap-up of the case you're worried about, I wrote a summary. It covers the essentials without going into unnecessary details. You can adapt that for your reports, or make up your own version."
Chloe shook her head. "That's not what I meant. I mean…" she made some nonspecific hand gestures, intending to encompass her, Lucifer and the entire situation. "Everything else."
"I see." Lucifer let the silence stretch. "Well, what do you want, Detective?"
It always came back to that, didn't it? Lucifer was so good at getting answers to that question. And she truly didn't have one for him. "I… I don't know."
"Hmmm… Of course, I have some ideas." He launched into a list of potential activities that ranged from the merely tasteless (private tour of a porn studio) to the borderline illegal (gatecrash a Hollywood party), with a stop in between for the ridiculously extravagant (rent out the Bellagio hotel and re-enact Hot Tub High School with models - male ones, that is), and more. "But that doesn't strike me as anything you'd want to do."
"What if I just wanted to stay in, order pizza and play Scrabble?"
Lucifer's face lit up. "Why, Detective." He shot her the grin he usually reserved for flirting. "You'd play games with the Devil?"
For once, Chloe felt like responding in kind. "Sure."
Lucifer took off his jacket and rolled up his sleeves. "Challenge accepted. Bring it on."
--
XWA
This entry was crossposted from DreamWidth. The DreamWidth entry has
comments. You can comment on whichever entry you prefer.