(no subject)

[xwhoaa_its_jo]

yeh so i'm really not in such a great mood due to the fact that i did't make soccer today :(. i really though i had a good chance being i've been playing all my life and its the only sport im actually good at. but then 12 girls that were cut from varisty came to play with us today but i still ahd hopes cuz dolan kept putting me in to play with them nd kept talking to me but the lsit was posted and i wasn't on it. idk i really think it sucks that like the girls that were cut from varsity are automatically guaranteed a spot on jv and not all of them were amazing but i guess its wutever the coaches want or im just being selfish nd jealous cuz i really wanted to be on the team. so yeh that was already 12 spots lost and i guess i just wasn't good enough to fill one of the spots left :/. i cried alot and was really crushed and was kind of embaressed to tell anyone at first cuz they all though i would make it and kept saying it so i kind of feel like a fool for making such a big deal about tryouts and stuff. well i really did try my best and i do beleive things happen for a reason but sometimes i feel im just neveer good enough to ever make anything esp with sports but i've played them all my life i just wish i had more talent. its jsut not fair how much competition there is here but like tina says i guess thats wut you get for choosing a big school to go to...eh. i jsut for once want to make a team in this school besides gay track that was walk on and now i got theater but ehh chorus is this year and i can't sing for shit. i feel like theater is the only thing i'll ever make here and i don't even know if i'll make any plays this year. i guess im just being all emo bout this crap but lately i feel like there's nothing special bout me like not one thing i'm really good at and i know everyone is always like omg thats nott ru nd blah nd shit but i still don't see anything i guess i really need to get my self esteem back up before school starts im thinking about kickline again cuz wuts another rejection...yeh wuteves.

ok well lyss is here now =) we're goin to the fair with everyone so ill write more later...paycee